The Susan Chronicles: The Call
by AmazingGraceless
Summary: Susan Pevensie is a Ravenclaw witch who has to go back to school after all of her siblings die in train crashes. As the Death Eater regime advances, she regrets what she said to her siblings, and is trying to get back to Narnia and reverse the death of her brothers and sister. But where does she stand in the Voldemort war? And who is calling her with that mysterious song?
1. How Umbridge Annoyed Susan

**AN: This does have a bit of Suspian, yes. But let me clarify, I've made a few timeline changes. One, it's in the nineties, so yeah.. Also, Susan is going into her fifth year at sixteen, with Harry and co., when she looses everyone in** ** _The Last Battle._** **Enjoy!**

I kept my head down as I walked through King's Cross Station, so I didn't have to meet anyone's eyes. Especially Cho Chang's. Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with the older Ravenclaw girl, but she's been weepy over Cedric Diggory's death, and although it was quite sad, it's not as tragic as finding out that your siblings all just died over the summer.

"Be good this year, Susan." Aunt Alberta said. She looked much older than she had the last time I'd seen her, but then again, that was before she lost her own son, my cousin. Bags were under her eyes, and her hair was much grayer than it had been.

"I will." I promised. My voice sounded hollow.

"Remember to...come home over the holidays." Uncle Harold said slowly. I nodded. We were the only family left, now. We had to be together as much as possible.

"I will." I promised.

"Well, goodbye, then." Uncle Harold said awkwardly. He and Aunt Alberta walked away, leaving me alone on Platform 9 and 3/4 with my trunk, owl, and carpetbag. I bought a _Daily Prophet_ for the train ride at the news stand, and boarded the train. My trunk was in the luggage coach, and I took a drafty, empty compartment by the end of the train station. I fingered my Time-Turner around my neck.

I had one for classes, in order to take multiple classes at one time. After my siblings were reported dead, I threw myself into my classes, and requested extra classes from Professor Flitwick. In addition to Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, and Care of Magical Creatures, I'd added Divination, Alchemy, and Magical Theory. More advanced electives, but I could handle it. Besides, it helped me forget the pain that several deaths had left, even fictional ones from that little game that my siblings and I used to play.

I opened up my _Daily Prophet_. More slander about Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. He claimed that You-Know-Who had returned, and was the killer of Cedric Diggory. The Ministry of Magic claimed that Cedric Diggory had died in an accident during the last round of the Triwizard Tournament, and that Harry Potter was just mad. I didn't know what to believe, but Potter didn't seem mad to me, but then again, madness is never evident from a distance, in my experience.

What did catch my attention, however, was an article with the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

 **UNDERSECRETARY DELORES UMBRIDGE TEACHING DEFENCE AT HOGWARTS**

 _By Margaret Relding_

 _It's been rumored that the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts is jinxed. This year, only woman was brave enough to take the post up. May I remind you that werewolves, frauds, and mad men have taken this post, under Dumbledore's so-called vigilant watch, so hopefully Madam Umbridge will bring some security to the table. Minister Cornelius Fudge commented that, "We hope Madam Umbridge will bring some much-needed change to Hogwarts."_

 _For how she'll do exactly that, turn to page 22._

I remembered Professor Lupin. He seemed nice, for a teacher, and certainly taught us quite a bit. Was it worth judging all werewolves off of actions of a few, like Fenir Greyback? I'd heard nasty things about him, but if I were Queen, I'd-

I stopped myself. _Narnia isn't real,_ I reminded myself. _It was just a childish game you used for some comfort in your quickly-changing life with your siblings. You're a grown-up now-you know better than this._

 _But you know_ he _was real, don't you?_ Another little voice in my head asked. _He was just a fictional crush based on my unrealistic standards._ I reminded myself.

 _But Caspian-_ the little voice had gone too far. I'd begun to cry in memory, and I conjured a tissue out of the end of my pale oak wand, and dabbed at the mascara that was beginning to dribble down my cheeks, before it could reach my pristine white shirt that was uniform.

 _He isn't real._

* * *

I got off the train, and placed my trunk on top of another one. I jumped onto the top, and sat down right across from... Cho Chang.

 _Oh no._

She was crying, too.

" _Sniffilus Fil._ " I casted, and a handkerchief sprouted out of the end of my wand, right out of the part that looked like a lion's mouth, ready to roar. Had it always had that? I couldn't remember, but it reminded me of that horn Father Christmas gave me- in that game.

I handed it to Cho, who blew her nose loudly, sounding like a honking swan.

"I know you must miss him." I said, trying to comfort her.

"What would you know, Susan? You've never lost anyone you truly cared about." Cho cried.

I gasped. Then I remembered- I'd never told Cho, because she never needed to know.

"I have." I said gently. I'd seen death itself, I remembered, seeing the thestrals. _In that stupid, childish game._ The thestral disappeared. _That's unusual._

"Who?" Cho asked.

"I lost my siblings and my cousins just this summer." I explained. Tears began to burn my ducts again. I conjured a handkerchief of my own, and dabbed.

"So that's why Peter isn't here." Cho murmured.

I frowned. _Does she only care about Peter, because he might have been a replacement?_

"That's right." I confirmed. I looked down at my trembling hands. I'd never scold Edmund to tuck in his sweater again, tuck Lucy into bed again, put my arm around Peter and tell him that everything would be alright...

I felt like I was choking, but I tried to swallow it down. _Act normal._

* * *

I sat with Mandy Brocklehurst, and Padma Patil once again, and between Terry Boot and Anthony Goldstein, both of whom were trying to flirt with me. I smiled back, returned a few witty replies, pretended I'd care. Yet none of them would compare to him.

 _Of course they wouldn't, Susan_ , I scolded myself harshly. _He's made up perfection for you. Unachievable standards. You don't want to end up all alone, do you?_

"Hem, hem." Professor Umbridge coughed. Right in the middle of Dumbledore's speech! How impolite! Why, if I were Queen- _you were never a queen, Susan_ \- I'd tell her to leave the throne room of Cair Paravel- _your stupid made-up palace_.

"If I may have a word?" The toad asked. Professor Dumbledore gestured for her to speak.

"How happy I am to see all of your smiling faces!" She said, with a rather creepy-White-Witch ( _your made-up villainess_ ) kind of smile about her. I knew I wasn't smiling. "I'm sure we will become great friends over the course of the year."

Everyone, especially the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table, looked dismayed at being talked-down to like we were all nine years old.

 _Aslan never talked down to Lucy, when she was nine_. I shook my head slightly. _No! There is no Narnia!_

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the wizarding community must be passed down the generations lest we lose them for ever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching.

"Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering.

"A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgement.

"Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited."

With that, the old toad shut up, and sat back down.

"Thank-you, Delores. That was quite...illuminating." Professor Dumbledore said. "Return to your common rooms."

* * *

"'Progress for progress's sake must be discouraged?'" I cried upon entry in the common room. "That's the whole point of Ravenclaw, for Aslan's sake!" I clapped a hand over my mouth. Why did that slip out, in front everyone?

"We're all about pursuit of knowledge, just to know!" Terry agreed.

"This means one thing." I then continued. The whole common room, including the ovalmancers, stopped dead, in front of me. I think it was the regality I had when I was Queen of the imaginary Narnia radiating off of me. When I called myself Queen Susan, the Gentle.

"The Ministry's interfering at Hogwarts, and for whatever reason, they don't want us to think for ourselves." I finished.

There was applause except from a few, like Marietta Edgecombe. Children of Ministry workers.

 **AN: Read, review, and no flames.**


	2. The Song in the Dormitory

I prepared for bed in the dormitory. I had set aside a specific routine, mostly just so I could sleep. First, I polished my wand, made sure it was as sleek and shiny as my made-up horn and treated it how I would've my bow and arrows- you never actually laid hands on one, you just imagined archery.

Then I changed into my pajamas, and braided my hair so it wouldn't become too messed up in my sleep. I'd lay in bed, with one candle flickering, and read one chapter, or scene, or something of the like, of whatever I would be reading at the time, and then I would blow out the candle, and wait until sleep hit me like that other train hit the one that Lucy and Edmund were on.

"Is Ministry control such a bad thing?" Lisa Turpin asked, as she brushed out her shiny blonde hair.

"Of course it is," I said coldly. "It's propaganda." I never tried to rule with propaganda ( _YOU NEVER RULED A COUNTRY, SUSAN!_ ). It was a distasteful, de-progressing tradition.

"How do you know that? Are you on Potter's side?" Isobel MacDougal accused.

"I am not on Harry Potter's side, nor the Ministry of Magic's." I corrected her icily. "I reserve all judgement until I have heard Potter's side of the story. I have heard the Ministry, but I have not heard Potter, so I will not judge."

"Why can't you just make a judgement, based on the evidence given from a reliable source?" Sue Li demanded, jumping on the bandwagon.

"I will not because for one, any government can become corrupt, so you must be able to think and rebel against any government that you feel is unfair, also to scare any future ruler into behaving responsibly for the people." I explained, remembering the feeling of my game, when I ruled a world, and took it responsibly, seriously. "Also, I will not because it is not fair to judge from only one point of view."

I was reminded painfully of how Edmund pretended to betray us before he joined us in the imaginary monarchy, and how real it still felt, despite us only pretending. If I'd only known how he was feeling then, he wouldn't have taken out on us...in our game.

Edmund always pretended to rule justly and fairly after that- and even in our games, he had taught me something.

"What if it's the only one you've got?" Padma piped up. She wasn't against my ideas, I knew, she just wanted to press my theory, like any dutiful and true Ravenclaw. Yet that night, I couldn't take it that way.

"There's always another way to get another perspective, Padma!" I yelled. I regretted my tone as soon as it escaped my mouth. Everyone was a bit shocked. It was a general rule that when Ravenclaws debated anything, you didn't yell.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get ready for bed." I said, and I grabbed a change of pajamas, and a towel, and hit the girls' showers. I didn't care that the water was cold, in fact, I stayed in it for a long time, just because I wanted it to wash away my grief, wash it all away, take it all away from me.

My teeth were chattering as I threw on an old gray t-shirt of Peter's, and a pair of red plaid sweatpants, and I began to brush out my thick, wavy fair, before it would dry off. When I got back into the dormitory, most of the girls were finishing with wiping off their makeup with sorts of magical wipes- probably the only things that could undo the makeup enchanted to stand against wind, rain, and extensive heat, and remain good for your skin.

I braided my cold, damp hair, and pulled out my supplies to polish my wand. I squirted a bit of Horner's Wand Wax, made from the honey of the magical Snow-bee, onto my special cloth, and rubbed it over the surface of the wand. I aggressively attacked the chore, polishing every nook and cranny and crevice in the carving of the lion on the wand, and the basic decorations of it all.

After that, I applied the corresponding Wand Elixir, which made the wand not sticky with wax at the end of the night, if I let it sit in its box. Which I did. I still had the original Ollivander box all those years- Edmund always called me a pack-rat for keeping so much. Now, it was even more important for me to keep anything I could- to remember what was now gone.

I sat in bed, with my books piled on my nightstand. _A Midsummer Night's Dream,_ an old favorite of mine (perhaps because it reminded me of my games with my siblings), _Romeo and Juliet_ ( the play I promised Aunt Alberta I'd read this year) and a photo album.

I began to crack open the tome I promised Aunt Alberta that I'd scale.

 _Two households, both alike in dignity,_

 _In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,_

 _From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,_

 _Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean._

 _From forth the fatal loins of these two foes_

 _A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;_

 _Whose misadventured piteous overthrows_

 _Do with their death bury their parents' strife._

 _The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,_

 _And the continuance of their parents' rage,_

 _Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,_

 _Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;_

 _The which if you with patient ears attend,_

 _What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend._

I slammed the book shut. I didn't think I could handle any more tragedy in my life at the moment. Instead, I opened the photo album. It was taken so many summers ago, back when we first played Narnia, when we stayed with Professor Kirk, before he got poor and died.

There was some comfort, just looking at the pictures, and knowing that as long as I remembered them, they would still be around.

Still, there was one picture I didn't have that I would've liked- one of Caspian. But I couldn't have that, since you couldn't exactly take pictures of fantasies.

I slammed that book shut, too. I guess it hadn't brought as much peace to me as I would've liked. I just lay in bed as the moonlit night was soft and silent. Everyone else was asleep, so I blew out my candle, yet I couldn't rest. Couldn't sleep. Insomnia had been frequenting me over the summer of 1996, and I had to cover up the bruises under my eyes with makeup. Peter didn't like how much I used it to begin with, that I remembered. I smiled at the memory, of us arguing over something so trivial.

" _It started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope._ " A male voice sang. I sat up straight from my stupor of memories.

"Who's there?" I called softly, so not to wake the others.

" _Which then turned into a quiet thought, which then turned into a quiet word._ " The voice continued. I grabbed my wand, and whispered " _Lumos._ " I scanned over the dormitory. There was no one there.

" _Let your memories grow stronger and louder, until it was a battle cry,_ " the singing continued. I started down the corridor into the common room.

" _I'll come back, when you call me._ " The voice continued to sing, much louder than before. I scanned over the common room. No one was there.

"Who's there?" I called out. "I'm not going to turn you in to Flitwick or Umbridge. I just want to know who you are."

" _No need to say goodbye._ " The voice continued. I suddenly felt more relaxed than I had in a long time. I felt like I could fall asleep right there.

 _No._ It felt like another person communicating with me telepathically, but no one was there, so I knew it couldn't be. _Get to your dormitory, first._

 _But I'm tired._ I argued in my head- how ridiculous, arguing with myself in my head!

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and gasped, but no one was there. The invisible-hand-force seemed to be pushing me forwards.

"Alright, alright." I grumbled. I stomped up the stairs, and slid back under the eiderdown, and fell asleep promptly.


	3. The Useless Professors

We Ravenclaws shared Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindors. I was interested for Professor Umbridge's lesson. She was wearing a pink fuzzy cardigan, something that Lucy would have despised, and a black velvet bow was nestled in her mousy permed hairstyle.

"Well, good afternoon!" said Professor Umbridge.

"Good afternoon." I mumbled.

"Tut, tut," Professor Umbridge scolded. "That won't do, now will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge." We chanted.

"There now," Professor Umbridge said sweetly. "That wasn't so hard, was it? Wands away and quills out."

I frowned. I hated being addressed that way. I remembered back when she might have had to bow, curtsy, get on her knees, or all three to address me properly.

 _Stop entitling yourself with your fantasy!_ I scolded. I shoved my wand in my bag, whipped out a short roll of parchment and a quill, and got ready.

Professor Umbridge extracted her unusually short wand out of her handbag knitted to look like a bow, and she tapped the chalkboard. The following words appeared:

 _Defense Against the Dark Arts_

 _A Return to Basic Principles_

"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, now hasn't it?" stated Professor Umbridge, turning to face the class with both hands clasped neatly in front of her. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-improved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L. year.

"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We are following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."

She tapped the blackboard again; the first message vanished, and was replaced by:

 _Course Aims:_

 _Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic._

 _Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can be legally used._

Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.

"Has everybody got a copy of _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhard?" Professor Umbridge asked.

I muttered "yes" in a low voice, and there were other sounds mixed in, so no one truly knew what was being said.

"I think we'll try that again," said Professor Umbridge. "When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply 'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge." The class rang out.

"Good." said Professor Umbridge. "I should like you to turn to page five, and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners'. There will be no need to talk."

She sat back down and watched us read. Honestly, that book was dull. I knew half that stuff already. Plus, Inferi are hard to defeat? Hardly. Slash up the pieces with a sword, and you're good to go. Plus fire.

I looked up to see Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of our year, was raising her hand. She refused to read the book.

Finally, Professor Umbridge had to give us what we wanted.

"Yes dear?" She asked.

"I had a query about the course aims." Granger said.

Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows. "And your name is-"

"Hermione Granger." She said.

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully." said Professor Umbridge with a scary-sweet voice.

"Well, I don't. There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells." Granger pointed out.

"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge laughed.

"Yes, we might need to-" Dean Thomas interrupted.

"Hand, Mr.-"

"Thomas, and we might need to use them in real life." Thomas said.

"Are you expecting to get attacked in my classroom?" Professor Umbridge demanded.

"No, but-"

"Hand up, Mr. Thomas."

Thomas's hand shot up in the air, but she pointedly ignored it. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I raised my hand, calmly and coolly.

"Yes, Miss-"

I remembered a time when everyone knew me as Susan the Gentle. _You were just a fake, imaginary queen,_ I reminded myself.

"Pevensie, and I feel Mr. Thomas and Miss Granger have valid points. We aren't expecting an attack in class, we just want to practice, because everything requires practice."

"Know the theory, and that's all you need." Professor Umbridge replied.

"It won't against Voldemort." Harry Potter called out. Everyone took in a sharp breath. I turned around to look at him.

"Ten points from Gryffindor." Professor Umbridge said. "You have been told that a certain Dark Wizard is back from the dead-"

"I saw him, and I fought him!" Potter yelled out.

"Detention, Mr. Potter!"

My thoughts were confirmed. Propaganda had come to Hogwarts.

I stepped into the Divination classroom for the first time. Sweet smoke perfumed the air, and it smelled like the woods of Narnia- _stop that, Susan!_ \- and I sat down alone on a tuffet close to a locked window.

"Welcome for another year of Divination, class." The teacher said. Professor Trelawney, if I heard anything correct. She had honey-blond/brown corkscrew curls, and glasses that enlarged her green eyes. "We have a new student to the class this year."

Everyone looked over at me. Professor Trelawney waddled over to me. "Stand up, dear." She didn't wait for a response, and lifted me up.

As embarrassed as I felt, I pretended that I was still a queen, and that my peers were just my subjects. I smiled cordially, and kept my face clear of any signs or tells of embarrassment. Only warm, fierce, motherly pride.

"This is Susan Pevensie. Hopefully she will have the makings of a seer." Professor Trelawney said kindly. At that, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil glared at me, and yet I refused to shrink. I am a queen.

"Thank-you, Professor. I shall hope for the same." I said. Professor Trelawney then let me sit down.

"Today, class, we will be using the crystal balls to see if we can decipher what is to come from the shapes in the ball." Professor Trelawney said. Some of the students groaned, but Patil and Brown both seemed eager to get to work.

I looked at my own crystal ball. I could see only the pale blue. _This is stupid,_ I thought. The centaurs had done so much better, back in Narnia. _Stop it, stop it!_ Yet it was there again. The pain. Not the one of my siblings being dead, although that certainly wasn't helping matters. It was haunted love.

I tried to swallow my grief back, when I saw _him_ in the crystal ball.

"Caspian!" I clapped a hand over my mouth, realizing I had said it aloud. Everyone in the class looked at me. I shrank in embarrassment.

"Hello there, Queen of my heart." He said. I turned bright pink.

"Caspian, is that you?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Caspian asked.

"I might have fallen asleep in Divination." I suggested shyly. But if it was a dream, I had nothing to be shy about.

"Here, let me try." I heard another familiar voice say.

"Peter?" I cried. Now with Caspian in the crystal ball was an image of Peter. "Peter, are you alright? Where are you?"

"I'm in Aslan's country." He said, his eyes shining brightly again.

"Is that where Aslan took you when you died?" I asked.

"Yes, Edmund, Lucy, Eustace, and Professor Kirk are all here too. We've been watching you, Susan." Peter explained.

I felt tears run down my cheeks, and I knew it wasn't at all a dream.

"Narnia is real."

"It took you long enough, didn't it, Su?" Peter said, with a kind smile.

"It feels good to see you, but-" I gripped the edges of the table. "I don't deserve it."

"What do you mean?" Edmund cut in.

"I'm sorry. For all the things I said, all the times I denied Aslan and Narnia." I said.

"What- Susan, something in your world is making us unable to see or hear you!" Caspian shouted, as the images began to crackle.

"I'm sorry!" I cried, in a last attempt. Then I felt my shoulders being shaken, and saw Professor Trelawney.

"My dear, I'd thought that you'd died. You were so still, and were so hard to snap out of that comatose state." Professor Trelawney said. I blushed. "I can see now, though, that you were having merely a deep vision. What did you see?"

Everyone was staring with interest, some of the disgusted variety of watching someone go mad, like Ron Weasley and Harry Potter, or with reverence of a budding seer, like Patil and Brown.

"I saw my family members who died in train crashes last summer." I said. "I got to talk to them, until the crystal ball got shaken."

Professor Trelawney looked guilty. "By the way, who was Caspian?" She asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You called out his name, before you went into the vision state."

I thought through this carefully. "An old beau who died."

Yet I had known one thing. From now on, I wasn't going to deny Aslan or Narnia. And that meant that I had to try and make things right with Aslan. It wouldn't be easy, but it had to be done.


	4. Aslan's Work

**AN: Thank you to Shadowtalon62 for following this story.**

That night, I was busy with homework. I was starting to think I might need to use the Time-Turner to just _complete_ the homework from so many different classes, but I was determined not to use it for anything other than what was necessary.

As I was looking over my Divination assignment, within a flash, I heard the same song from the night before. I smelled the Narnia air, so clear and beautiful. I heard the wind rustling through the grove of apple trees, and I knew where I was. It had been so long since I'd been back to my true home, Cair Paravel.

* * *

I brushed past the home trees of the dryads, and made my way up the path to the grand marble place that I had once lived in for fifteen years. I didn't care how messy my Hogwarts uniform got, I didn't care how messy my hair got from getting caught in branches again. If what I'd heard was true, this was Aslan's country, where it was Narnia forevermore.

I'd get to embrace my siblings again, tell them how sorry I was for renouncing Narnia and Aslan, and how I should've helped Edmund and Lucy with their transformation, with their banishment from Narnia because of their age.

The doors swung open for me, and I made my way into the ballroom, to see dryads and naiads and fauns dancing, yes, and my siblings as well, and-

Caspian with someone else. Dancing with a woman who looked of pure light, with her white-blond hair and pale skin, with a radiant blue glow surrounding her. There were silvery star-swirled patterns on her white silken gown, and she was easily the most beautiful woman in the room. I turned around, to see Aslan. He was much bigger than I remembered.

"Daughter of Eve, walk with me." He said. I obliged, as we went down to the beach surrounding Cair Paravel.

"You have finally found your way home, Gentle Queen." Aslan said.

"Thanks to my siblings and Caspian finding a way to contact me from your country." I admitted.

"Ah, but I was the one who allowed them to contact you, if it weren't for that particular Daughter of Eve." There was a grumble of a growl under Aslan's voice.

"I am happy to see my siblings, but, Aslan..." I hesitated. It was a selfish wish.

"Speak freely, Daughter of Eve." He commanded.

"I am surprised to see Caspian with someone else." I said. Quite the understatement.

"You are always diplomatic, Gentle Queen." Aslan said.

I stiffened. That didn't sound like a compliment.

"Oh, it was." Aslan reassured me.

We continued our walk down the beach. "But before you can have your wish, there is work for you on Earth, Daughter of Eve.

"There is?" I asked.

"I have communed with the centaurs in that world, and they have foretold an upcoming war being fought by Sons of Adam who believe that certain Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve shouldn't have the use of magic." Aslan explained.

"Don't you control that, in your form on Earth?" I asked.

"Magic does whatever the heck magic wants." Aslan said with what looked like a lion shrug.

"I will do your will and work, Aslan, if it will redeem me in your eyes." I pledged.

"Daughter of Eve, you are already redeemed. I will grant you a gift your eagerness to serve and repair your mistakes. It will help you on your way." He said. "When you wake, it will beside you."

I frowned. "When I wake?"

"Susana!"

I whipped around. Only one person had called me that. Caspian was hurrying towards me on the beach.

* * *

Then, like that, I awoke. I sighed. I'd hoped that it was for real, that time. I scribbled down a safe version for Trelawney's class, and looked over the rest of my homework. When I turned next to me for my bag, I saw my quiver of arrows that regenerates arrows and my bow, given by Father Christmas. I realized that they didn't need these in Aslan's country; they wanted to give them to me.

"Thank you, Aslan." I said, looking up at the ceiling. With that, I gathered my things, and placed the weapons in my trunk. I also realized that Harry Potter was right all along.

* * *

I pretended to be a good little girl in Umbridge's class, even when I found out about her position as the High Inquisitor, going through classes and such.

Her own classes turned out to be useless and boring. So of course I joined Dumbledore's Army! I remember going to the Hog's Head quite clearly. I was ready to show what I had to offer to Harry Potter.

"So, we've come because Professor Umbridge's lessons are rubbish." Potter said.

"Also to hear what happened to Cedric Diggory!" A Hufflepuff called Zacharias Smith called out.

"If you want a description of what it looks like when someone dies, clear out!" Potter shouted.

No one left. "Alright. Well, I think we ought to host a defense club. Secret, obviously. The Ministry is thinking that Dumbledore's recruiting an army, so we won't learn anything." Potter explained.

"So you'll be teaching us spells?" Neville Longbottom asked.

"And other defense techniques." Hermione Granger said.

"Sign me up." I called out.

Everyone looked at me. "I'm good at other ways of dueling, other than spell-casting. I'm good at archery, and decent at swordplay, thanks to my dear brothers, may they be happy with Aslan." I said, pulling on the regal Queen Susan the Gentle act like a change of clothes. It took me a minute to realize that I was happier that way.

"Well, what's an arrow going to do to You-Know-Who, Pevensie?" Smith called out.

"Arrows can shoot wizards who are busy using their wands through the head, without the other person ever getting harmed." I said confidently.

Smith snorted. "If you can do that, then sure, we'll win."

"Shut up." Fred Weasley said, eying me as a Barbie doll. Something I despised, especially in the past.

"Yeah, or we'll stick this in your ear." George Weasley held up a sinister looking instrument.

"Well, I guess we should sign, and we agree to meet next Tuesday?" Potter said.

"Wait, where are we going to hold these?" Luna Lovegood called out.

"This better not conflict with our Quidditch schedule." Angelina Johnson called out.

"Or ours." Smith said.

"We'll inform you... Somehow." Granger promised, handing us a list and a quill. "Sign here."

Under the names 'Luca Caruso' and 'Michael Corner' I signed my own.

"I guess we'll meet later."

* * *

Outside, Fred Weasley caught up to me.

"Hey, Susan Pevensie, right?" He asked.

"Right." I said, eying him warily.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go with me to the Three Broomsticks, sometime." He said, grinning mischievously. Mischief was never a quality I looked for in boyfriends. I looked for serious guys who complemented my own seriousness, and didn't try to make it some horrible things. I liked guys that respected who I was, not my beauty. This guy was none of those things.

 _But Caspian can never be with you,_ I reminded myself. _He married Stargirl and had that kid, Rillian, who Edmund told you about._

"Yes." I said. _Why couldn't I go a little crazy here, to forget my pain?_

"Come on, then!" He said playfully. We ran into the Three Broomsticks, and took bar seats.

"Two firewhiskey rushes, Rosemerta." Fred said to the blonde working the bar, known for her attractive figure and heart-shaped face.

"Coming right up." She said with a flirtatious wink. I personally didn't quite see what was so hot, or attractive, or handsome, or whatever, with Fred and George Weasley. Yeah, they did have long hair, but that was all I really found attractive about them. They had freckled, light skin, and red hair. They were also short and stocky. Their only other slightly attractive feature was their brown eyes, but they weren't a dark enough to be handsome, to me, anyways.

"Pretty girl you brought to the bar, Weasley." A dark-haired boy said, with huge buck teeth, and a rather stupid expression on his face.

"She's all mine, I'm afraid, Flint." Fred said, putting an arm around me.

"You should take off your coat, sugar." Flint continued. I would play the part. I did so, draping it over the back of my seat, and smiled icily at him.

"Here you go. Now pay up, Freddie." Rosemerta said. Fred palmed her the Galleons, and I took my drink.

"To beautiful girls." Fred said, raising his drink.

I smiled, and clinked my glass against his, and began drinking. Let me just skip past the...dishonorable circumstances, to the result. Let's just say that one thing led to another, I was kissing Fred Weasley pretty passionately. In public. Again, no details, but it made me forget everything, just for a little bit.

"Susana?"

I broke away, and looked around wildly. Caspian wasn't in the Three Broomsticks, much to my regret.

"What's wrong, Suzy?" Fred asked.

"I am _not_ Suzy." I said hotly. "I just...don't think this'll work out."

Fred eyed me with even more interest. "Playing hard to get, are you?"

"Okay, I think you've had a bit much to drink."

"Come on, I wanna kiss you again..."

I realized my mistake now, and slung my coat back on. "See you later, Weasley."

"Fancy a pint with me?" Flint asked. I shook my head.

"I must be going." _Lion's Mane, that was close._

I'd just stick to Aslan's work, if I knew what was good for me.


	5. Dumbledore's Army

The next morning, there was a framed announcement with the Ministry seal on the corner. All clubs, organizations, etc, were banned. I knew that someone had told on the meeting the day before.

As soon as I entered the Great Hall, I began to walk over to the Gryffindor table, when Granger motioned to sit down. Most Ravenclaws were worried about things like the Quidditch team, the Dueling Club, Charms Brigade, Ovalmancy Organization. Not important things, like that it meant that the Ministry could take over Hogwarts within no time.

* * *

In Trelawney's class that day, I sat down to the planetary system orbs. I couldn't wait to see if Peter, Edmund, or Lucy visited me today. When I went in, however, I noticed that Professor Umbridge was sitting in the corner of the classroom.

"Today, we'll be stargazing." Professor Trelawney said. Instead of paying attention to the conversation going on between her and Umbridge, I looked into the replica. Instead of showing the planets in the glass orbs, Edmund's face appeared.

"Eddie!" I said joyfully.

"How have you been, Su?" He asked happily.

"Great, just doing Aslan's work." I said.

"You're lucky, still getting to go on real adventures." Edmund said wistfully.

"But you're in Aslan's country!" I replied, not sensing any presences around me.

Edmund wrinkled his nose. "I smell... Snow." His eyes burst wide open. "Great Aslan! She's like Jadis!"

"MISS PEVENSIE!"

Suddenly, Edmund's face was gone. I knew who he had sensed. I looked to see softly glimmering rings on stubby fingers grasping my shoulder.

"Yes, Professor Umbridge?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't you answer me, girl?" She demanded. Professor Trelawney trod up.

"She was in the vision state." Trelawney explained.

"Excuse me?" Umbridge blinked. She looked like a toad trying to lure in flies.

"Susan Pevensie is the best medium between the dead and living I've ever seen in this classroom." Trelawney said, placing an arm around me.

"You do realize that the point of this classroom is to learn how to divine the future, not necromancy, right?" Professor Umbridge asked.

"My dead-" it seemed so hard to say it. "Brothers and sister. They tell me the future, or what's to come for me." I was about to cry, just thinking about it. Only on Divination days was I ever given peace, and my deepest pain was still unhealed.

Professor Umbridge looked at me with fake sympathy. "You poor dear. You must understand, though, that you are not to do it again."

I was about ready to burst into tears. I hadn't realized how dependent I'd become on these classes- but it was better than an addiction to alcohol and drugs, right? Right.

"I understand, Professor." I said, keeping my act together. I was a queen, and I needed to remember that, no matter what.

"Good. Now, Sybil, make me a prediction." Professor Umbridge ordered. The whole class stopped.

"You-you cannot just demand the Inner Eye to see!" Trelawney protested.

"That's too bad." Umbridge said in a sickly sweet voice.

"Wait- I do see grave danger in your future."

I couldn't help it- I rolled my eyes along with the rest of the class.

* * *

In Arithmancy, a few days later, Granger sat next to me. "We're having a meeting on Tuesday." She whispered.

"I take it you found a place?" I whispered back.

"Right by the troll of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls ballet, walk by it three times, thinking of the meeting." Hermione whispered.

"Granger! Pevensie! No talking! A point from Gryffindor, and a point from Ravenclaw!" Professor Vector shouted out. A few people, like Malfoy, smirked at us, but we ignored and managed.

* * *

I brought my bow and arrows with me to the meeting.

"I think first things first, we should elect a leader." Granger said.

"Isn't Harry the leader?" Lovegood called out.

"Still, I think we should elect and make it really official." Granger replied.

The votes did result with Harry Potter.

"I think we should come up with a name." Granger said next.

"The Anti-Umbridge League."

"The Ministry Are Morons Group."

"I was thinking of something that wouldn't give us away." Granger said with a frown.

"How about the Defense Association?" Cho suggested. "We could call it the DA for short, so nobody knows what we're talking about."

"The DA's good. But instead, let's make it stand for Dumbledore's Army," said Ginny Weasley. "Since that's the Ministry's biggest fear."

"Everyone for Dumbledore's Army?" Granger asked. All hands went up, including mine. "Dumbledore's Army it is."

Everyone cheered, until Granger hushed them again. "Here's a Galleon." She passed a bunch out.

"Thanks, Hermione." Ron Weasley said, eying his greedily. I eyed my own sadly. I remembered a time when I owned much more treasure than that.

"It's not any ordinary Galleon." She corrected Ron. "See the number here? Usually, that's the serial number of the goblin who minted it, but for us, it's the date of the next meeting. Harry can change his, and ours will follow with some heat when it happens, because I cast a Protean Charm on them."

"You can cast a Protean Charm?" Terry Boot asked. "With brains like yours, why aren't you in Ravenclaw?"

"The Hat seriously considered it, but I went into Gryffindor in the end." Granger said cheerfully.

"So what are we beginning with?" Longbottom asked.

"Shield Charm." Potter said decisively.

"Shield Charm?" Smith replied disdainfully. "Don't tell us a Shield Charm can defend us against You-Know-Who?"

"It saved my life last June." Potter said seriously. "Get into pairs, and begin working on it."

I got to work with Nigel Wolport, a third-year Gryffindor. We went back and forth until it was time to leave.

* * *

Back in the common room, Cho was weeping.

"What's wrong?" I asked cautiously.

"Is it being disloyal?" She sobbed.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Is it being disloyal to want to date Harry after Cedric died?" Cho asked.

I sat down next to her. "No, it isn't." I said, thinking of Stargirl. _Keep it together, you're here for Cho._

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Completely. Cedric would want you to be happy, Cho." I said softly. I just held her, like I did Lucy when she cried when Aslan died.

"Well, we'd ought to get to bed, Susan." She said, before bouncing up them. I'll admit, it was during times like these when I wished that I had Cho's life instead of my own. Trade in a Hufflepuff champion for the ultimate hero- the Boy Who Lived. Although I knew deep inside that it had to be hard for her, too. But I couldn't help myself.


	6. Detention

After the announcement of the banning of clubs and sports, when we walked into Umbridge's own classroom, she seemed so confident, so pleased with herself. I didn't even bother faking a smile for this teacher, anymore. My normal face these days would do quite nicely, in my opinion.

"Good afternoon, class!" She said just as cheerily as always.

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge." We chorused in monotone.

"Well, now that we've covered chapter one, turn to page nineteen, and read chapter two,' she ordered.

Granger refused to read the book again, and raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Umbridge asked hurriedly, trying to avoid a repeat of the incident on the first day of school.

"I've already read chapter two." She said quietly. I looked at her in admiration. These days, I barely had enough time to tackle _Romeo and Juliet_ for Aunt Alberta. How could she have read two chapters ahead of time?

"Then continue to chapter three." Umbridge said primly.

"Actually, I've read that, and the whole book." Granger responded. My jaw dropped.

"Mouth closed, Pevensie." She said, looking over at me. Umbridge looked back at Granger. "Then I presume you know what Slinkhard says about jinxes and counter-jinxes in chapter fifteen?"

"He says that counter-jinxes are just names given to spells whose creators just want it to sound fancy." Granger recited. "I disagree, however."

The whole class stopped reading.

"Five points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger." said Umbridge coldly. More coldly than Jadis, the way I remembered. "Are you a Ministry official?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then shut up. Slinkhard's opinion is the one that is allowed in this classroom, not yours." Umbridge said. "Some teachers may have given you more license in the past, but you are in a Ministry-approved curriculum designed to correct any misconceptions you may have about subjects you are little-informed in."

I raised my hand immediately to jump to Granger's defense.

"Yes, Miss Pevensie?" Umbridge asked in that sickly-sweet voice.

"That's propaganda, isn't it? What you're describing?" I pointed out. "Not allowing us to have opinions is also the result of a dictatorship."

Everyone stared at me.

"Are you a Ministry official?" Umbridge asked, regaining her composure.

"No, but-"

"You have no right to tell me how to run my classroom!" Umbridge shouted. "Five points from Ravenclaw, and detention tonight, Miss Pevensie!"

Some of the other Ravenclaws glared at me, but Potter and co., cringed upon hearing the detention declaration.

"As I was saying before Miss Pevensie so rudely interrupted-" _What?_ I kept my mouth shut and my expression queenly.

"The only teacher that restrained himself with age-appropriate topics was Quintus Quirrell-" Umbridge continued.

"Yeah, Quirrel was great," interrupted Potter, "except for the fact that he had Voldemort's face on the back of his head!"

"Detention for the next week, Potter!"

* * *

"Have a seat in my office, Miss Pevensie." Professor Umbridge said, with a mad smile. I nodded respectfully, and entered her office. It was too much, all the saccharine crap. Kitten decorations everywhere, plates and photos hanging from the walls, pink wallpaper, everything pink and fluffy, to the point where I wanted to throw up. Even Lucy would've.

I sat in down in one of the pink desks she must've made for the purpose of detention, and began to pull out my quill.

"Put it away, Miss Pevensie. You'll be borrowing one of mine." Umbridge said, in that voice.

Potter took the other desk.

"Mr. Potter, you will write the same that you did last time. Miss Pevensie, you will write 'I must not challenge authority.'"

"How many times do I write it?" I asked.

"As long it takes to sink in." Umbridge replied after a long pause.

I nodded, and she gave me a quill that was a strange reddish black, the color of dried blood, and a long trail of parchment. I was going to ask for ink, but Potter gave me a look that made me think not to ask. I touched the quill to the paper, and wrote _I must not challenge authority_. There was a pain in my hand. _Is it cramping from the homework?_ I might need some special pencil grips or something.

I looked up from the paper, which had bright crimson ink that eerily resembled blood- and I saw the cut on the back of my hand. I must not challenge authority, right on my right hand. I gasped aloud, and Professor Umbridge smirked.

I wasn't going to let her win. I continued to write it, as the cut got deeper... Then I heard the song of a sword becoming unsheathed. I lifted my head and looked around. _Where is that coming from?_

It was followed by another repetition of the sound (doubled), and this time, Umbridge looked up. Out of nowhere, three swords appeared. The first, to my surprise, was Rhindon. It was advancing on Umbridge as if Peter were invisible and were about to exact his revenge on Umbridge, and the other two were Edmund's swords, copying the two-bladed style of the White Witch.

 _Quite fitting against this witch,_ I thought, amused.

The swords advanced on Umbridge, and she gave a little cry of fear. Potter looked up, and he gaped at me. I shook my head, to answer his unasked question. _No, I didn't do this._

Right as all three blades were positioned at what sufficed as Umbridge's neck, Edmund and Peter appeared in their respective Hogwarts uniforms.

"Students are not allowed to have non-magical weapons!" Umbridge protested in a squeaky voice of terror.

"We're not students," Edmund corrected her. "Not anymore, at least."

"Whatever do you mean?" Umbridge asked.

"We're Susan Pevensie's brothers." Peter said, with a confident smirk on his face. "We died last summer."

"How are you here?" She stammered.

"We don't like people hurting our sister." Edmund and Peter chorused menacingly.

"But she challenged the authority of the Ministry!" Umbridge protested.

"As she should, when it's being corrupt." Edmund said seriously.

"We Pevensies studied government for years- trust me, Susan knows what she's saying." Peter advised.

"Fine, no more detention!" Umbridge shouted.

I stood up, as Edmund and Peter began to fade a little. "Ed! Pete! Don't leave me!" I begged.

"We're always with you, Su." Peter said, smiling sadly.

"Yeah, keep up the good work, and Aslan might send one of us to help!" Ed said, smiling widely, as he had after Lucy had cured him when he fought the White Witch. Before he'd gone into Slytherin and had been turned into someone horrible by that Malfoy prat. When he'd reunited with Lucy, and rekindled their friendship.

"I promise, I'll join you, someday!" I cried out, as they vanished completely.

Potter looked just as shaken as Umbridge.

"I didn't know that your brothers could fence." Potter said.

"It's not flynning or fencing." I corrected him coldly. "It's swordplay."

"Well, still it is quite cool." Potter said with a grin.

"Back to your lines, Potter!" Umbridge shouted, regaining her nerve. She then walked up to me, until our faces were inches away. "And _you_!" She grabbed my shirt, pulling me closer. "You try a necromancy trick like that again, and mark my words, I _will_ have you expelled."

"I-I didn't summon them." I gasped. "It was Aslan."

"I've read a lot on your files, Pevensie," Umbridge growled. "I know about you and your siblings' little childish games about talking lions and another world. It was thought that you, though, had grown up and knew better!"

"Aslan is real." I protested stubbornly. Then I saw the situation at hand. "Now _let go_." When she refused, I kicked her in the shin, and she gasped, releasing my shirt. I grabbed my bag and things.

"Now if you'll excuse me," I said, moving quickly. "I have to go."

"But you can't just-"

"Tut, tut. Unless you want Peter and Edmund to come back, or Heaven forbid Lucy," said I coldly. "I suggest you let me leave."

With that, I slammed the door to her office, and used the Time-Turner to catch up on an hour that could have been spent on homework.

* * *

Time was passing, and a war was coming. Only a fool couldn't see that. Unfortunately, the Minister of Magic was a fool. I knew I would be doing the services I promised Aslan all too soon.


	7. Life Goes On

I stood with everyone in the frigid cold, waiting for this new lesson. Rumor had it that Professor Hagrid was back, and Umbridge had to inspect his own lessons. I was rather looking forward to it.

"Hey, Pevensie!" Blaise Zabini called. "How about you take me for a spin out at the Three Broomsticks this weekend?"

I didn't hesitate for one second. "Sure." I even threw in a somewhat suggestive shrug. I smiled behind the glamour of makeup, and flipped my curled dark hair over the shoulders of my clean robes.

"Hello, there, we'll be goin' in to ter woods today." Hagrid said, when he showed up. He led us to a little clearing, where I could hear rustling. Raw meat stank up the clearing, turning the pristine snow bloody red, like it did the day that the White Witch was defeated forever.

"We're goin' ter learn about thestrals today." Hagrid explained. The skeletal horses that I'd been seeing on and off appeared out of the woods. I reached a hand out to touch one

 _Are they real this time?_

My hand made contact with the thin charcoal-colored fur over the skeletal skull of the horse.

"What are we seeing?" Malfoy demanded.

"Jus' wait a minute." Hagrid said with a friendly smile.

"Ooh!" Lavender Brown squealed. I imagined it had to be creepy, watching the meat some of the thestrals were eating turn into nothing and just...vanish.

"Alrigh', does anyone know why mos' o yeh can' see them?" Hagrid asked. Granger shot her hand into the air like a rocket.

"They can only be seen someone who's seen someone die." She said, rather dramatically for her, I might add.

"Very good. Five points to Gryffindor." Hagrid said approvingly. "Now who here can see them?"

My hand shot up, along with Neville Longbottom's and Harry Potter's, and Theodore Nott's. _So much death, so young._ The truth was, I caused a lot of the deaths I witnessed, in the Battle of Beruna, and in the battle against the Telmarines.

"I knew you would, Harry." Hagrid said, eying him sympathetically.

"Don't you know that thestrals are classified as dangerous by the Ministry!" Umbridge called out. I jumped and spun around, to see her grinning like the awful toad she was.

"I'm going to walk.." She pantomimed walking. "To ask questions." She made her hand flap. She immediately walked over to the Slytherins, and was trying to get deliberate bad answers, I knew it. That wasn't the way to run things.

* * *

"Today, we'll be studying the possibilities of finding other dimensions," said Professor Calloway eagerly.

Malfoy rolled his eyes, and raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?" Calloway asked.

"Isn't it widely disbelieved, though?" Malfoy asked, the picture of innocence. "I 'mean, the idea of there being other dimensions and realms is quite unrealistic- just like muggles believing that there's little green men on Mars."

"Well," Calloway hesitated for a moment. "It's still good to know the theories behind it, currently."

I perked up. _Could this be a way back into Narnia?_ I knew I had to try. I copied down all the notes and diagrams furiously, so furiously, in fact, that Malfoy commented on it outside of class.

"You've got ink on your nose, Pevensie!" Malfoy called out as I hurried out of the classroom. "Are you trying to find some dimension where your little games are real?"

I continued on. _Ignore it, ignore it._

"Isn't that what got your siblings killed, though?" Malfoy continued. "Pretending their train would take them to their little happy realm?"

 _Ignoreit. Igonreit. IGNORE HIM._

I was already crying, I'm ashamed to say. By the time I got to the Ravenclaw Common Room, I was a mess, and there was a huge line.

"Excuse me." I said, and I went up to the eagle knocker.

 _"What drowns, but relieves as time goes on? What sinks into your bones and poisons your sanity?"_

I didn't even need to think twice. "It's grief." I answered. The door swung open. I looked back at the crowd. "Seriously?" I asked, especially to Cho Chang, who claimed her life had fallen apart- when she hadn't had a clue as to what it truly felt like for your world to come crashing down, for everyone you loved to move on and/or die.

* * *

Potter was teaching everyone pretty well, but I had an idea for my own lesson plan. I discussed it in the DA room.

"I've noticed that we're having some aiming issues." I noted.

"Yeah, but most of wizard-kind can't aim completely." Potter returned.

"If we want to be better at fighting Death Eaters," I continued, "it's logical that we should work on aim." I looked him in those brilliant green eyes, behind the dull, round, John Lennon glasses.

"Are you going where I think you are?" Potter asked me curiously.

"If the answer is archery, then yes." I replied curtly.

Potter shrugged. "If you think it can help."

* * *

I dated Zabini for the rest of the term. He often paraded me around, under my makeup glamour, my hair curled and magically shining, due to hair potions. I made sure that I looked modestly desirable- an in-between for my queenly, regal self that obeyed my aunt in not getting into trouble, and the reckless, emotional part of me that wanted to forget that I was a queen, that I loved someone, and he moved on and died, and that my siblings were all with Aslan.

We often drank at the Three Broomsticks, and made out in corners all around the school, before Umbridge could interrupt us and use the Flipback Hex to push us apart, whenever she gave her prideful marches around the school, inspecting the condition and conduct of her pupils.

Yet there was always something empty within that. I was always reminded, by the expensive perfumes and colognes, and the short, black curls, that this wasn't my love. The King of my Heart, despite what Zabini wanted to believe, wasn't him. He was just an object of lust and infatuation to me, pretty much. Just a tool to amnesia.

* * *

I brought my bow into the DA room, with the quiver of arrows over my shoulder. Everyone watched me as I paraded to the center of the room, to stand by Potter.

"Today, we're deviating from our course." Potter said. "Susan Pevensie will be giving a lesson. Hit it, Susan!"

I stepped forwards. "Today, we'll be working on archery."

"That's not magical!" Smith called out.

"As I was about to say before you so rudely interrupted," I continued. "Archery requires aim. Something that there could be a bit more of in this room."

There were some chuckles at that.

"Grab a bow and a set of arrows off the rack that just materialized." I said. I drew an arrow of my own, and strung my bow.

"Get ready to take aim." I ordered. Death Eater dummies appeared. "FIRE!" I let my own fly, and let it hit the target, right dab in the middle. Other arrows were all over the bodies, but mostly in places where it wouldn't kill them in this advanced time and age.

"We've got a lot of work to do." I muttered, before demonstrating again how to hit a target.

* * *

"Y'know, I wonder why you're such an ice witch." Zabini drawled, half-drunk from the stuff he bought. I was a bit tipsy, but not much. And not nearly as much as he was.

I stiffened, thinking of the White Witch. "Does it matter?"

"Not really, as long as you look pretty on my arm tonight." Zabini said, laughing.

I looked down at my pale legs in black nylons. _I used to be so strong,_ I thought. _And now all I am is an empty shell..._ I sat up straight.

"I've got to go, Blaise." I said, and I placed my flats back on, and grabbed my blazer, and began walking to the Ravenclaw common room, where I could study my notes on the theory of alternate dimensions.

* * *

"You know, they are aiming so much better." Granger remarked to me during one DA lesson.

"Thanks." I said. I was surprised at how hollow my voice still sounded.

"By the way," she said carefully, as if I were glass that would shatter if breathed upon. "How are you? In terms of moving on, that is."

I considered her words for a moment. "Life goes on." I said with a shrug. "I don't know how, some days, but it does."


	8. Merry Christmas to the DA

Tensions were almost gone in the holiday time, except for me. I had to go back home and face Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold, who only had learned about magic the day that Mother and Father had died, and they became my guardians.

I went to the DA meeting before Christmas. There was Harry Potter styled decorations everywhere, and mistletoe hung from the ceiling.

"Dobby the house-elf decorated." Potter explained bashfully. I nodded coldly. Mm-hm. Right.

We mostly just discussed what we were doing over break, and how we would learn the Patronus Charm after holidays. Neville Longbottom seemed particularly excited about this aspect of next term.

Later, in the common room, that night, I couldn't help but just sit in the corner and attempt my theory on how to force a portal to Narnia. That was simple enough, in my opinion. The pansies at the Ministry were afraid to try, even though the theory isn't all that risky- not really, anyway. Then again, that was speaking from the view of the queen of another realm, who knew what was on the other side.

Cho came and sat down next to me. I ignored her for a couple minutes, as I calculated the turns I'd need to turn back to when I could travel to Narnia, then back to Earth, and save my siblings from their untimely deaths.

"I kissed him." Cho said finally. I looked up. She flipped her sleek black hair over her shoulder, like a black swan.

"Harry Potter?" I asked incredulously. How does she move on so quickly?

"Yes," Cho said, wiping her eyes again. "Who else have I liked all term?"

I had nothing to say to that. Finally, I regained my composure, shoved my noted into the neat little binder that they called home, crossed my legs like a lady, folded my hands in my lap, and paid attention to my friend for once.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I started crying." Cho confessed, looking down at her shoes.

"Oh, honey, you didn't." I said softly. I put my arms around her as she sobbed on my shoulder.

"Why is everything so confusing?" She whimpered. "I liked Cedric a lot last year, but I also liked Harry, even then, but now that Cedric's dead, I don't know if he'd approve or not, or-"

"Cho." I pushed her a bit away, holding her firmly by her shoulders. "Cedric would want you to be happy."

"You think so?" She sniffled, and she blew her nose on her handkerchief. _It's the same one as the one I gave her,_ I realized with a shock. _My grief isn't any less or more than hers. I've been unfair to judge._

"Absolutely." I said reassuringly. I put an arm around her again, and let her cry it all out.

A tempest raged outside, that night. Most of the other girls fell asleep fairly quickly, but I couldn't sleep. I was wearing one of Peter's old t-shirts again, and I cradled the stuffed dog I'd gotten Lucy when she was three, and I was seven. A reminder of how much we'd been through together.

* * *

 _The horrible day where we fought to get to the Stone Table, to reclaim Edmund as our own. Thunder claps, and flashes of blue-white lightning nearly strike us. I clutch Lucy as close to me as possible, while still trying to have my bow and arrows ready to defend us against the wicked wolves of the White Witch she had told us about. Peter is paranoid with his sword, looking left and right for anything evil he may have to protect Lucy from._

 _We come across the White Witch and a dwarf with Edmund. His collar is pulled back, and her wand has turned into an axe. A cry of warning, a cry to get Edmund to fight, is choked in my throat. Even a scream of fear, of pain, and of impending loss can't fight the barricade in my throat._

 _It's only after I see my youngest brother decapitated that I start screaming. Hysteric screams, his named blended together into one sound- "EdmundEdmundEdmundEdmund! Edmund!"_

 _Guilt also washes over me._ Maybe, if I understood him better, would he not have gone over to the Witch's side? _I won't know for sure, and I don't have time to think that future through. The White Witch was alerted by my cry, and she and the dwarf and her wolves are coming for us. Peter uses his sword to stab the ice, and it begins to drift downstream- a bit too late._

 _One of the wolves- Malcolm, was it?- jumps onto the ice with us, and he tips it, making the ice slicker and slicker-_

 _Peter tumbles into the chilly water, and his sword is an inch away from his reach. But slaying Malcolm is the least of his problems. Peter claws the ice desperately, and I want to help, but I'm busy trying to dart away from Malcolm, and keep Lucy safe. My hands shake badly as I hold the bow, and I aim for Malcolm's heart, but something keeps me from releasing the arrow._

What's wrong with me? I should want to kill this beast that's endangering my family. _But I can't, for some supernatural force. That, or my own paralyzing fear._

 _"Su! Su!" Peter screams. Ice is already starting to form over his dark hair, frost on his face. Frantic breaths reveal themselves in the air, making puff-clouds much like smoke-rings._

 _"Any last words?" Malcolm snarls._

 _"Die!" Peter snarls in return, and he tries a heavy reach for the sword that Father Christmas gave him, but the wolf catches him with his razor sharp claws, and rakes his hands obsessively. Blood spatters onto the ice, and Peter sinks below the ice, and the sword still follows._

 _"Who's next?" Malcolm says cruelly. "How about the little girl?" Lucy squeals, and the wolf bites her in the neck within a minute, despite how hard I fought. I searched her coat for her cordial, but I can't find it. Where's the cordial?_

 _I search, panicked, but then blood spills onto the white, dying it red, and I know what has happened. I eye the wolf with a deathly glare. "Now bite my sword, now carve my arrow, now die my enemy! Victory for Aslan!" I chanted. The wolf however, jumped to shore, leaving my means of revenge._

 _I hear another thunderclap, and a roar. I turn to see a waterfall, and I fall, and the icy water surrounds me, and-_

* * *

I awoke, barely realizing that I'd been asleep, and now I was all wet. The other girls in my dormitory stood over me ominously. I sat up, and became very aware of the fact that I was sleeping with Lucy's stuffed dog and they all saw it. I tossed it into my carpetbag quickly, and sat up. I made to get out of bed, when Padma put a hand on my shoulder, forcing me against the crafted golden headboard.

"You scream in your sleep." Sue Li said, with a bit of a glare.

"I'm sorry." I said quite sincerely.

"What is up with you, lately?" Mandy asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. Nothing's that out of the ordinary.

"You're always studying." Isobel said.

"So?" I asked. "Ravenclaws are supposed to study."

Isobel rolled her eyes. "But _you_ don't. You're usually out flirting- not that you _aren't_ doing that nowadays."

"People change." I said nonchalantly, and I slipped out of the bed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my blanket and sheets to the laundry basket, and grab fresh ones." I said.

Everyone reluctantly went back to beck and I quietly took off the sheets, pillowcases, and the eiderdown. I grabbed them all, and strode down the cold marble-floored hallway to the utilities of the girls' dorms, and shoved all my soaked bedclothes into the laundry-basket. For a moment, the water looked a reddish-black in the moonlight. The world tilted, and I forced myself to sit down.

" _Just because everything's changing doesn't mean that it's never been this way before._ " A male voice sang. The same as the very first night of school. I didn't even bother to source the voice, and it grew louder. I just sat there, going into a stupor because of the song.

"It's going to be alright, Susana." Caspian's voice whispered in my ear. I could practically feel his hand on my shoulder, but there was nothing.

"Caspian?" I asked. Nothing. The song even stopped. I stood, and grabbed some sheets and a blanket that would make do for one night, and I went back to bed, blessed with a painless sleep.

* * *

"Harry Potter and the Weasleys left in the middle of the night." Cho told me as I strode into the common room the next morning.

"Really?" I asked. "Where did you hear that?"

"I went down early for breakfast," said Cho. "And she was ranting to Filch quite angrily about how 'that Potter slipped right under her nose'."

"Wow." I muttered. _Umbridge really_ is _crazy._

At the Great Hall, there was merry chatter about Christmas holidays and how everything was quite wonderful and happy and how they'd be reunited with their beloved families. It was a bit depressing for me, to be honest. I mostly just spun my fork around, and took only a few toast slices, since I had a feeling that it was all I was going to be able to stomach.

After I'd given up on eating in general, I walked back up to the dormitories, and began packing up my things. I'd knitted a sweater for Aunt Alberta, and a scarf for Uncle Harold, and I'd be giving them those for Christmas. I placed the moving photographs on the top in my trunk, wrapped delicately in the house scarves my siblings had, and a few of my own.

I pulled my trunk and carpetbag out to the common room, where Cho stopped me, holding a wrapped parcel. "I got something for you." She said brightly. "Promise me that you'll open it on Christmas morning?"

"I promise." I said, taking the parcel and putting it in my carpetbag. I pulled out a parcel of my own that I had marked for Cho. "This is for you."

"For me?" Cho asked. She burst into tears, and hugged me. "Thanks, for being such a good friend to me, this year. You and Marietta still hang around me, and you've stuck by me, no matter what."

"I just know what grief looks and feels like." I said with a shrug.

"I haven't been so good to you about your own losses," Cho admitted.

"It's alright, Cho." I said, trying to comfort her.

"No, it's not." She insisted. "I've at least had friends and family to help me with my own loss, but I'll move on in time. You have no one, and I don't see how anyone could move on entirely from that."

"Life goes on." I said simply.

"Well, Merry Christmas, Susan." Cho said, before she blew her nose into her handkerchief.


	9. Inigo Montaya

"Susan!" Aunt Alberta called. She was waiting on the other side of the barrier. I pushed my trolley forwards, my carpetbag on my arm.

"Hello, Aunt Alberta." I said.

"Come on, I've got the car parked outside." She said, ushering me out to the parking lot. I sat down in the shotgun seat, and sighed. Aunt Alberta turned up the radio. It was all grunge stuff, like Pearl Jam and Nirvana, things like that. The music was the only thing eating up the silence, for me, anyway.

* * *

"Susan! Come down here!" Uncle Harold called. I'd resided in my room most of the break, and had been studying notes. It was Christmas Eve, and although my aunt and uncle didn't believe in Christianity, they did celebrate it as a sort of political holiday, mostly because a great deal of their business associates celebrated Christmas, so they did- sort of. There was no tree or stockings, but they did hang a wreath on their front door, and we would give presents.

I put down my pen, and draped my fur coat on my arm. I descended down the narrow set of stairs, to see one of the neighbors with Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold. One, the boy about my age, was staring at me.

I blushed, grateful for my makeup glamour that hid the flush of color to my painted rosy cheeks. Eric was my "summer boyfriend" that lived nearby my aunt and uncle. He often enjoyed taking me to a little cafe down the street, or for a stroll in the public rose gardens. I often enjoyed his company for the same reason that I enjoyed Blaise Zabini's- it took the pain away from the hole in my heart- at first from missing Caspian, then from being forced to give up on Caspian, then Caspian dying, and then my siblings dying.

"Hey, Eric." I said. _Did you really say something so stupid?_

"Hey, Susan." He said, and hugged me. "I meant to get something for your birthday back in October, but your aunt and uncle said that I couldn't send mail to you there." Eric then handed me a small parcel.

I looked up. "Thanks." I said.

"Open it." Eric insisted. I nodded, and tugged off the wrapping paper, to reveal a jewelry box. _Oh._ I had a million little pieces of jewelry given by boyfriends. I opened the case, to reveal a nice pair of holly-shaped earrings.

"I thought the red might stand out in that dark hair of yours." He said, brushing a strand behind my ear.

"Thanks again, Eric. I'm going to put these in my room, and then I'll be right back down." I promised. I hiked up the stairs, hung up my coat, and put away the earrings in my rather large jewelry box, and closed the door as I exited.

Downstairs, some little neighbor kids were looking at the VCR tapes.

"We'll be watching a family movie together," Uncle Harold explained.

The adults smiled affectionately and indulgently at the little children, as they bickered over which movie was better. Eric finally was forced to intervene.

"What about..." He looked over the shelves, and picked up a cassette box. "... _The Princess Bride_?"

The little kids began squealing for him to put it in. After it had been re-wound, and everyone was all settled, the movie began. It had been a few years for me since I'd seen it. I hugged close to Eric, seeing how much Wesley and Buttercup loved each other. When Inigo Montaya came onscreen though, I began to cry, much to my dismay.

"Excuse me a moment." I said, and I fled outside. Snow drifted down onto the lawns everywhere in the suburbs outside of London. I sat down on the porch steps, watching the snow fall, as I thought about what had triggered the tears.

 _For one thing, the accent's the same,_ I rationalized. _For two things, he also had a father who was killed by a member of the nobility, and is somewhat of a good swordsman. I mean, he couldn't beat Peter, but no one beats High King Peter in a sword fight._

I knew in that moment, that just like Buttercup, my Wesley was gone. _I won't have a happy ending like her, though, I remembered. My life isn't a fairytale._

 _But then what is?_ I reasoned. _Wouldn't I have said the same thing about four kids beating a witch and returning a prince to power and meeting a lion who could talk?_

"Are you alright?" I looked up to see Aunt Alberta standing over me. I made no reply. "May I sit down then, at least?" I nodded. She sat down, and nothing was said for a few moments.

"I noticed how upset you got." She remarked.

"It was something stupid." I said, looking at my black dress shoes.

"No, it wasn't. The movie reminded you of your game with Peter, Edmund, and Lucy, didn't it?" Aunt Alberta asserted.

I stared for a second. _It's the perfect cover-up, Susan. Go with it,_ I chided myself. "Yeah." I lied. "Buttercup reminded me of Lucy. And Inigo Montaya reminded me of Peter. He always did like swordplay."

"I know it's hard, but try to enjoy the memories." Aunt Alberta said, placing a hand on my knee. "I know that they can be painful, but remembering them is the closest you can get to having them alive again."

I clutched my Time-Turner's chain awkwardly. I did have the means. All I had to do was finish calculating the risks of taking the leap in the space-time continuum, and the possible effects, and I would have my siblings back again.

"I guess." I said. _She lost her son, for Merlin's sake, Susan! Maybe you should try something to get Eustace back, I thought._

"What if there was a way?" I asked.

"Eh?"

"What if there was a way to get them all back?"

Aunt Alberta hesitated for a moment, thinking over what I had said. "I don't truly know, but I would want them to decide."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Don't you think they'd want to live?"

"As young as they were," said she. "I think that something happened to Eustace that made it so it was growing harder to function as a normal child and live in this world. Lucy and Edmund were almost just as bad."

I nodded. _Lucy couldn't handle it, becoming a little girl after being a queen. Neither could Edmund, being the king and then being the Slytherin, the outcast, the one despised because of his House. Peter never truly adjusted, either. He always got into fights and everything, because he couldn't handle being a boy instead of the High King._

"I'm saying, if you're going to use-" Aunt Alberta hesitated over the word she still had yet to believe in. "Then be careful, and choose carefully. They might not have wanted it."

I nodded, and I looked out at the darkening skies. "Shall we go inside, then?" She asked. I nodded, and followed her inside. Eric didn't ask any questions, as I snuggled into his chest for the rest of the movie.

* * *

Light shined through the lacy curtains Christmas morning. I slipped on the lavender bathrobe, and sat at my desk, staring at the snow. I clicked my pen, and began a letter:

 _Dear Lucy, Edmund, and Peter,_

 _I miss you so much. I don't know how much time has passed in Aslan's country, but here, on Earth, it's Christmas. Lucy, I remember that this used to be your favorite holiday. I was always more of an Easter girl, but boy, did you love Christmas. I remember when you'd jump on the end of my bed, singing 'Joy to the World' at the top of your lungs practically every Christmas morning since you were four, and nearly giving me a heart attack when you did it._

 _Edmund, I remember how you always were into delivering the gifts, so much that you practically hyperventilated when we finally released you to do it. You always could guess what present was coming, even though Mother and Father hated you for it. Oh, and I remember the Christmas when you were six, and Lucy was five, and you tried to tell her the truth about Father Christmas- the joke was on you in the end, though._

 _Peter, I remember how you always loved looking for Christmas trees. You were absolutely zealous when we went to the Christmas tree farms here in England. Do you remember the Christmas, when you were eleven, and we practically stayed up until midnight looking for just the right tree? Father just about gave up, and was going to pick up that one that you absolutely despised, but then you found just the right one._

 _I know I wrote this already, but I miss you so much. It's just not the same, having Christmas without you here, especially you, Lucy, chattering on about Aslan, and how you wondered if he was born this day in Narnia. According to what Peter told me of the Friends of Narnia suppers, I highly doubt that._

 _Why did you have to go? Why did you have to get on that train? I constantly think of you. Of how Peter would've fought for Neville Longbottom today, of how Edmund would've laughed at Luna Lovegood's antics so hard, how Lucy would be absolutely crazy around Draco Malfoy. How you all would despise Umbridge so- though I know you, Peter, and you, Edmund, definitely hate her, and the feeling is mutual- and how all of you would be in Dumbledore's Army with me, and how we'd be teaching them how to fight without stupid wands._

 _I wish you could see this, but I know you probably can't. So I guess I'll store this in my jewelry box until kingdom come._

 _Love,_

 _Susan_

I clicked the pen, and rolled the letter up, and opened the jewelry box on my desk. I selected a brass ring with a plain green-black stone, and slipped the end awkwardly through it. I then put it in my desk drawer, on top of love-letters from beaus in America, beaus at Hogwarts, and the occasional beau here.

My cerulean eyes then came across the package that Cho gave me. I picked it up, untied the little silvery ribbon, and undid the starry blue paper. Inside was a book with a unicorn on the front of it. I opened it, and on it, in Cho's small, cramped handwriting:

 _To Susan,_

 _Even if I'm not much help with you sorting out your feelings about your losses, I still want to help. I may not be the most sympathetic friend, but I do still feel that you should have a place to go to with your feelings in this matter. So here's a diary- make it your best friend._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Cho_

I smiled at the thoughtfulness, when a horn honked. I looked out to see Eric in a convertible with some neighbors (Robert and Helena, if I remembered correctly), all in fur costs, with the top down. I put on my own fur coat, and strong boots, and scribbled a note to my aunt and uncle, then flew outside.

"This is a stupid idea, you know." I said, as I slid next to Eric in the shotgun.

"That's what makes it fun, I promise!" He said eagerly, like a puppy.

"Let her rip!" Robert shouted.

"Woo!" Helena shouted, throwing her hands up into the air. Eric took off at top speed, and my nose was loosing feeling, and I just lost myself in the stupid fun of it all. _After all,_ my conscience argued, _don't you deserve a break?_

Eric had us drifting in abandoned grocery store parking lots, nearly crashing into lampposts, and screaming all the while.

"Merry Christmas, love." Eric said, and he kissed me, before I got out at my house. Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold stood there quite expectantly.

"Merry Christmas." I said. Their expressions of anger and worry melted altogether.

"Merry Christmas, Susan." They chorused.

* * *

I tucked my necklace from Blaise in my jewelry box, and hung the shawl Aunt Alberta gave me on my hat-stand, and placed the book on managing grief from Uncle Harold on the built-in bookshelf. I sat on the bed, and hugged my bathrobe tighter around me. It still wasn't all right.

 _No matter how hard you try,_ I thought, _you just can't move on. Not from something like this. These wounds just won't heal- the pain is much too real for that to happen._ I tied my robe, and hugged my pillow to my chest, and buried my face in it. The house was quiet, except for sobs, it seemed.

I don't know how much time passed, but when I looked up again, I looked straight at the painting that had a model that looked quite Narnian. _This is the picture of the Dawn Treader. Where Caspian met Stargirl, and got hitched._

I burst into renewed sobbing again. I felt like the grief would just choke me that day. It closed around my throat, cutting off oxygen needed to really live again. _That's just it. You're still alive, but you aren't living. You aren't going to_ live _again._

I got a grip on my sobs, and wiped it all away. I began to set my pillow back where it was, when I saw a note. _Where did that come from?_ I shrugged. _Guess I didn't notice it before._

I picked if up, and saw in Caspian's neat, curly handwriting:

 _Hello, my name is Prince Caspian X. You killed my father. Prepare to die._

I jumped up, and pulled the note, and whipped right to the breakfast nook, where my aunt and uncle were having coffee, and shoved the note towards them moodily.

"Which one of you wrote this?" I snarled.

Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold inspected it. _As if they hadn't seen it before! Pah!_ They slowly raised their heads.

"Susan, we didn't write this." Uncle Harold said slowly.

"Fine. Lie to me!" I shouted, and I snatched back the note, and stormed up the stairs, and slammed the door. I turned on the radio, to hear Christmas carols. I was about to toss the note in the trash, when I saw the other side.

 _I'm coming._


	10. Return of the Prince

Silence was my refuge after the noisy Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters. I sat alone in a compartment, reading the book Uncle Harold gave me, and seeing what was absolutely possible in the getting-over-it part of the whole thing.

I didn't notice things I probably should have, or else I wouldn't have been so surprised at what was about to come. Blaise gave me a kiss on the cheek when he saw me in the Great Hall. I returned one, and went to bed straight after the Great Hall. I didn't even bother changing, I just pretty much dropped dead right there.

The next morning, I ate a bit more than I had over the holidays, and paraded into History of Magic. Afterwards was when the trouble began.

"Is that Susan Pevensie?" A male voice that sounded terribly familiar asked.

"Yeah. She's the hottest girl in Ravenclaw. Not much of a brain, though." Anthony Goldstein shot back eagerly.

 _Is that all they think of me?_ I wondered. _Just a vixen, a pretty little plaything?_ My heart sank. _They're right. That's all that's left of me- what I pretend to be- a useless woman who plays everyone like a harp._

I felt tears sting my tear ducts, yet again this year, and began to hurry up the steps to Charms. I was three steps from the front door, when Lisa ran up to me, and tugged on my sleeve.

"Susan, come quickly!" She cried.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"There's been a fight, between the Slytherins, and this new Gryffindor kid." Lisa explained. I began to hurry along the corridors to the staircase.

"New kid?" I asked. That's unusual.

"He transferred from Beauxbatons." Lisa added.

"Curiouser and curiouser." I said, practically running now. "Why are you coming to me for this?" I shouted, over crowd turmoil as we got closer.

"You're pretty, and they're all boys." Lisa said bashfully. I rolled my eyes, and slowed to a walk going down a staircase. Right in the center of it all, there were prefects exchanging bets, and there was a brawl between an obvious Gryffindor, Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle. Anthony Goldstein was standing to the side nervously, taking it all in. The crowd chanted, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

 _Those boys are going to kill that idiot_ , I realized. _They're fighting with muggle techniques._

I knew what I had to do. I leapt from the staircase I was on to the one going to the fight right below me. I then regally stood tall and proud, and descended the staircase with such coolness and purpose that everyone let me by. I was Queen Susan now, and there was no denying the Queen of Narnia.

I aimed my wand, and spoke clearly and calmly. " _Releashio. Releashio. Releashio. Releashio._ " One by one, their hands flew away from the new guy. Zabini attempted a kick at the Gryffindor Idiot's stomach, as he was still lying on the ground, his back to me.

" _Flipendo_." I said calmly. He went flying backwards.

"What is this?" Umbridge asked, waddling forwards. I put my wand back in my bag, and sighed.

"I just broke up a fight." I said.

"What was it about?" Umbridge asked sweetly.

I shrugged. "I have to get to Charms."

"Fine." Umbridge's eyes revealed the anger of someone who had let an enemy get away.

* * *

In Potions, Blaise sat next to me. "What did you beat up the new kid for?" I asked.

"He was talking about how pretty you were," Blaise said simply.

I raised my eyebrows. "Why is that a crime punishable by death?"

"Neither of us should be distracted by other people." Blaise said. I thought carefully through this. This was the time to never go back.

"Blaise..." I bit my lip. "I never really liked you. You were just someone I used to move on. We needed to break up sometime. Today's the day." I then unclipped the star-necklace, and gave it back to him.

"That's alright." Blaise said disdainfully. "I should've known that you're no better than the rest of your filthy kind."

The new Gryffindor kid, looked back at us. I bit back a scream. I was staring into the face of a ghost.

I looked down at my notes, desperately hoping that I was just hallucinating. It _couldn't_ be real. _It's just not possible._

* * *

"I was wondering if you would show me to the... Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom?" A voice that I knew all to well asked. I was afraid to look up. I was afraid that I might get too much hope with what I would see.

"Couldn't the people in your house do that?" I asked.

"I wanted an excuse to ask you if you were okay, Susana."

I looked up, into those dark eyes, that handsome tanned face framed perfectly by dark hair. I felt alright for the first time in a long time. I felt like genuinely smiling.

"Why are you back?" I whispered.

"Aslan said you wanted help. Your siblings insisted that I go, since everyone knew of your dead siblings, and someone knew your brothers." Caspian explained.

"Oh, Umbridge. You'll meet her in a moment." I said. He looked confused. "My brothers stuck up for me during detention."

"Detention-" Caspian then got a good look at a slowly fading scar that was now white- _I must not challenge authority_. "Is this normal for this detention?"

I shook my head. "It's usually writing lines, or helping clean, something domestic like that."

"By the way, congratulations on your breakup." Caspian added.

I chuckled. "Most girls here would kill to have Blaise Zabini fight for them."

"I think you're better off without him." I glanced up again.

"So, did Aslan give you the rundown, or is that my job?" I asked.

"No, all he said was 'Do you want to see the land where the Great Kings and Queens came from again?' and I said, 'yes.'" He explained.

"Wait- again?" I asked.

"Didn't Eustace tell you about that?" He asked.

"I didn't keep up much in the past two-three years." I admitted. "Really, all Peter cared to tell me was that you had a son with the star that Edmund told me about." _Shut up, Susan! So stupid!_

"Okay, I'll give you a crash course before we get into Umbridge's class," I said, gathering my thoughts together, like I would my hair in a ponytail. "She is from the Ministry. She is also the Head Inquisitor, which means she is trying to get Dumbledore out. The Ministry doesn't like Dumbledore because he believes You-Know-Who is back."

"Sorry, I don't know who." Caspian said.

 _Damn it, Aslan._ "It's how we refer to an evil wizard who tried to take over in the seventies, who tried to kill little Harry Potter, failed somehow, and was dead- of so we thought-for a while. Then there was this run in last year in the Triwizard Tournament, and Potter claimed that You-Know-Who was back from the dead. The Ministry doesn't want mayhem and panic like there was last time, but Dumbledore, who's the smartest wizard alive, is backing it up, so that means it must be true." I took a breath.

"So...shut up in Umbridge's class?" He asked.

"Yeah, and I'll give you further explanation afterwards." I whispered as we entered the last trickle into the classroom. The front seats, the ones most hated, were open. I sat next to Caspian, and looked up at Umbridge, who had a distasteful expression on her face, particularly at him.

"Class, we have a transfer student from Beauxbatons." Umbridge began, in her sickly sweet voice. "I don't know if your other teachers told you this, but he transferred over the holidays."

"I didn't really want any attention," Caspian said in a low voice.

"Well," she said in a childish voice. "You don't always get what you want."

 _Oh crap. This can't be leading anywhere good._

He shrugged.

"Caspian Diaz is from Spain, according to the Ministry records," said Umbridge. He nodded. "Why did you transfer?"

He considered the question for a moment. _Don't be stupid, Caspian._ "My sponsor decided it would be best to go to Dumbledore's school, since he would obviously have the best teachers in the world, being the greatest wizard in the world."

"And do you believe this to be true?" Umbridge asked, her voice dangerously sweet.

"Absolutely." He threw a dazzling smile at her. She faked one back, and grabbed her wand.

"Do this worksheet." She said, and I began on it.

* * *

"Is that class always so dull?" Caspian asked.

"Yes," I answered. "It's so that Dumbledore can't recruit an army to use to take over the Ministry."

"That's a bit ridiculous." He said.

"Tell me about it," I muttered. Then there was a loud wailing, coming from the main courtyard. I ran after it and drew my wand, ready for a battle. Instead, what I found was a crowd around Trelawney, Umbridge, and Trelawney's trunk.

"You can't fire me." Trelawney sobbed. "Hogwarts is my home!"

"It was your home." Umbridge said nastily.

"There, there, Sybil." Professor McGonagall said. "You'll be okay."

Then Dumbledore appeared. "I cannot allow you to dismiss my teachers from the castle."

Umbridge looked shocked. "But I-I-"

"It is my wish that Sybil Trelawney continues to reside in the castle." Dumbledore said.

"As for the new teacher-" Umbridge began.

"I have appointed a new one, as you said I could, under your decree." He said calmly. Through the great castle doors trotted a palomino blond centaur. "Firenze will be teaching Divination at Hogwarts."

"They have centaurs in this world?" Caspian whispered.

"They aren't friendly like ours." I said.

Umbridge went red with rage.

"She doesn't like half-human looking creatures." I added. "She thinks centaurs are half-breeds."

"Ugh." Caspian muttered.

"We'd better be off." I muttered. "I have Arithmancy."


	11. Difference Between Centaurs

"Are you in Divination?" Caspian asked.

He managed not to get himself killed for the rest of the last day. I kept my distance, knowing that he couldn't be interested, not anymore. _He got married and had a kid. Move on, Susan_. He would keep close by, but there was enough work, that luckily we didn't have to talk. _Until now._

"Let me take a look at your schedule." I said suspiciously.

He handed it over wordlessly. My suspicions were confirmed. Enough of his electives were the same as mine. Divination, Care of Magical Creatures, and Magical Theory.

"Did Aslan tailor this?" I asked dryly. _Stupid, meddling lion!_

"Pretty much." Caspian shrugged. "He just said that it would all be arranged."

I groaned inwardly, but composed myself outwardly, much like I did when I visited Calormen. "Fine, but they changed the classroom, because that centaur definitely isn't going to be going up that trapdoor in North Tower."

I followed Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, since they were Divination fanatics, to a classroom on the first floor. We waited for the door to open in a huddle.

"Pevensie, what are you doing with him?" Brown asked me, eying Caspian as, well, hot, and me as the devil.

"Haven't you had enough boyfriends to play around with?" Patil snarked. I could hear Caspian gasp behind me.

"Make your accusations, Patil, but know this- I don't care what you're going to tell people." I said.

"You should care," Patil said, dumbstruck. I shrugged in a kind of come-at-me way.

"Fine, your choice." Patil said, before she and Brown pushed me back, so they could talk to Caspian. "So, you're Caspian Diaz?" She asked.

"Yes." Caspian then kissed both their hands, and Brown in particular twittered with giggles. They sound like birds.

 _Get your act together, Susan,_ I reminded myself sternly. _He's married and had a kid. He's not available! Stop flashing them the green eyes, when you know it's useless for you, too._

"Well, it was nice meeting you!" Brown shrieked. She and Patil stepped a few paces away, but still in obvious earshot of Caspian.

"Y'know what my sister said about that Susan Pevensie?" Patil asked Brown. _This isn't going to end well._

"No, what?" Brown replied.

"She's really childish, and still sleeps with a stuffed animal." Patil said, glancing over in my direction. My ears were burning- burning at the injustice of it all. _I'm gonna kill Padma for telling Parvati that!_

"Makes sense, seeing how mature and all high-and-mighty she acts." Brown continued, oblivious to my rage. "Moving from one boy to another, sucking them dry, playing around with them, and then tossing them in the dumpster when she gets bored. Did you hear what she did to Blaise Zabini?"

 _It isn't if the accusations aren't at least partially true_ , I reminded myself. My anger deflated to sadness and guilt. _What have I done?_

I was distracted from my train of thought when I saw the door open, and heard the creak. I entered slowly, and entered a recreation of a Narnian forest, minus the dryads and talking animals. The trees were similar, as was the night sky imprinted on the ceiling. I lay in the grass, and stared up at the ceiling, and put my hands under my head. I could almost pretend I was back in Narnia. I closed my eyes and took a whiff of the air.

 _It's the overgrown apple orchards of Cair Paravel, where we returned to Narnia, as called by my own horn._

"Susana?"

I opened my eyes, and sat up hastily. Caspian was sitting right next to me. "What's up?" I asked, as I curled my legs to the side.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry about what those girls said about you," said Caspian. "It was really cruel, to say such things, even if some of them might have been true." Here, he smiled mischievously.

I shrugged. "It's all a part of living in this world." I said. "Some people will say nice things, others will say cruel things. It's who you decide is worth listening to and what words should be taken to heart that determines the way you live in this world."

He seemed a bit shocked at this, and said nothing, for Firenze had begun talking. "Welcome to my class. We will be looking at how to read heavens. But understand, nothing is for certain."

He pointed to a bright spot in the sky. "Can anyone tell me what this is and tell me what it means?"

Patil's hand shot up.

"Yes, Miss Patil?" Firenze asked.

"Professor Trelawney did astrology with us! That's Mars! Mars causes accidents and burns and things like that, and when it makes an angle to Saturn, like now — that means people need to be extra careful when handling hot things—"

"That is human nonsense." Firenze interrupted. "Trivial hurts, tiny human accidents, these are of no more significance than the scurryings of ants to the wide universe, and are unaffected by planetary movements."

I was interested now. He was definitely unlike the centaurs in this world- but not like the centaurs in Narnia either. I kept my eyes and ears alert the whole time, and thought it through. He definitely thought that nothing was for certain in this world. He told us that humans weren't good at reading the stars, especially when Patil and Brown looked about ready to pitch a fit.

"Mr. Diaz, and Miss Pevensie, wait outside." Firenze said after class. For a few minutes, he talked to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley in the classroom with the door shut. Caspian and I just stood there awkwardly. I beat a rhythm with my wand against my leg, and hummed something, and he would look at me every few seconds, silencing me completely.

"Hagrid's not stupid-" Weasley muttered to Potter as the exited.

"Come in, you two." Firenze said gently. He ushered us in, them closed the door, and then unmistakably bowed. "My king. My queen."

I turned an unmistakable shade of red.

"What are you talking about?" Caspian asked.

"You're King Caspian, the one I served before I left that world, in a desperate attempt to survive." Firenze said in awe.

"You're the one that deserted." Caspian said in shock. Firenze bowed his head in shame. "I'm glad to find that you've found a new life here."

"You do not blame me?" Firenze asked.

"Of course not. It was a desperate time. We almost called the White Witch back in desperation." Caspian replied.

"Hmm." The centaur said, and then he looked at me. "Queen Susan, the Gentle, the Archer Queen, quite the legend of the Golden Age." He then laughed. "How is it that I find two Narnian monarchs living in the world of men?"

"Aslan's work." We chorused quickly. I didn't trust this centaur as far as I could throw him. Which was pretty far. We exchanged a glance, and I knew that he didn't either.

"We've got to go work on homework, study for our O.W.L.s, you know." I said, and I pretty much pushed Caspian out of the room, following after, and faking a smile until we were out of the woods.

"I don't trust him." Caspian said.

"Neither do I." I confirmed.

"Well, that dialogue was pointless." Caspian said with a shrug. We began walking to the courtyard. It was one of the less crowded ones.

"Do you have any questions about this world, and the assignment we've been given?" I asked, as we sat down on a bench.

"What's an O.W.L.?" He asked.

"Ordinary Wizarding Levels." I recited. "Basically, big exams to determine our careers in the future."

"We're in the year to do that?" He asked.

"Yep. Fifth year." I said.

Draco Malfoy swaggered into the courtyard, Crabbe, Goyle, and Zabini by his side. Crabbe and Goyle looked like the castle guards that I once helped take down in the raid against the castle that ended so badly. A mix of rage and disdain was on Zabini's handsome face, with a twinkle of sadness in those coffee-brown eyes.

 _Slytherin trouble._ I got to my feet, and whipped out my wand. "What do you want, Malfoy?" I called out, trying to sound unafraid and fearless. Like a Queen.

"I actually have a bone to pick with you, mudblood." Zabini said. My free hand curled into a fist. "I figured, if you're going to dump me so you can take this poor blood-traitor for a ride and leave him left with nothing, not love, nor money, not even friendship, I should tell him the truth about you."

"Go ahead." I dared him to poke holes in my armor. I placed my wand in my bag, and crossed my arms over my chest. "Say whatever you want. I don't care."

 _I've got nothing left to lose. He has to know, in any case_ , I reasoned. _After all, he seemed to know about the stuffed dog, so that means-_ I realized. "What's up with the hesitation? Fire away. You've got everything to win, and very little to lose." I said, waving them off. "Go on."

Malfoy and Zabini regained their footing. "Diaz, she's dated six different guys in this school." Malfoy began. "My friend, Zabini here, Anthony Goldstein, Seamus Finnegan, Terry Boot, Michael Corner, and Fred Weasley."

"Yeah, and she takes all sorts of gifts from them, gets passionate, and then leaves them." Zabini glared daggers at me. "Just like she did to me."

"Are you finished?" I asked, as I stooped down to grab my bag. "Are you done, trying to make what I do into a crime? I don't like playing dirty, but don't even get me started on your behavior, Blaise."

I glanced back at a shell-shocked Caspian. "See you around, Caspian." I then walked away, with my dignity still left.

* * *

Caspian still took the seat next to me.

"Two points from Gryffindor for your tardiness, Mr. Diaz." Umbridge said curtly.

"She's as bad as my aunt Prumaprismia." He muttered.

"No talking, Mr. Diaz! A point from Gryffindor!" She shouted, causing all the Gryffindors to glare at us.

"Quiz your partner on the theory of counter-jinxes." Umbridge ordered, and she took a seat at her desk.

"You first." I said dully, opening my textbook.

"Are you alright, Susana?" He whispered.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine." I looked down at my textbook. "Slinkhard says that jinxes are?"

"Malicious spells." Caspian answered, looking me directly in the eyes. I felt a little uncomfortable under the gaze. Were his eyes always so dark? I shook my head slightly to clear it. "Are all those things really true?"

"Six boyfriends? Sort of." I said. "I only went out with one date with Weasley, and I flirted with the others at some point, but Zabini is the only one I exclusively dated here at school. There is a muggle, but it's a summer fling, kind of." I explained in a hushed voice. "And they're the ones who think to send presents. Often some kind of jewelry. Oh, and a few beaus in America did, but we've been long out of touch."

"And the passionate part?" Caspian prompted.

"True, but only kissing, and you know, stuff like that. I am still a virgin." I said, as I looked down at the textbook again. "What is the phrase Slinkhard uses for counter-jinxes?"

"They're fancy names for jinxes." He recited. "What about the dumping part?"

"Very true," I confessed. "You saw the only time I did it, and that was in Potions with Blaise."

"So very little of it is true." Caspian affirmed.

I shrugged. "Let's just study, okay?" I swung my left leg over my right in a ladylike position.

His hand wrapped around my wrist. "Susana, I just want you to know that..." He hesitated. "That I'm here for you."

I smiled for the first time in a long time. A genuine one. "Thanks, and I'm here for you, too, which is why we should get studying."

Caspian winked. "Hint taken."

* * *

I caught Granger later.

"I have a friend who wants to join the DA." I whispered. "Can I bring him?"

"You mean the new boy?" Granger asked suspiciously.

"I promise, he'd want to come. He thinks the current classes are useless, too." I whispered. "Come on, Granger, please?"

"Fine." She muttered.


	12. Stirring Up Blood

"Remember how I said that Aslan had that mission for us?" I whispered to Caspian out at Hogsmeade.

"Yeah." He replied.

"There's a group that we're supposed to join- Dumbledore's Army." I explained. "The thing is, it's a secret organization, because clubs unless approved are banned by the Ministry."

"That's a stupid rule. It drives rebellion." He noted.

"Yeah, try telling them that. You might be lucky enough to get scarred." I held up my hand for the edge. "Anyways, since we're practicing spells, which the Ministry is afraid of, we can't get it approved, so we sneak to a place called the Room of Requirement."

We began hiking the outskirts of Hogsmeade. "Room of Requirement?" Caspian asked.

"Follow Harry Potter, the guy with the lightning scar." I explained. "He organized the whole thing, and if he gives you any trouble, tell him that Pevensie invited you. That should placate him."

"When's the next meeting?" He asked.

I pulled my Galleon out of my pocket, and checked the serial number. "Some point next week."

"I'll be there." He promised.

* * *

He fit seamlessly with Dumbledore's Army. Still had better marksmanship than half the members. I remembered that whole pinecone incident when we quarreled over who had better aim.

" _Reducto_ , right?" Caspian asked, positioning himself like a dueler, at the targets, which were about to start moving.

" _Yes_." I emphasized, ready to do it myself. He nodded, and I threw the switch. We began firing, mostly working on hitting moving targets- since we missed that Telmarine on the horse.

At the end of the meeting, it was determined by the rest of the DA, who wanted to watch with amazement of our aim, that I had the better aim and accuracy.

"This isn't going to be half-bad."

* * *

Valentine's Day was drawing close. I'd decided that I was going to do something nice for Cho. I was going to take her out to lunch at the Three Broomsticks, when she came in to the Ravenclaw common room cheerily.

"Harry asked me to Madam Puddifoot's on Valentine's Day!" Cho exclaimed happily, with a bounce in her step.

"That's great, Cho!" I cried, and I gave her a hug. So much for my plans.

"I know you've got a bit of jewelry, so I was wondering if I could borrow some of it?" She asked when we pulled away.

"Sure? Why don't I help you get ready the day of?" I replied.

"And you?" She said.

"Wait- what?" I asked.

"Hasn't Diaz asked you out yet?" Cho asked. "You two are pretty cozy."

"He has someone back at Beauxbatons." I lied.

"Oh." Cho became serious. "That's too bad."

I shrugged. "It's alright." How many times have I said that?

"Well, I'm here for you, if you need it." Cho said, and she gave me a hug.

* * *

 _St. Valentine's Day is today_ , I thought. I lay there in the bed for a moment. A flash made lights dance inside my eyes, and I tossed Lucy's stuffed dog into my carpetbag, and sat up straight. Padma looked guilty.

"What is wrong with you?" I growled, getting out of the bed.

"My sister put me up to this," she protested, backing away slowly.

"Fine." I walked to my bed stand, and yanked my jewelry box from its place. "Go ahead. What else do you want?"

"What's up with you?" Lisa asked irritably.

"People spread half-truths about me left and right, just because I'm into a guy and hang out with him, even though I know he won't like me back." I snarled.

"Caspian's got someone else?" Padma asked.

"A girl in Beauxbatons." I said.

"What does she look like?" Mandy asked, at attention.

I screwed up my face, trying to remember what Peter and Edmund had said. "She has the stars in her eyes. She's a blonde, and has skin so pale that it shimmers and sparkles in the sunlight."

"Sounds...starry." Lisa commented.

"What's her name?" Sue Li asked.

I tried to remember what Peter had told me. "Lillian Dill." I said.

"Lillian... Sounds pretty." Padma gushed.

"He's missing her, isn't he?" Mandy asked,

"I'd say so. He doesn't talk about her that much, though." I replied.

I then snapped to attention. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go help Cho, so good day." I then walked down the hall of the girls' dormitory, and got into Cho's own dormitory. "Are you ready?" I asked.

"Absolutely." Cho smiled. I helped her brush her silky black hair, and style it into a twist on the nape of her next, with a pretty barette in the back, of pearls. She picked out a white silk top and cardigan, with a black skirt and black tights with black ballet flats to go with it. Then it was on to the little details.

I gave her silver and diamond teardrop earrings, and handed her a silver chain with a single black pearl hanging off of it. A small ring and a bracelet with a swan charm finished off her pristine, delicate appearance, with innocence in every bit of her.

I did her glamour so her lips were the slightest bit darker on top, and that her lashes were thicker and jet-black, with the appearance of silver eyeshadow, to highlight her eyes, one of her best features, in my opinion.

"What do you think?" I asked proudly, as I allowed Cho to look in the mirror. She gasped.

"You did a great job, Susan." She said.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"Can't I at least try you?" Cho begged.

"I didn't bring any spare clothes up," I protested.

"You're about my size, so we can share." She replied happily.

"If it makes you happy." I said with a shrug.

She pulled my hair out of its night braid, and began brushing the waves through until they were shiny. She began braiding in a way that hurt my head a little bit, and finished it off with an indigo ribbon.

"Blue is your best color, you know that, right?" Cho asked happily, as she looked through her closet.

"I never really thought about that one, since I wear it every day." I said with another shrug.

"Ah, yes, here we go." Cho handed me a blue skater-dress with black tights, and began searching for some shoes.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked in dismay. _I'm not going on a date._

"Absolutely." She replied. _What is she up to?_

I put it on, and the tights. They seemed to fit alright, and still be modest.

"Here's some boots." Cho gave them over, small ankle boots with the slightest heel. I pulled them on, zipped them up, and waited.

"What?" She asked. "Look in the mirror already!"

"But what about my glamour?" I asked.

"You look prettier without one, Susan." She said, urging me to look in her full-length mirror already.

I turned around. The dress showed all the right curves in all the right places, and my hair pulled back brought some attention to my face. _Was it that pretty all along,_ I wondered. The small blue earrings twinkled at the sides, and I didn't need any necklace or bracelet beyond what I had, and my Time-Turner which I put my jewelry box with a locking charm.

"See, am I not right?" Cho crowed.

I nodded. "Let's get down to breakfast."

I could've sworn, that the moment I walked into the Great Hall, heads turned, but the only face I really saw was Caspian's. A slight smile, a nod, a look of wanting amongst the other emotions in those dark eyes. I blushed, and sat down, crossed my legs, and dug into my breakfast, when an owl dropped something that wasn't a _Daily Prophet_ meant for Padma Patil across the table. It was a box for shipping.

Padma's eyes widened. "Who would've sent you that?" She asked.

"I don't know." I said. I was trying to cut off all ties. Eric's the only one left, but he can't send anything to me.

"Well, open it!" Sue Li crowed.

I used my longer nails to slit the tape, and pulled open the box. Inside was a doll in a long dress, that looked like a queen, holding a bow and arrows. She was absolutely beautiful, and looked like the perfect thing ever, for me.

 _Lucy always made fun of my doll collection._

 _"Why would you have so many things that you'll never play with?" She always asked. I ignored her, and felt like I didn't need to defend my hobby._

 _The day that Lucy died, I named the one she loved so much and always looked longingly at 'Lucy' since she loved it so much._

I took the box, and began up the steps and got into the Ravenclaw common room. I placed the doll next to Lucy on the bed stand, so I could treasure it always. It was sweet, whomever the admirer was who sent that. I got my own out, the one I called my "friend-zone" valentine, and the small box of chocolates I'd gotten for Caspian. I didn't really want to put myself out there entirely, but I did want to express myself somewhat. _You can't blame a girl for trying._

I began into the Great Hall, when I bumped into Caspian himself.

"Hello, Susana." He said, with a smile again.

"These are for you." I said shyly, handing them over.

"Very thoughtful." He said coolly, reading the valentine, and taking a chocolate.

"Thanks." I blushed, which showed up under my freckles. _I wish Cho would've at least covered those up._

"Do you want to go out to the Three Broomsticks?" Caspian asked.

"Do you need me to pay?" I asked, grateful I'd gotten my purse and coat along with the valentine.

"No, Aslan said to just send the bill to my 'sponsor' and he'd take care of it." He said, waving off my concerns.

"Sure, then." I answered.

* * *

Inside the Three Broomsticks, I saw Granger with ex- _Daily Prophet_ reporter, Rita Skeeter. Potter came in, and sat down next to Granger. I frowned. _That dirty cheater. He's supposed to be with Cho!_

"Here's a table." Caspian said, drawing my attention again. I sat down in the little booth, across from him, and we ordered butterbeers.

"So, how's Lilliandil?" I asked, drumming my fingers against the table in anxiety.

He looked surprised. "Edmund and Peter told you about that?"

"Yeah, I didn't ask for details, but back when I doubted," I froze. "They thought it worth telling me."

"Yes, well, last I checked, she was okay. Rillian loved being reunited with her." Caspian said. "He always was closer with his mother."

Awkward silence settled over us.

"She must be beautiful." I said softly.

"Who?" He asked.

"Your wife." I said, frowning slightly. _What is he getting at?_

"Oh, yes." He answered quickly, sitting up straight. I did took realizing that we'd been leaning in.

"The weather is getting frightful. We'd better pay and get going." I said, looking at the snowfall.

* * *

I played a CD of an American underground emo band that Aunt Alberta thought would be worth a listen, in the dormitory.

"I'm so tired of being here," a woman's voice began to sing. "Suppressed by all my childish fears."

I began to sing along. "And if you have to leave, why don't you just leave? Because your presence still lingers here."

I felt a pain in my heart as the track continued. "And it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase."

I could feel the day I was told I'd never come back again perfectly.

* * *

" _Aslan would like to speak with you and me." Peter says, standing in the doorway in royal clothing- red and gold, his house colors. Aslan stands next to him, his golden fur taking color and light away from the sun in comparison._

 _"Of course," I say, nodding my head respectfully. I lift my skirt, and get to my feet, and begin to follow Aslan and Peter into the courtyard._

 _"You are getting to the age, Son of Adam, Daughter of Eve," says Aslan regretfully. "You will no longer be coming to Narnia."_

 _"What?" I ask incredulously, thinking of Caspian._ How can I leave him behind?

 _"Do not despair, Daughter of Eve," Aslan says. "I am known by another name in your world. You must come to know me in that world, and hold on to your faith. Belief is a child's thing- but you have learned faith, and it is time you applied that to your world."_

 _As we continue the stroll, I look over to see Caspian jogging down the steps to the courtyard. I look away briefly, and out of the corner of my eye, I see his flick over to us. I look at him. We communicate with only our eyes, of the despair and tragedy._

I am never coming back to Narnia _, I say with my eyes._

What about us? _Caspian asks with his._

It's all over _. I say with the tears beginning to roll down my cheeks._

* * *

"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of you tears," I wailed along. "When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears." I thought of how I'd comforted Lucy after Aslan was killed by the White Witch, and how I protected her from our parents who often left us all alone, to fend for ourselves in our London apartment. Don't get me wrong, they loved us, but they had to work in places that involved leaving us alone for weeks at a time. Peter and I had to grow up fast, and take care of Lucy and Edmund.

"And I held your hand through all of these years," I crooned, thinking of Peter. Yes, we were both strong individuals, but we supported each other strongly.

"And you still have all of me." They all did still hold my heart- what was left of it, anyway.

"You used to captivate me with your resonating light, but now I'm bound by the life you left behind." I knew the feeling. I felt like the only thing keeping me from going off and dying was the ties of the lives that were carved out.

"Your face now haunts my once pleasant dreams," I sang, thinking of my own dreams, where Caspian and/or my siblings frequently appeared. "Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me."

"These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase." I sang. "When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears, when you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your tears, and I held your hand through all of these years, yet you still have all of me."

"I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone." I began to cry. I did try to tell myself that Caspian wasn't available anymore, that he was gone to me. That my siblings would never come back. I looked at my Time-Turner. I'd been so distracted by Caspian's arrival that I hadn't thought about my plan.

"Even though, you're still with me, I've been alone all along." _True. All too true._

* * *

I read the _Quibbler_ article when it came in. I showed it to Caspian, and we became ready for what was about to come next.


	13. The Traitor

More people were at this DA meeting. Seamus Finnegan and Lavender Brown were two of them, definitely, and Wayne Hopkins from Hufflepuff was another, as was Daphne and Astoria Greengrass of Slytherin. It was looking good, for the majority of the wizarding community now seemed to believe that Potter was right all along. Funny, isn't it, how fickle humans like us can be?

"Today, we're working on the Patronus Charm." Potter said. "This is extremely difficult, but it's useful. Think of something happy, concentrate on it, and then cast ' _Expecto Patronus_ '."

Me and Caspian nodded, and began to get to work on it. It took me a few tries, but then I found just the right moment- the one when I was coronated among my siblings as the Queen of Narnia by Aslan.

"Expecto Patronus!" I yelled. Out of my wand shot a silvery blue lion, which shook its shaggy mane and let out a silent roar that seemed to send magical waves through the room. It lingered for a couple minutes, strutting around like Aslan, and I knew that right then that Caspian's patronus had to be a lion.

Sure enough, he attempted it after me. "Expecto Patronus!" He casted, and an identical lion spawned out of the wand. The two lions nuzzled, and then they vanished, walking side by side. _Stupid lions._

I heard banging, and whipped around to see a house-elf in many hats and scarves and bright colors banging his head against a cabinet.

"What's that, and what is it doing?" Caspian asked with concern.

"It's a house-elf, and employed one, obviously, because it's wearing all those clothes, and he has to punish himself because he's going against some rule." I explained in a whisper.

"Umbridge?" Potter asked it. The house-elf trembled and nodded. Potter turned to us. "WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? RUN!" He bellowed, and everyone ran for the exit, and I got pushed to the ground.

"Are you alright, Susana?" Caspian asked.

"Get moving, Caspian! You don't wanna get caught here!" I cried, as I struggled to my feet, and got caught on my robes every five seconds. He considered the option for a moment, but then helped me to my feet.

"I'm not leaving you, Susana." He said, with a slight smile. I smiled back, and we then began to run, just as Potter was leaving. I should've known something was up when Potter tripped comically out of nowhere. Five seconds later, I hit the ground as well, and so did Caspian.

Cackling I'd heard for years came from above. _Ferrety prat._

"Malfoy." I growled.

"I found these three, Professor Umbridge," Malfoy said. I inwardly groaned.

"Ah, Potter, that I expected, and Pevensie, and-" Umbridge pulled both of us. "Diaz, the headmaster's little transfer students. I figured that you would be ringleaders of illegal activities."

"Illegal?" Caspian said weakly.

"I'm afraid there's a Ministry decree, dear," Umbridge said in her sickly sweet voice. "Fifty points to Slytherin, Draco. Go look in the library, and the bathrooms, look for anyone out of breath. Miss Parkinson can do the girls' bathroom."

We then were swept off to Dumbledore's office. _This is it,_ I thought. _We're all going to get expelled, and we'll then be in trouble_.

"I just found the three ringleaders of the gang that Marietta Edgecombe told us about." Umbridge told Minister Fudge in Dumbledore's office.

"I'm not a leader of a gang." Caspian protested.

"Liar." Umbridge accused.

"Potter, do you know what you're here for?" Fudge asked.

"Ye-no." Potter said.

"No?" Fudge asked. "So you haven't broken any school rules?"

"School rules?" Potter asked. "Not that I'm aware of.

"Or Ministry decrees?" Fudge added hastily.

"Nope." Potter lied.

"I'll tell you what happened." Umbridge said. "In November, Mr. Potter was seen in the Hog's Head, recruiting students for a gang to learn magic that was considered inappropriate by the Ministry of Magic. Willy Widdershins reported it right away-"

"So that's why he wasn't persecuted for terrorizing those poor muggles!" Professor McGonagall interjected. "What an interesting insight into our justice system!"

"Blatant corruption!" A wizard in one of the paintings roared. "In my day, the Ministry didn't make such dealings with criminals-"

"Thank you, Everard." Dumbledore interrupted.

"Anyhow," Umbridge continued. "Miss Edgecombe came to my office today, telling me that I'd find something to my interest in the third-floor corridor. I persuaded her to tell me a little more, and she told me that there was to be a meeting, and Potter organized it. She then saw her reflection and became too distressed to say anything else."

"What happened?" Fudge asked.

"Show him," Umbridge asked Marietta. She shook her head. "I'm sure the spots won't get worse." Marietta reluctantly pulled down her robes. Across her nose and cheeks were purple pimples reading 'sneak' in capital letters. Fudge just about set his robes on fire, stumbling backwards.

 _Granger jinxed the list,_ I realized. _She knew that someone might betray us- that's why she made anyone who came sign the list- it's a magical contract, a step away from an Unbreakable Vow or Fidelius Charm._

"That was very brave of you," Fudge assured her, giving her a fatherly look. "I'll be sure to tell your parents what a good girl you've been." Ugh, sounds like he's talking to a dog.

"Her mother is Madam Edgecombe, Head of the Department of Transportation. She's been so helpful in policing the fires this year." Umbridge said proudly.

"Like mother, like daughter." Fudge said. "Now for these three-"

"I assume they will be returned to their bed?" Dumbledore interjected.

"Why, what cock and bull story are you going to give this time, to get Potter out of trouble?" Fudge demanded in sadistic delight.

"I won't deny, and neither does Harry," Dumbledore said gravely. "That he was there that day. But the rule was put into place the day after, so therefore the meeting was not illegal."

Everyone seemed dumbstruck.

"But if the meetings still continued," Umbridge said.

"But did they?" Dumbledore interrupted. "I was under the impression that Miss Edgecombe only was reporting a meeting for tonight."

Umbridge steadied herself. "Marietta, have these meetings been going on for six months? You can nod or shake your head, I'm sure that won't make the spots worse."

Marietta shook her head. _Did she decide not to betray us after all?_

"What do you mean?" Umbridge demanded, beginning to loose her grip.

"I believe when a person shakes their head, they mean 'no,'" McGonagall said coldly. "Unless Miss Edgecombe is using sign-language yet unknown to humans, she means 'no.'"

Umbridge then shook Marietta violently, until her hands came off as if they'd been burned. Fury glimmered in Dumbledore's eyes. "I cannot allow you to manhandle my students, Delores." He said.

"Don't forget yourself, ma'am." A black Auror said in a deep, reassuring voice.

"You're quite right, Shacklebolt." Umbridge said, taking shuddering breaths. It was a moment before I realized that Caspian was holding my hand.

"Potter still needs to get expelled, along with these two, since they still had an illegal meeting." Umbridge continued.

"Didn't you notice?" Dumbledore asked. "It's not Potter's Army at the top, it's-"

"Dumbledore's Army." Fudge said quiet.

"NO! Professor Dumbledore!" Potter yelled.

"Be quiet, Harry, or I will have to remove you from my office." Dumbledore said.

"Yes, shut up, Potter!" The minister said merrily. "I came to Hogwarts expecting to expel Potter tonight, but no, I can arrest Dumbledore!"

"It's like losing a Knut and finding a Galleon, isn't it?" Said Dumbledore amicably.

"Weasley, have you gotten everything? His confession?" Fudge demanded.

The redhead intern had a blotch of ink on his nose from writing so fast. "Every last word." He vowed.

"Shacklebolt! Dawlish!" Fudge shouted.

"I have one problem." Dumbledore said.

"And that is?" Fudge asked, still too giddy and stupid to see the problem for him at hand.

"You seem to be operating under the delusion that I will- what is the phrase- go quietly?" Dumbledore said.

"What are you going to do? Duel six wizards alone?" Fudge demanded.

"He is not alone!" McGonagall shouted.

"Yes, he _is_!" Dumbledore snapped. "Hogwarts needs you, Minerva!" Then he unleashed a curse, and Caspian pushed me to the ground and dived after me, and McGonagall pushed Marietta and Harry to the floor, protecting them from the harm of the spell.

"Unfortunately, I had to hex Kingsley, too, or else it would've looked suspicious." Dumbledore said. "Pity, too, when he was so quick on the uptake, and modified Miss Edgecombe's memory."

Caspian and I were slowly crawling to our knees.

"Harry, you must promise me that you'll stay in Occlumency. It is of utmost importance." Dumbledore said. The others began to stir. "Act as if no time has passed." He ordered. He then clapped his hands over the tail feathers of his phoenix, and in a flash of fire.

We dived to the floor again. The others got to their feet, as if no time had passed.

"You best get these students to bed." Fudge said to McGonagall, when all had been explained.

"I don't always agree with Dumbledore, Minister," one portrait said as we left. "But you've got to admit- he's got style."

I chuckled slightly, until McGonagall gave me a warning glare, and she stopped at the Ravenclaw tower, and McGonagall produced a special key that she fit into the eagle's mouth perfectly, and overrode the question system.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Caspian whispered. McGonagall pointed looked at him. I turned away, and followed Marietta into the Ravenclaw common room, and I didn't look back. It would be too much like the day I left Narnia.

"My memories were wiped..." Marietta murmured. She sat down on a chair, looking stunned, and angry and afraid. "What have I done?"

"You sold us all out!" I cried angrily.

"I did?" Marietta asked. "That's right, I was going to Umbridge's office. I wasn't going to tell her much, I promise. Just that she could find something on the third floor. From then, I can't remember. It's all in bits and pieces."

"Don't deny it, you did sell us out." I said, rather icily.

"You have no idea what it's like!" Marietta shouted, starting to get angry. "What it's like to have a mother and father always on you, pressuring you to be perfect, when no one's freaking perfect! Get into Ravenclaw? 'Why didn't you get into Gryffindor, the best house?' Take the most challenging electives? 'Why didn't you take them all like that Hermione Granger?' Never once get a detention or in trouble with a teacher? They treat me like I'm some naughty kid always crossing lines!"

"I might not know parental pressure," I replied. "But don't think that I've never been forced to act like I'm perfect. I've felt that pressure for most of my lifer, having to look after my siblings. Now that they're dead, people expect me to act the same as I did before, except not to go on too many dates, or else I look like a hussy."

Marietta was stammering for an argument.

"Good night." I said, and I turned on my heel, and walked into my dormitory, where some of the other girls sat glumly.

"I never figured that one of our own would turn us in," Padma said, considering our predicament. "I thought it would be Greengrass or Nott."

"Not all Slytherins are bad," I argued, thinking of Edmund.

"I think tonight just proved it," Lisa said.


	14. Breakaway

It was the reign of Delores Umbridge, and it was the time of pranking. First, the Weasley twins were setting off fireworks left and right, causing overall chaos. I was one of the few students, though, who took the advantage of going home for Easter holidays.

* * *

"Hey, Susan."

I looked up from my feet to see Eric. My stomach dropped out from under me. I'd been dreading this all break, but it needed to happen.

"Hello, Eric." I said slowly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, taking a seat next to me.

"I think we need to have a talk." I said. I looked him in the eyes, an acidic green. "About our relationship."

"What's up?" Eric asked, concerned now.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. _God, I thought this was going to be easy._ I swallowed, and opened my eyes again. _I can do this. I have to do this._

"I think it's time I've been honest with you, really honest." I said. I almost couldn't bear to look at him, but I had to. "I think you're a great guy, you really are, and I wish you the most happiness in the world."

"But-" He prompted.

I took another shuddering breath. "You deserve to go find someone who truly loves you. I love you, in a platonic way. But not in the way that you're looking for. I was just using you to move on, from the only person I've ever truly romantically loved. I realize now that that's just not fair to you, or any of the guys I've flirted with, dated, or kissed since the one I really love moved on."

I looked down at my shoes. "I understand if you're angry- you have every right to be. I understand if you want your stuff back- I'll willingly give it all back. I just want you to be happy with someone who truly loves you in the way you want." I finally looked up. He was just staring sadly at me.

"I guess it kinda hurts a little bit," he said. "But I guess we were always meant to say goodbye. Just a summer fling. I feel sorry for you, though. You must feel so empty, and I can only begin to imagine that. As for the stuff- keep it. I wouldn't have given it, if I didn't want to. We were just using each other- I was using you as an accessory, you were using me as a way to move on."

"Can we still be friends?" I asked timidly.

"I think so." Eric then hugged me. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Susan."

"Me too."

* * *

"You seem depressed." Caspian said, taking a seat in the library next to me.

"Just, insightful, I guess," I replied, opening a book on natural magic.

"What do you mean?"

"I just realize now that what I did wasn't fair. I used people just to move on, but I never fell for any of them." I hesitated. "I broke it off during the holidays with my muggle boyfriend."

"Are you doing alright?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I answered. "He's better off without me."

"If you say so." He muttered.

It was moments like those that made me wonder if maybe Peter and Edmund were wrong, but I somehow doubted it. Peter might've had rivalry, but he wouldn't have done that. _Would he though,_ I wondered, as I slammed the book shut, and placed it where it belonged.

He followed me out to the hub of the school, where there was a crowd around Fred and George Weasley with Umbridge and Filch.

"So you thought that it would be amusing, did you, to turn a school corridor into a swamp?" She demanded.

"Yes." Said one twin, unfazed.

"Well, you're about to find out what happens to trouble-makers at this school," Umbridge said with a sadistic smile.

"I don't think we are." One twin said.

"Yeah, I think we've outgrown full-time education." The other added.

"Time to put our talents to use." The first said.

"Accio brooms!" They chorused, and broomsticks with chains attached were conjured to them.

They hopped on them, and circled around. "Want pranks? Come to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, in Diagon Alley!" One shouted.

"Special discounts to any Hogwarts students who swear they'll use our products to get rid of this bat!" The other cried. Then they took off.

* * *

Mayhem ensued. I always wore a Bubble-Head charm leaving lessons, and taught Caspian how to do the same, so that he wouldn't choke on all the Dungbombs, either.

All I did was use some Puking Pastules to get out of Umbridge's lessons. Umbridge-itis was fun. Better than succumbing to blatant dictatorship of it all. I tried to keep myself from flirting left and right- I wasn't going to be unfair like that again. I promised myself that, and I intended to keep that promise, no matter how hard it was. It made it hard to float atop my misery, but I wouldn't drown either. If I succumbed, one or the other, perhaps it wouldn't have all been so painstakingly hard.

* * *

To help with my homework, I'd taken my muggle radio out, since it was wireless. It played some of my favorite artists, Buddy Holly, Journey, the Eagles, and John Mellancamp, and Cyndi Lauper.

One of my favorite beats began to play. _"Been working so hard, I'm punching my card- eight hours for what? Oh, tell me what I got."_

I got to my feet, and shed my robes since they were a nuisance. I gave a little kick with each leg, and laughed. "Dance with me, Cas!" I said, as I pulled him to his feet.

 _"Now I gotta cut loose, footloose!"_

I loved "Footloose" quite a bit. It was one of my favorite songs of all time, and I couldn't help but belt out the lyrics as I danced, despite the funny looks the purebloods were giving me, and the slightly confused one on Caspian's face. Even when I was Queen, dancing was one of the few times I was free. Free to be myself, whomever that was.

 _What a terrifying thought. I don't know who I really am._ I ignored it, keeping up with the music. When the song was over, I collapsed panting onto the soft grass.

"Is this the kind of music you Britainians listen to?" Caspian asked.

"Muggles, yes." I said.

"What are muggles, again?" He asked. The purebloods all whipped their heads around.

"Not so loud!" I hissed. "Muggles are non-magical folk. I'm a muggle-born, which means my parents didn't have magic, but I do. So did Peter, Edmund, and Lucy."

"What's a mudblood?" He whispered.

"You see," I explained coolly. "There are those who have wizards all through their line, far enough to make them believe they are purely wizard, with no magical blood whatsoever. They believe that muggles are inferior to them, because they can't use magic, and think that muggle-borns are unworthy of magic. So, a mudblood is a really nasty term referring to a muggle-born, saying they have dirty blood in comparison to them."

"I don't think that you have filthy blood." Caspian said, looking me dead straight in the eyes. He's got a wife. He's got a kid. Focus, Susan.

I closed my eyes, to regain my regality. "Of course you wouldn't. You know me, and you're not a closed-minded bigot. Pray tell me- what have you been saying your blood status was, if asked?"

"I said that magic runs through my veins." He said with a nonchalant shrug. _That explains a lot._

"Then some of the purebloods would call you a blood-traitor, because you don't mind muggles." I said sharply, too much for my own taste.

"What is wrong with you?" Caspian demanded. "You're always pushing me away!"

I hated how weak I was, for crying right then and there. For letting the tears come, and letting them begin to bead in the ducts, despite the battle of wills.

"You have _no idea_ what it's like," I snarled. "No idea what it's like to be forced to move on, from the only man you ever loved, because he moved on, and got married, and had a child. You have no idea what it's like to lose everyone you ever cared about. To have no one left."

I scooped up my radio and bags. "I'm sorry that I push you away, when I have no one left to pull close. I don't want anyone to get close, don't you get that? I don't want anyone else to get hurt by my own grief."

With that, I walked away.


	15. OWL

I avoided Caspian as much as possible whenever I could in the following weeks. Besides, I had to study for my O.W.L.s. Now that the DA was dead, I certainly wouldn't pass Defense Against the Dark Arts unless I studied and found some place to practice. I actually still disappeared into the Room of Requirement.

It was nice there. I could be alone, and not be afraid to cry. Not be afraid to talk as if maybe, just maybe Peter, Edmund, and Lucy could hear me from up there. I could practice, and just disappear. No one would search for me or even care about what was going on.

* * *

The pre-O.W.L.s week was swamped with review classes, and everybody trying to cram in whatever they could. I was reading up on test-taking strategies, for whenever I didn't know the answer. I wanted to maximize my chances at passing these tests, since they determined the rest of my life in the wizarding world.

On Monday morning, all the fifth-years remained in the Great Hall and waited, as the administrator, Professor Marchbanks, conjured long rows of desks. He then read off our names in alphabetic order. I sat behind Sally-Ann Perks from Slytherin, and in front of Harry Potter himself. We were read a dialogue, and then told to begin. I looked down at the paper, and began writing.

We broke for lunch, and the Great Hall was put back the way it was before the exam had ever taken place. I didn't feel hungry that day, for some reason. I just couldn't help but think, _you failed everything. You're no good at it, and you're going to-_

 _Stop that nonsense,_ I chided myself. _There's no use panicking, now is there?_ I still felt too nervous to eat anything. We then waited outside of an examination room, waiting for our practical Charms exam. Padma and Parvati Patil were quizzing each other. Mandy and Lisa were casting Charms on passing first-years in the corridor.

"Padma Patil! Parvati Patil! Sally-Ann Perks! Susan Pevensie! Harry Potter!" Professor Marchbanks called.

I followed them into the examination room. We were given an egg, and had to make it change colors, do a cartwheel, and perform a Cheering Charm.

I felt so happy and agreeable, for the first time in a long time. Happy enough, that I smiled at Caspian, and waved.

* * *

Nothing truly interesting occurred until my Astronomy practical exam. We began, just looking at the stars, when I had looked down briefly, to scribble something down on my paper. What I saw was several people in cloaks trying to sneak up on Hagrid's cabin.

I looked up quickly, trying to get a closer look. "Ow," I muttered, rubbing my probably-black eye. I gingerly looked through the telescope, and watched them sneak up to Hagrid and-

"STUPEFY!" The figures yelled. Hagrid came running around, unaffected by the Stunning Spells. _Then again, he is part giant,_ I remembered, from the _Daily Prophet_ article the year before.

Then, they crucioed his dog, if I saw correctly. That was the point where Hagrid completely lost it. He pulled out his flowery pink umbrella, and sent fiery hexes at all of the Ministry people.

"This is a cowardly way to attack." Caspian murmured.

"Twenty minutes to go, everyone!" Professor Tofty called out.

I looked down, and began scribbling more down on my star chart.

"You cowards!" I heard McGonagall shout. I looked straight up, and looked through the telescope. I watched as she got hit right in the chest with four Stunning Spells. Hagrid took advantage of the Ministry workers' distress and picked up his dog, and made a run for it in the woods.

"Five minutes to go, everyone." Tofty said nervously. I finished mine up as decently as I possibly could.

"It was like something that my uncle Miraz would've done." Caspian remarked to me as we walked down the steps.

"Oh, are you speaking to me, again?" I asked rather coolly.

He parted his lips to speak, when Lavender Brown butted her head in.

"You have an uncle? Is he high up in the Spanish Ministry?" She asked. I stormed off, angry at being interrupted, and tired from staying up for the Astronomy exam. We got into the Ravenclaw common room, and got ready for our exams the next morning.

* * *

The next morning, before the Defense Against the Dark Arts exams, Caspian came over to the Ravenclaw table.

"Oh, I guess that's a yes." I said, as I took a strawberry out of a bowl. "Want one?"

"Um, sure." He took it. "Anyway, I wanted to say that I'm sorry if I pushed your limits, that day, but I do know how it feels."

"You do?" I raised my eyebrows. "Really?"

He took my hand, sending crackling down my spine. I yanked my hand away, since I knew he'd moved on. _Who was I to act like we still had a chance?_

"When I was fifty-two, Lilliandil, Rillian, and I-"

"Rillian?" I interrupted.

"My son. We were out on a picnic, close to the northern border." His dark eyes became distant. "It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, and there were clouds in the shapes of fantasies in the air. We were singing, and laughing, and I was playing my recorder when Lilliandil fell asleep."

He took a deep, shuddering breath. "She never woke up. A green serpent bit her in her sleep. Rillian drew his sword, but before he could do anything, the snake had slithered away. He was...obsessed, for years, with finding that snake. Finally, three years later... He went off one last time, with Drinian, one of my best friends. There, Drinian said, he saw a beautiful maiden in a green dress. Rillian followed her, and he never came back.

"I nearly killed him in a fit of anger," Caspian confessed. "Then I realized- everyone I truly loved was lost to me, except for Drinian. I embraced him, instead." He took another deep, shuddering breath.

Mandy looked over at me. "What's he doing here? This is the Ravenclaw table." She said disdainfully.

"The point is," he whispered. "I know what you're feeling, and don't you dare think that I've never felt it either." He then looked over to Mandy. "I'm sorry, miss, I'll be leaving now." With that, he rejoined the Gryffindor table.

I stared at my plate, and suddenly didn't feel all that hungry. _What have I done? You just keep messing it all up, don't you?_ I turned to look over at Caspian, who was studying a book quite intensely, the most I'd've ever thought. _This is why you shouldn't try to get close to others, or let them get close to you. You'll just drench them in misery, and make them hate you, drive them all mad in the end,_ I told myself miserably, as I stood, and walked out of the Great Hall.

I sat on the cold stone floor, and curled my legs around my bottom, as to not show my undergarments, and set down my hands to steady myself, as I wept. _Who am I? What's left of Susan Pevensie? What is this new creature that's replaced her inside?_

My breaths became more and more ragged. Tears kept falling, enough that I thought I was going to choke. I wasn't going to let myself become that monster, the one that tore everyone apart whenever she got bored. _The one who broke everyone's heart. I was never going to be that girl again, the one who didn't care about another person's feelings, the one who only cared about her own long-gone ones._

The DADA theoretical was quite easy- and dull enough that I almost expected to find Umbridge hem-hemming in a frighteningly fluffy cardigan, holding a saccharine purse. The one that everyone was most nervous for was the practical.

Caspian was one of the first to go through, due to his pseudonym, and he looked actually the least nervous out of all of the other four. He looked ready for battle, like he did the day I met him during the War of Deliverance. _Of course he'd be good at this,_ I remembered. _He defended Narnia against darkness for what- sixty-six years, if Peter told me correctly? Almost as natural as his aptitude in Care of Magical Creatures._

He looked left, then right as he walked past me. "Umbridge is watching." He informed me, and then he walked away. _Now I'm bound by the life you left behind..._ I couldn't help but think.

A few sessions later, I was called along with the rest of my Charms group. Potter, the Patil twins, and that redhead Sally-Ann. As Caspian had said, Umbridge was in the room with Professor Tofty.

The first thing we had to do was shield charms. Thanks to Potter's training in the DA, we all easily created shields that made the hexes Professor Tofty casted bounce effortlessly back at him. Next, he unleashed a series of boggarts, our individual ones.

I gulped in anticipation. My hands went slick as they gripped my wand, and I wondered what my worst fear really was. I guess it's time to find out, at sixteen.

What came out was my three siblings. Peter, Edmund, and Lucy. But they weren't quite the same. They were dressed in Narnian clothing, the very clothing we wore the day that we were coronated as kings and queens of Narnia by Aslan. They looked like zombie versions of themselves. Peter's corpse had two swords that looked like the White Witch's, right through his middle, with wolf claw marks on his hands, like in my nightmare that one night. Edmund had one arm turned golden, and had an axe in his neck. Lucy looked the worst. Telmarine arrows stuck to her calves, and bits of steel girders stuck into other parts of her body.

"You didn't believe." Peter said in an eerie replication of his voice- and it sounded angry.

"I didn't mean to." I protested, taking a step back.

"You stopped believing in Narnia, Susan," Edmund insisted with a greedy smile.

"You never believed me, even in the beginning." Lucy said dryly.

"It's because you didn't believe that we're dead," they continued, now in a deathly chorus.

"It's not my fault," I said steadily, mostly to reassure myself.

"If it wasn't your fault, then why did you let us board those trains?" Peter asked, drawing closer.

"If it wasn't your fault, then why didn't you come with us?" Edmund demanded.

"Why didn't you protect me," Lucy whined.

I was backed against the stone wall. _Susan, think,_ I told myself, closing my eyes. _They aren't real. What gets rid of boggarts? Something that would make you laugh._ I opened my eyes again, and wished I hadn't _. This isn't exactly something easy to laugh at. It's a psychological fear. What would make me laugh? I wish my siblings were here, they did know how to do that- wait, I've got it!_

I my eyes flashed open. " _Riddikulus_!" I cried, and suddenly the zombies were a bit less terrifying, and there were some obvious signs of special effects, now.

"Did we scare you, Susan?" Lucy asked, a mischievous grin on her face. I giggled.

"It was all Edmund's idea, Su," Peter said, grinning now. I laughed, and threw my arms around the boggarts, forgetting that they weren't real. They vanished, and I fell on my face. Parvati Patil giggled.

I then realized that everyone had watched the full thing, because the others had shown signs of being done for a while. I slowly got to my feet, having become conscious of the eyes on me.

"Do you want to step out for a moment, dear?" Professor Tofty asked. Umbridge smirked out in the background. _Hateful witch,_ I thought fiercely as I narrowed my eyes. _She's never lost someone that she's truly loved, or else she wouldn't be looking at me that way._

"No, I'm fine," I lied, and my voice went up a few octaves.

"Are you sure?" Tofty insisted.

"I'm fine." I assured him.

"I'm sorry for your losses." He said in a quiet voice.

"Let's get on with the tests." Umbridge said.

We completed counter-jinxes, and other defensive measures, and I kept my head in the game. I had to. I couldn't surrender to the overwhelming feelings that threatened to drown me.

"Mr. Potter, I have a friend at the Ministry. Could you perhaps perform the Patronus Charm? For bonus points?" Tofty asked him.

Potter focused for a moment, and then an ethereal stag leapt into the air. It pranced around a bit, and both of the adults scribbled down notes furiously.

"Professor Tofty, sir?" I called out, before they were given a chance to escort us out. "May I attempt the Patronus Charm?" I don't know what made the words come out of my mouth. I'd only done it once before- but it couldn't hurt to try. _Could it?_

"Of course, my dear." He said gently.

 _What memory am I going to use,_ I thought hopelessly. Then it came to me. _The day we returned to Cair Paravel._

I focused on it so much, I almost felt like I was there. _I could smell the salt in the air, and could taste it in my every breath. The sun smiled gently down upon us. The waves crashed, and gulls cried. If you listened closely- you could barely hear it, mind, mersong drifted into your ears. My eyes narrowed to accommodate the newfound brightness._

 _"Where are we?" Peter asked._

I smiled. " _Expecto Patronus_!" The lion that resembled Aslan sprang from the mouth of the lion on my wand, and I expected him to turn golden, and begin talking in a Morgan Freeman voice, but that never happened.

"Interesting." Professor Tofty said. Umbridge's jaw dropped, like a toad croaking. Both the Patil twins stared at me, dumbfounded, despite being in the DA with me. _I guess Padma thought I was too depressed to do it again._

"Great job, Pevensie." Potter said to me as we exited. I nodded regally.

"Good job to you, too, Potter." I replied, a slight smile still on my face.

 _Maybe it'll all be okay_ , I thought, as I gripped onto my Time-Turner.


	16. Mighty King

I was feeling a bit stressed after the History of Magic exam, so I took a walk around the castle. I'm sorry, but Binns is a horrible teacher- they should've figured out how to sack him years ago. I was petrified at the possible thought of not getting a passing grade there- I had nothing left to hang on to, other than my grades. _Nothing at all,_ I thought.

 _But wait, what about Aslan's mission,_ I asked myself. _It's not like it has come up in all this time, just saying. The only time his mission against the Death Eaters ever applied to me was when Potter started the DA so that us students could defend ourselves from a crowd of dark wizards like them if needed._

As I was thinking that, I came across the members of the Inquisitorial Squad, the Slytherins that served as tools to Umbridge. They were wrestling with Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, and Neville Longbottom.

I remembered another day, in Narnia, three years ago. I was thirteen.

* * *

 _We duck as we watch the rowboat come in. Inside is a dwarf, trussed and tied. The two human guards stand, and get ready to throw him in. I don't hesitate for a second. I shoot down the guards, but the dwarf still goes in. Peter and Edmund dive in to save him, and get him out of the water._

* * *

I blinked back to the present. How's your chance to be a hero again, I thought. I drew my wand. "Releashio! Releashio! Releashio! Releashio! Releashio!" I shouted.

The hands of the members of the I.S. flew off of the others, as if they'd been burned. They began to advance onto me.

"Serpensortia!" A male voice with a Spanish accent called out.

All of the Slytherins, despite their affinity with the snake, with it being the House mascot, and Salazar Slytherin himself being a Parselmouth, began to back away slowly in fear. Granger let out a squeak of pure terror.

"Ventus tria!" I called out. A huge blast of wind shot from my wand. I trained it on the I.S. and held fast, murmuring the incantation under my breath to keep the steady stream going. Then two hands grabbed me by the waist. I dropped my wand, and a chocolate-brown hand scooped the wand out, and snatched it up.

"Zabini." I growled, as I ripped his hand away for me.

"Guess you've gotten yourself into a bit of a spot, Pevensie," he said, giving that smirk that Rabadash gave me all those years ago, like he was Aslan's gift to women.

"I wouldn't say that," I said, putting on a coy voice, and a flirtatious smile. How do I get Caspian to summon my archery supplies?

"In fact, if you'll notice, my friend still has his wand on him. He could summon help." I said.

"You haven't been talking to what was your latest boy-toy." Zabini sneered. "Guess you've dumped him, too?"

I shook my head, and dropped the act. "I've changed, Zabini." I said in a low voice. "I don't want to hurt anyone, anymore. I'm sorry, but I've lost everyone I've ever truly loved, and the one guy I fell for, well, he's moved on, and I've never got a shot with him." Don't think that I wasn't aware that the guy I was talking about was right behind me.

"Accio Susan's bow and arrows! Accio my sword!" Caspian yelled, and surely enough, into my hands, no more no less, my bow and quiver of arrows had come to me. I drew an arrow, and set my bow.

"Give me my wand, and let us go, or I'm going to shoot." I threatened.

"Never, Pevensie." Zabini said. I readied my arrows, when Delores Umbridge came running in.

"Drop the weapons, Pevensie, Diaz, if you want to remain in this school." She ordered. I hesitated only for a fraction of a second. I didn't want my precious bow and arrows in her hands, but it wasn't like I had much of a choice. I dropped it, and she scooped it up greedily. Zabini got a good grip on me, and we marched to her office.

Inside was Harry Potter, who stumbled to end a Floo call. _What did I get myself into, I wondered._

"Thank you, fifty points to Slytherin." Umbridge said, a greedy expression on her face. She held Potter by the back of his robes. "Who were you trying to contact? Dumbledore? Sirius Black? Or perhaps Hagrid?"

"I-I" Potter stuttered.

This kind of interrogation went on for a few minutes. Then: "Montague, fetch me Professor Snape."

The esteemed Potions professor came in with bat-like means, his tar-black cloak swirling about him like a rising tempest.

"Yes, Headmistress?" He asked in his monotone that had tortured students for fifteen years.

"Bring me some Veritaserum." She ordered in a simpering voice.

"You used the last of it to interrogate Mr. Potter." Snape drawled.

"Lucius spoke so highly of you!" Umbridge shrieked. "You are deliberately being unhelpful-"

"He has Padfoot! He has Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!" Potter shouted out randomly.

Then all hell had broken loose. "Where what's hidden?" Umbridge said eagerly, a twisted expression on her face.

"When I want random nonsense to be shouted at me, Potter, I'll give you a Babbling Potion." Snape sneered.

"Can you give me a poison, then?" Umbridge asked. I couldn't believe my ears. _They'd poison one of their students just to get the location of the headmaster_?

"As tempting as that would be," Snape said. "I sincerely doubt any of my poisons would act painfully enough to give you your answers until it's too late."

"I will be writing you up for this!" Umbridge threatened.

"Loosen your grip on Longbottom, Goyle, or it'll mean lots of tedious paperwork that will follow you your entire adult life." Snape said, before exiting.

 _All help is gone,_ I thought hopelessly. _Too bad my horn isn't here._

"I guess I'll have to resort to other means." Umbridge said with a twisted smile. "Perhaps the Cruciatus Curse would loosen your tongue."

"But that's illegal, Professor Umbridge!" Granger protested.

"What the minister doesn't know won't hurt him," Umbridge said in a particularly sweet voice. "Just like he didn't know that I sent those dementors."

What dementors?

"You sent those?" Potter's eyes shot wide open.

"Of course." She tittered. "Everyone was talking about doing something, but I was the only one who did anything. But you escaped that, didn't you? Well, not anymore, Potter!"

"Wait, stop, we have to tell her!" Granger burst out.

"Tell me what?" Umbridge asked.

"About the weapon Dumbledore left in the forest." Granger said in a panicked voice.

"A weapon?" Umbridge demanded.

"He only told me and Harry where it was and how to use it," Granger sobbed. "We'll show you."

Malfoy had a greedy expression on his face. "Maybe we should come with you, Professor," he said.

"Nonsense, I am a grown Ministry witch- I can handle two teenage wizards." Umbridge said haughtily. She exited with Potter and Granger.

 _I think I can take it from here,_ I thought smugly, and I then forcefully pointed Zabini's wand down with one hand, and ripped his other hand from my waist, and judo-flipped him. Montague tried to come up behind me, but I turned, and kicked him from under the knees, knocking him to the ground. I slung my quiver over my shoulder, and bow over me, and then stole my wand back of of Zabini's back pocket.

Ginny Weasley had performed a Bat-Bogey hex on Malfoy. Longbottom disarmed Goyle, and Lovegood threw Crabbe against the wall. Ron Weasley pretty much hexed Theodore Nott into unconsciousness. Caspian had taken his sword back, and had Pansy Parkinson crying for mercy backed up against the wall.

I could see another scenario from three years ago unfolding in front of me.

* * *

 _Caspian has been given a chance into battle with Miraz. He has the opportunity to kill Miraz, like he did the night of the castle rage._

 _"Don't become the monster you fear." I whispered, hoping that maybe it would turn on his good heart, to turn the tables on his sense of rage and revenge. "Don't do it. Give him mercy, give him forgiveness. Be the mighty king I know you can be."_

 _It looks as if he's about to to it. He lets out a battle cry, but then stabs the sword into the patch of grass breaking through the tile-work. He steps away, with a glare of fury, but he resists the urge to do the unthinkable._

 _"Long live King Caspian." I whispered to myself._

* * *

He looked ready to do the same to Parkinson now. I knew what was going to happen. While the rest of the room took a breath, I knew that he wouldn't do what the rest of them feared. Caspian just looked at Parkinson coldly, sheathed his sword, and turned away.

Zabini got back up and grabbed me from behind. That's when Caspian's rage really activated.

"Let go of me!" I screamed, and I was kicking, and punching, but I couldn't reach my wand, or an arrow out of my quiver, much less my bow.

Caspian smacked Zabini's side with the flat of Rhindon. In surprise, mostly, Zabini dropped me. Caspian offered a hand up, and I accepted.

"Thanks." I said.

"We need to find Harry and Hermione," Ron Weasley said. The rest of us nodded in agreement.


	17. The Department of Mysteries

We bound every one of the I.S., and made dead sure that if Snape came back, or worse, Filch, they'd need to take a minute to undo some spells before they could get answers to necessary questions. Every one of us realized that we would be expelled soon, with the deliberate attack on the headmistress's lackeys.

Well, maybe not Lovegood. But she's a much different matter.

Anyhow, we raced out to the covered bridge, where Potter and Granger were running too, blood on their clothes and faces. What happened out there, I wondered. _Is it their own?_ Both of them seemed quite unimpaired, so I had to assume that it was the blood of something else that I was seeing.

"We need to get to the Ministry, to rescue Serious." Potter said. _Does he mean Sirius Black?_

"We need transportation for eight of us," Ginny replied thoughtfully.

"Eight of us?" Potter asked.

"You didn't think the rest of us weren't coming with you, did you?" Longbottom asked.

"Absolutely not-"

"Before you say it is too dangerous," Caspian interrupted. "We fought our way out of the Inquisitorial Squad, and Umbridge's office. We're no liabilities. Take us with you."

"Well, we don't even know how we're going to get there!" Potter growled in frustration.

"I know what can take us." Lovegood said.

"What? Unless the Crumpled-Horn Snorkack can fly-" Ron said, almost jokingly. _Don't you dare make fun of Luna,_ I thought. She looked like Lucy would've if she'd reached fifteen. _Lucy got made fun of all the time for her belief in Narnia, and she and Lucy would've been good friends, if I'd just thought to introduce them._

"Oh, no, they're too small for that. I meant them." Luna pointed at the upcoming thestrals.

"There's not enough," Potter insisted.

"Oh, shut up," I interrupted. "We're coming, and you and Granger have enough blood on your face that you'll attract enough soon enough."

Potter glared at me with those two pieces of green glass. I'd seen sharper glares, though. Look into my eyes, I dared him. Try and back me down with one look.

Finally, all the thestrals we needed were there. "I can see them, and so can Caspian, Harry, Neville, and Luna." I said, starting to regard them by first name for once. "I'm going to help everyone mount, though."

I first helped Luna get on the back of the thestral, with help from Caspian, who made Hermione giggle irrationally. I was surprised at the jealousy that I felt. I thought I could keep my emotions under control, or at least jealousy.

We were actually one short, though. I glared daggers at Potter. "Forget your numbers?" I asked him.

"You can ride with me." Caspian said quietly. Everyone went quiet. I don't know what the others were thinking, but I knew what Caspian and I were both thinking.

* * *

 _I'm dispatched to hold off Telmarines. I draw my bow, and get ready to let my arrows fly. All but one hit their mark. The one that managed to avoid my arrow circles back around, and points his sword at me. I've fallen against a log- I have nowhere to run._

Aslan, please don't let it end here _, I pray. I wish my horn was at side- this is definitely my darkest hour. But I left it with Caspian and a cheesy pickup line. I can't bear to close my eyes, and watch my destruction ride to me upon a dark horse._

 _Another dark horse gallops into the clearing. Is it help for the Telmarines? Is it one of my allies. I then see the rider without a helmet. It's Caspian, and he duels the Telmarine on horseback, and knocks him off his horse, causing him to run off. He takes his horse closer to me. My heart is thumping in my chest, and my veins are ice cold._

 _"Are you sure that you don't need that horn?" He asks, a huge smile on his face. I take his hand up, and ride on horseback behind him through the woods. My hands are around his waist, and I feel like I'm flying, and not just because of the horse's speed._

* * *

I blinked back to the present. "Alright, then." I said, and I got on after him, right in between those beating leathery wings. The ride felt the same, but with not as light of an atmosphere.

 _Funny_ , I couldn't help but think. _Battles in Narnia are much more light-hearted than rescue missions in the real world._

 _Both are real_ , I reminded myself. _Despite what the Wizarding world believes about alternate dimensions, they are real. The Wood Between the World is ample proof of it._

We dropped down to a phone booth in London. We touched down, and then the thestrals flew away, out of sight before any muggle could see them and ask questions. We followed Harry into the tiny telephone booth, and he dialed a number.

"Who's here?" A cool voice said.

"Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Caspian Diaz, and Susan Pevensie. We're on a rescue mission," Harry said importantly.

Little tokens came out of a slot, little bronze squares. I picked up the one that read Susan Pevensie, Rescue Mission. As soon as we pinned our pins to our shirts, the phone booth began to go down, revealing the secret lift.

The Ministry of Magic was empty. I'd only seen it when Peter was eleven and they had him and the rest of the family registered as witches and wizards. Then, it was crowded, people everywhere. Now, it was a ghost town.

We went into another lift, and Harry got us to the Department of Mysteries in no time. It's this dark room, with several doors. We went from door to door, trying to look for the room that Harry had apparently dreamed.

He stopped, though, in a room with an arch. I could hear voices murmuring, but no one was speaking.

"We're here," I heard Peter's voice say. Then I knew. It was the voices of the dead, behind the veil and the arch. _This must be the room where the Unspeakables study death._

We tarried after that, through a room with glittering jars, showing a robin going from egg to bird, to corpse, then egg again. We then entered a room that had ancient magic about it.

It was silent. The particles of dust had otherworldliness about them, it seemed. They hovered in the same spot, making it look like time had stood still. There were tall shelves, in endless rows it seemed, of carefully marked glass orbs with cyan light resting inside.

"It was row ninety-seven." Harry remarked. We followed him, Ron, and Hermione, into a row, where they just stood there,or something.

"He's not here." Harry said.

"Harry, I think you should take a look at this." Ron said. Harry came over, and read an orb, and took it off of the shelf.

"What is this?" Harry asked.

I then gasped. Out of the shadows, Death Eaters, real Death Eaters, slinked out of the shadows. One went up even further, and threw down his hood, revealing white-blond hair to his shoulders, and the face that matched Draco Malfoy.

This is Draco Malfoy's father, I realized with a chill.

"Give us that prophecy, Potter." Malfoy demanded.

"Where is he?" Harry demanded fearlessly.

"The baby had a dweam, and when he woke up, he thought what he dweamed was twue." A female Death Eater cooed.

Caspian drew Rhindon, and I got my bow and arrows ready.

"Don't move, not yet." Harry ordered. We switched them out for our wands.

"Look at him, acting as if he means to fight us," the female Death Eater laughed.

"Ah, but he won't, Bellatrix," Malfoy drawled. "You don't know Potter like I do. The Dark Lord knows that he has a penchant for heroics."

"He's not the only one." I muttered.

"So, what's in it?" Harry asked. He was stalling. He had to be.

"Don't play games, Potter," Malfoy said.

"No, seriously." He replied.

"You don't know the meaning behind your scar all these years?" Malfoy asked. "Don't you want to know why the Dark Lord attacked you as a baby?"

"STUPEFY!" We all shouted. We then began knocking down the endless rows of prophecies, and ran. I placed my wand in my pocket, and drew my bow and notched an arrow. At the end of the rows, there was a shelf of Time-Turners. They all tumbled down, but when they hit the ground, they'd turned, and started over again, in an endless cycle.

We split up at that point, and two of the Death Eaters chased Ron, Luna, Ginny, Caspian, and I though the Space room that we entered instead. There were models of the planets, and a chart I didn't get a chance to read.

"Cael ignis!" A Death Eater shouted, right as I was about to bolt for the exit, to get the others out.


	18. Caspian's Confession

It was the most agonizing thing I ever felt. It was like lightning was dancing on my ribs, and I just wanted to close my eyes, to let it drift away...

Someone grabbed me by my waist. "Ow..." I wailed. It seemed to increase the pain, make it even worse. The agony didn't back down, though. I tried to see past the lights dancing in my vision, and saw Caspian, trying to pick me up, probably so we could escape. He had my bow over one shoulder, and was hesitant to touch again.

"It's alright, I can handle it." I promised, and I gritted my teeth. My eyes were wide open to begin with, but then the lights danced, and the pain became so bad that my eyes screwed shut. _I won't scream,_ I promised myself, in a mantra. _I will not scream. I will not scream_. I can honestly say, that like walking away from Narnia, like burying my siblings and parents, enduring the curse in silence was one of the most agonizing things I've ever done in my lifetime.

All my senses were deprived from me, until Caspian set me down, and the pain toned down. I regained smell before anything else, though. I smelled the oceans of Cair Paravel, Lucy's cordial, Caspian's hair, Peter's t-shirts, and Edmund's shampoo. Weird things, I know, but they were the odors of the people I loved, of the place I loved.

Finally, I opened my eyes, to see Caspian sitting over me patiently, wand drawn, though, if any trouble came about. I didn't recall this chamber, but then again, I wasn't exactly ever looking at the ceilings.

"It's alright if you want to let it out." He said quietly.

"Mightn't they find us?" I exhaled.

"No." He chuckled. "This is the room with the locked door."

"How'd you get it open?" I asked, attempting to sit up. Bad idea. I snapped back to the ground, in a lot of pain.

"I just thought of how I needed to find a place where you could recover." He explained.

"Uh-huh." I was gasping some more, and my own gasps were joined by his. I'd just closed my eyes. I could see a light, a white one, coming, growing stronger and stronger. I felt less pain as it grew closer.

"Susan, wake up!" Caspian had tapped my collarbone. The searing pain ripped my eyes open, and I finally understood the danger. If I surrender to the pain, it's game over.

 _But would that really be so bad,_ I reasoned. _I've been nothing short of obsessed with reuniting with my siblings. Things with Caspian were never going to work out. I could do it, without risking the space-time continuum._

"Susan, please." Both hands went to my shoulders.

"Don't touch me, please." I sobbed. That's when I realized there were white-hot tears, boiling in my cheeks. "What do you want me to do?"

"Um...keep talking." He said.

"What are we going to do if the effects don't wear off soon?" I asked through little moans and shrieks.

"Then I'll go for help." He asserted determinedly.

"You were a good friend, Caspian." I said. I fought to lift my arm, to place a hand on his shoulder. A fresh wave seared through my hand, but I held fast.

"Were?" He asked, worried now.

"Let's face it, it's better off if I go now." I muttered. "I haven't really been alive since everyone died. I've got no one left. Well, there's one, but I know the feelings aren't returned."

"Who?" He asked.

My heart pounded against my ribs, making it much more painful. Literally. _I guess he was going to find out eventually._

"You, you idiot." I said. He parted his lips to speak, but my moved my hand, and made a hushing sign. "Just hear me out. I know that you got married, and you had a kid, and you moved on. I know you probably think this is just some childish confessions, but I've never loved anyone else, romantically. You're the only one. I tried to forget about Narnia, about you, because all those memories were just too painful."

I closed my eyes. _Why fight? Why fight it, when I can see them again? Peter, Edmund,_ _Lucy, Mother, Father. I can almost hear them calling my name. There's nothing left for me in this life. It's time to go on to Aslan's Country._

"Susana, no!" Caspian shouted, and he grabbed me by the shoulders, and gave a gentle shake. I grimaced, and my eyes flew open.

"Gah!" I shrieked, and I shook with the pain that just wouldn't stop, just wouldn't go away. _How much longer can I stand this?_

"Susana, I love you."

That caught my attention. Cerulean met coffee, and we just stared for a moment.

"You were my only one, too," Caspian confessed. "Lilliandil? She was someone I loved platonically. I needed an heir, and she wanted an adventure, an escape. She was also wise, someone that would make a good queen, one the subjects would like. But true, romantic love? There was none there."

"Poor girl." I murmured.

He chuckled. "You're always so kind, so gentle."

I managed to raise my eyebrows, though that was about to give me a crippling headache. "That is why they call me Queen Susan the Gentle."

It was like the fog had lifted, and hope seemed to sing in my brain. _He likes me back- no! he loves me back!_

"Come on, let's get out of here." I said.

"But what about you?" Caspian asked.

"Carry me. I can take it." I ordered. _Time to be the Boss Queen again._

Yeah, I regretted that comment. I cursed pretty loudly, when he picked me up, but

I sure as hellfire wasn't going to sit around anymore. I wasn't going to be some pretty little Sue who couldn't fight for herself.

When we came out of the room, a battle had commenced around that arch with the veil. I needed to get into the fight, to help.

"Put me on my feet." I grunted.

"Are you sure about that?" Caspian yelled over the din.

"By the Lion's Mane, yes!" I yelled back. The drop was the very worst. I landed quite heavily on my feet, and pain surged through my legs, and wrapped around, my ribcage. "Give me my bow."

He didn't hesitate again. I whipped out an arrow and my bow, sending white-hot pain throughout my arm, but I would not stumble, I would not fall. _I have to do this._ Determination was the only thing keeping me going.

I got about three Death Eaters, before Caspian had to pull me to the floor, because of a jinx that was aimed at me. Harry, Neville, and Antonin Dolohov were fighting for the blue orb.

"We've got to get out of here!" Caspian bellowed into my ear. I nodded, and we ran (even though that hurt like hell and I was screaming out curse words left and right), into the exit, into the corridor, where a shadow was lurking. I knew who it had to be. H _e-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named._

We slumped against the wall, hands over our mouths, as we waited. Paramedics for St. Mungo's showed up, and I was taken back to the hospital wing at Hogwarts that night.

* * *

"Drink this," Madam Pomfrey said, lifting a goblet to my lips. "It'll induce a dreamless, painless sleep."

"I don't want to sleep." I fought to push the words past my weary lips. I was surprised at how hoarse my voice was. _Did I scream that much?_

The liquid was forced down my throat, and I hit the pillow, fast asleep.


	19. Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was the flower arrangement on the table next to me. Paled sprigs of lavender, in a tortishell vase, with a calming scent. For a minute, I forgot my pain. Then it sprang back into action, causing me to cry out with pain. Madam Pomfrey rushed over, obvious relief on her face.

"I was worried that you wouldn't ever wake up," she confessed. "When Mr. Diaz told me what one of them had cast, I realized that you were right, not to want to go to sleep. Sleeping potions are like water to the electricity of the spell."

"So I could've been short-circuited?" I asked, as she helped me sit up, sending a crackle through my spine, causing me to wince.

"Exactly." Madam Pomfrey said, in a motherly tone. She leaned in. "You know, you've found a real friend in Mr. Diaz. He's been here before classes and after classes every day, making sure that your pulse was still going." She straightened and poured a bit of water into the tortishell vase, using her wand.

"He found these by the lake, and thought maybe you'd like to see them when you woke up." She said, with a sneaky grin. "That boy really is special, isn't he?"

"Yeah." I replied. _I was so mean, before. Constantly pushing away, telling him that he wouldn't understand, never lying, but never telling the honest-to-goodness truth_. A feeling of appreciation for what I had surged over me. _How could I have ever wanted to throw it all away?_

Until that point, I hadn't understood how lucky I truly had been. I'd been allowed to still experience worldly things, and I'd been given a second chance at true love. Yet I'd been ungrateful, and still had lived in the past.

"Oh, that's him, now!" Madam Pomfrey winked at me, and hurried over to administer what looked like thirty different elixirs to Hermione. She was right. His face was in a relieved smile, and he was making lengthy strides to me, going as quickly as he could without violating Madam Pomfrey's rule of no running in the hospital wing- not even in emergencies.

"You're awake." Caspian said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I winced from the pain that seared there. "Oh, right, sorry. No touch. I forgot."

 _Can you feel the love tonight?_

I still made a smile. "At long last, I guess." I said.

He stood there, and we settled into a comfortable silence. Nothing needed to be said, not with the looks between our eyes.

 _The peace of the evening brings_

 _The world for once in perfect harmony_

 _With all its living things_

"Susana, I promise you, your siblings would've wanted you to stay, too." Caspian said, taking my hand. I could see something in those dark eyes. I was reminded of my own analyzations from before he arrived.

 _So many things to tell her_

 _But how to make her see_

 _The truth about my past, impossible,_

 _she'd turn away from me_

"I've realized how ungrateful I've been," I admitted. "How selfish."

He shrugged, a rather regal thing, like anything a Once and Future King or Queen of Narnia does. "We're all a bit selfish sometimes, Susana. In fact, it's considered healthy to feel it every once in a while. As for ungrateful- perhaps at times, but again, aren't we all? Besides, you were grieving."

 _He's holding back, he's hiding_

 _But what, I can't decide_

 _Why won't he be the king I know he is?_

 _The King I see inside?_

"Well..." I paused on that. "I won't be the girl I was before you showed up." I vowed. "Shallow, always going around and using guys to move on, I won't be the one who takes presents and allows herself to be some sort of accessory." I paused again. "I won't became the kind of girl I hate."

 _Can you feel the love tonight?_

 _The peace of the evening brings_

 _The world for once in perfect harmony_

 _With all its living things_

"You never really were that, from what I saw," Caspian insisted.

I smiled even bigger. "You always did see the best in me."

 _Can you feel the love tonight?_

 _You needn't look too far_

 _Stealing through the night's uncertainties_

 _Love is where they are_

He smiled, too. "I love you, Susana. I mean that- no backing down, nothing of the sort. I've had a lot longer to think about this."

"I think I know what we'll always choose." I replied. Then he leaned in and kissed me.

 _And if he feels the love tonight_

 _In the way I do_

 _It's enough for this restless wanderer_

 _Just to be with you_

I'll admit, we pulled away rather quickly, due to the whole lightning curse thing. Yet we knew one important thing- it was always each other, for both of us.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"Three whole days, if you can believe it." Caspian answered. "Madam Pomfrey almost thought that she'd killed you."

"Wasn't one kid out for a week, though?" I asked, remembering back to my first year.

"Yes, but you have no idea how faint your pulse was. I could barely feel it." He replied, taking my hand gently. "It's stronger now."

I blushed, and looked to my right- I jumped. Umbridge was sitting there, lifelessly, with a few leaves and such. She paid me no mind, but it was still quite startling to see.

"Dumbledore retrieved her from the forest. No one knows what happened," He explained. "She doesn't even usually show signs of life."

"Unless you do this-" Ginny hissed. Then she made clip-clop sounds with her tongue. Umbridge jumped, and looked around wildly, as we tried to stifle our giggles.

"Is something wrong, Madam Umbridge?" Madam Pomfrey called over. Umbridge's expression was like a deer's in headlights.

"Oh, nothing. I thought I'd heard something." She said in a soft voice that wasn't sickly-sweet as before.

Madam Pomfrey gave a suspicious look at Ginny, Ron, and Hermione, and she walked into her office. When she came back, she was carrying a crate of tubs of salves or bottles of potions.

"I've got to administer some salves where you got hit. It's probably going to to sting a little." She explained, almost apologetic. I took Caspian's hand, as she rolled up the t-shirt I'd worn to the Department of Mysteries, so that my stomach showed, right where it hit. As soon as the salve made contact with the skin there, I nearly flinched due to the sting. I squeezed Caspian's hand, and bit my tongue fiercely.

When she was done, she pulled up the bed sheet rather quickly, eying Caspian in a suspicious way.

"That's it, sweetie. The rest is for Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley. Miss Weasley should be released later today." Madam Pomfrey said.

"I take it that it's not good stuff?" He asked. I made a grimace, and he laughed. "Susan, you must be one of the most resilient women I have known."

"That stuff isn't that bad."

"No, not just that. You survived a deadly curse last night. You've survived losing everyone you cared about. You survived thinking that the one man you loved, the one who loved you in return all along, and that he moved on without you. You've survived losing your kingdom. You're like a fir tree." He told me, taking both of my hands.

I knew I was blushing quite a bit. "Well, thanks." I said.

"We're going to have fun, this summer." He said.

"This summer?" My stomach plummeted. "Where will you be staying? Please don't go back to Aslan's Country, not yet, not when we were so close-"

"Susana, the headmaster has arranged that I stay with your aunt and uncle. They're okay with it." Caspian explained.

"Why didn't they write anything about that?" I demanded.

"It was a surprise." He shrugged.

"You had me going for a minute, there, Cas." I replied, placing a hand over my heart.

"Cas?" He asked.

"I'm your Susana, you're my Cas. Any more questions?" I answered.

"Can you feel the love tonight?" He whispered. I laughed.

"Who told you about that song?"

"Lavender Brown. She tried it on me during Divination, today."

"She's hitting on you?"

"Define 'hitting on me.'"

I stared at him in shock. _Stupid lion! Couldn't you define some important slang like that?_ I swallowed. "Flirting. Courting. Wooing."

"Oh." His eyes became as big a saucers. "Then I guess she has been."

"I'm going to set her straight." I muttered. "Even if I have to crawl out of this bed to do it."

"Don't worry about that. I told her that I was interested in someone else." Caspian replied.

"You're amazing, Cas." I said.

"Don't you forget it." He said with a wink.

"Shouldn't you go and do your homework, Diaz?" Ron called out, looking thoroughly disgusted.

"I'll visit you later, Susana." He said, suddenly aware of the others, and he walked away. I turned a death glare onto Ron. Yes, I was known as the gentle, but even the gentle can be fierce. I can actually pull one off quite well, thanks to having blue eyes.

"What?" Ron demanded. Hermione and Ginny exchanged a glance, and rolled their eyes. "I think we all should've been spared watching them."

Cue the eye roll again. "Plus, he's out of his mind, sorry, if he wants to go out with you. No offense, Susan, but you kinda use guys."

 _This is going to come up so many times from here,_ I realized numbly. _The next time Lavender hits on Caspian. The next time that Zabini tries to get me back. Whenever we pass in the hallways. Any time that we're out on a date, and someone from school sees us. Whenever Anthony Goldstein flirts with me._

I sat up straighter, despite the shooting pains. "Listen to me here, right now, Ronald Weasley. What I may have done in the past has nothing to do with right now, or my future. Caspian Diaz is the only one. The only one, you hear me? If you tell me again that he's out of his mind to want me, I'm sorry, but you don't know enough to make that judgement." I fired.

There were slight smiles on Hermione's face and Ginny's. "How long have you known him?" Hermione asked.

"We were on holiday in Spain, two years ago, and we met. It was a whirlwind romance, I guess you could say." I said. That was one way to describe it.

"That's so romantic!" Ginny gushed. I turned pink.


	20. Understanding Pansy Parkinson

My house acted proud of me for the next few days, since I earned fifty points for participating in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, as it would come to be called. I was just grateful that I was never mentioned in the newspapers. I didn't need that.

I was released two days after I woke in the hospital. Apparently, the hex was quite easy to remedy, unlike poor Hermione and Ron. I strolled by the lake with Caspian, enjoying every minute of our discussions about everything. Narnia, the Wizarding world, the muggle world, just about everything that mattered.

"Everything's going to be changing, soon." Caspian said.

"Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before," I argued, entwining my hand into his.

"It's becoming harder to know who to trust." He replied, looking at our shadows on the beach.

"All we can do is try to know who your friends are as we head off to the war." I advised him.

"Sounds like a song we have in Narnia." Caspian observed.

"I forgot that Edmund wrote 'The Call,'" I mused.

"Wait- Edmund wrote that? I thought it was Swanwhite, for some reason." He replied in shock.

I smirked. "Despite being a Slytherin, and 'The Just' with the broody, anti-hero complex, Eddie was quite a good poet. Especially towards that Hermione Granger. He had this schoolboy crush on her."

"I had no idea." He grinned mischievously, too.

"Oh, Peter and Lucy teased him mercilessly about it, so I doubt you could add much more original material." I said.

"I'm sure." He said.

"Hey, Pevensie!" I turned around to see Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle, Parkinson, and Malfoy. What do you want?

"Finally found a new boy-toy?" Zabini taunted.

"Excuse me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows imperiously.

"Come on, Susan. We all know that you're using him, just like you used me." Zabini said, fire in his eyes.

I was sorry that I'd hurt him so, or at least, I would've been if he weren't such a jerk about it!

I linked arms with Caspian. "Let's go, Cas." I said, and we only took five steps, when Zabini called out, "Don't you know, Diaz?"

"Keep walking." Caspian whispered in my ear. "You don't need to fight this." We continued on, until a hand was on my shoulder. I looked over, surprised, to see Zabini smirk.

"Why are you giving this poor boy a spin, love? Why haven't you dumped him for the grand prize, Potter, now that he's desirable again?" He taunted.

"Leave her alone!" Caspian shouted, pulling up his sleeves.

"You wanna fight, muggle style? You forget, boy, we have wands." Zabini sneered, drawing his own, as well as Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy.

"Then let's try a purely muggle-style fight. No wands." Caspian argued. Malfoy and Zabini sized up the situation. Then they looked at Crabbe and Goyle, and then they smirked even bigger.

"Let's do it." Zabini said. They then jumped him, Crabbe and Goyle trying to hold him down. Zabini and Malfoy were trying to aim kicks and such. Caspian was doing his best, throwing them off before a good kick or punch from Malfoy or Zabini could be landed, and blocked any of their attempts.

Goyle then shoved Caspian against the wall, and Crabbe kicked his legs out from under it. Malfoy then punch him, right over his right eye, and Zabini aimed a kick to the ribs.

I knew what I had to do. I ran right into the fray.

"Stop!" I ordered, just as Zabini was about to aim another kick. He did it anyway, but aimed higher, kicking me in the stomach. It knocked me to the ground, absolutely breathless. I lay there only for a second, but then I got right back up, joining the fight. I slammed Zabini against the wall, and whipped around to see Goyle trying to aim his fist at me. I caught it before it could land, and redirected on his face.

Caspian and I were back to back, fists raised, knees bent, ready to aim for the best spots. I kicked at Zabini when he went back at me again, and judo-flipped Goyle. Caspian punched Malfoy in the face, who staggered backwards, and he kicked Crabbe's legs out from under him.

I was looking for my next opponent, when Zabini came up from behind, and slammed me to the ground, and Crabbe and Goyle restrained Caspian. I had a bad feeling about what was going to go down right then and there. I was kicking and screaming, but no help was coming. I had to try to save myself.

"Releashio!" I heard. Zabini's hands came off of me. "Flipendo!" Malfoy, who'd been creepily close, went flying backwards. "Releashio." Crabbe and Goyle released Caspian. We turned to see who had saved us.

Pansy Parkinson, with her shoulder-length dark hair, and conflicted aquamarine eyes, held her wand up. "Just because a girl dates lots of guys doesn't mean you're entitled to be with her!" She shouted at her friends, who were now cowering against the castle wall. "She's not yours, an accessory to own and flaunt! She wants Caspian because he wants to be with her, not to have her! Don't you get it?"

She sighed and looked down at the ground then at me. "Besides," she said, addressing me. "Crazy girls like us have to settle down sometime."

I nodded, and it was like I understood Pansy Parkinson for the first time. Like me, she was pretty into boys, and had flirted with them every day. We both were looking for that one true love in our lives.

"I wish the best to you, Pansy." I said, shaking her hand. "Thank-you."

"You're welcome," she said, looking at me in regret. "If these idiots give you trouble, come find me, and I'll take care of them."

"Thank you, Miss Parkinson. You are as virtuous as you are pretty." Caspian said, as he kissed her hand. She smiled and nodded respectfully. She then grabbed her guy friends by their collars, and dragged them away.

"I never considered how kind Pansy could be." I said aloud. _Maybe we should speak more often._

* * *

The rest of the school year passed by rather quickly, the way I saw it. In no time, we were at the End-of-Year feast, where Umbridge finally ran- and we all chased her from the castle with the help of Peeves.

On the train, Caspian and I were planning summer adventures.


	21. Homecoming

**AN: Sorry that this took so long. I've been busy with another project,** **Apples and Snakes** **, and I've been neglecting this. Don't worry, two chapters should come out this weekend.**

Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold were waiting for us at the train station, on the muggle side. Harry Potter had a crowd of his own, but I took Caspian's hand, and pulled him over with our luggage on a cart to them.

"Hello, Aunt Alberta, Uncle Harold." I said, and I hugged Aunt Alberta, and then Uncle Harold. I stepped back.

"So this is Caspian Diaz, correct?" Uncle Harold asked, gesturing at him next to me.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Scrub, sir." Caspian said, as he shook Uncle Harold's hand.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Caspian." Aunt Alberta said, somewhat warmly.

"Shall we get going, then?" I asked, taking my luggage cart.

"Yes, let's go out to the car." Aunt Alberta said. We then went out to the car, loaded up the luggage between the two of us, and got in the backseat. Uncle Harold eyed us a bit suspiciously, but said nothing. The drive was pretty quiet, except for the grunge bands on my aunt and uncle's car radio, which fascinated Caspian.

We pulled into the suburb, and Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold exchanged a glance.

"Right, Caspian, why don't I show you into the house?" Aunt Alberta asked, as she got out from the front seat. He nodded, and got out of the car, and followed her. I made to follow, when Uncle Harold stopped me.

"Could you help me with your luggage?" He grunted. I nodded.

"Sorry, I'd forgotten." I said gently. I walked around to the back, and lifted my trunk out first.

"Is he your new boyfriend?" Uncle Harold asked.

"What?" I whirled around to face him, sending my wavy dark hair flying.

"Your aunt and I see how you two look at each other." He said.

"Where's this going?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

"We just think you should be a bit careful. Your breaking things off with Eric was a bit sudden, and if it was for this boy, which I think it was, it was hasty. Susan, love doesn't last at your age." Uncle Harold warned.

 _Who is he to tell me this? Doesn't he see, doesn't he know that I've been waiting for him? Couldn't he have seen at the very least how happy I truly am?_

 _I knew true love at thirteen._

"But sometimes it does," I argued. "Besides, there's a lot more then you know with me and Caspian."

His eyes widened. "Susan! You don't mean that you're-"

"NO!" I shouted. "Not what I meant! I meant that there's some advanced chemistry."

Uncle Harold visibly relaxed. "I just don't want you to throw anything away for some boy."

"I understand." I said. I wasn't normally an impulsive thinker, and from their perspective, this was impulsive. Maybe it really was. I knew enough, though, to know that he was it. My only one.

"Let's get this inside, then, Susan." Uncle Harold said. We took the luggage out, and took it to the two rooms- mine, and the one that used to be Eustace's.

"Your aunt and uncle seem fairly nice." Caspian said, when I found him looking around a bit in Eustace's room.

"They can be." I said rather ambiguously.

"Oh, did your uncle give you a talk about us dating?" He asked.

I nodded, and looked at the photographs on the dresser, perfectly preserved. "Did my aunt do the same to you?"

"Not really. She just asked me if I was interested in you." He replied mildly. "Is that Eustace?"

"I'd forgotten that you'd met him." I said softly. "My aunt and uncle are his parents, you see."

"He was rather nice after he transformed into a dragon." He remarked.

I peeked out the open door. My aunt and uncle weren't in sight. "Don't talk so openly about Narnia! Not here!" I hissed. "They never belonged to the magical world."

"Oh. Sorry."

* * *

The summer was an interesting one, to say the least. I got plenty of Ministry flyers and such, warning about the Imperius Curse and Polyjuice Potion, and how Death Eaters could be lurking anywhere and everywhere.

I finally received my driver's license, and often took Caspian out on drives in the family car. The windows would be down, and the breeze created would blow our hair in fantastic hairstyles.

Then there was the day that Caspian and Eric met. It was an ordinary summer morning, and my aunt and I were spreading out the breakfast things before she and Uncle Harold had to go to work, and Caspian and I were given a list of chores, or were dropped off in some public area.

"What will you be doing, today?" Aunt Alberta asked.

"I think we both wouldn't mind going to the park, if you don't mind driving us." I said, sharing a glance with Caspian.

"A wonderful place for young people," Uncle Harold commented approvingly.

"Of course, I'll be happy to drop you off." Aunt Alberta said with a soppy smile, and she and Uncle Harold exchanged a look.

 _Ding-dong._

"I'll get it," I announced, and I got to my feet, and ran into the foyer, and opened the door. Eric was standing there, in a t-shirt and khakis, looking only slightly uncomfortable.

"I'm having a party tomorrow night, and I was wondering if you and that foreign exchange student from your boarding school might want to come." He said, and he passed me an invitation that was a folded piece of nice, embellished paper the color of faded parchment.

"What's the occasion?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, no occasion, I guess just to have fun this summer," Eric said with a shrug.

"Let me just ask if my aunt and uncle are doing something, and I'll get back to you." I replied, with a faint smile.

"Tell me, Susan, are you and the Spanish guy... Does he make you happy?" He asked

"He does. Tell, me, Eric, have you found someone?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, she's absolutely wonderful. Maybe you should meet Maude at the party. I think you two would get along." Eric replied, and then he moved on to the next house.

"Who was that?" Aunt Alberta asked as I returned to the dining room.

"Eric- he wanted to invite me and Caspian to a party tomorrow night." I said. "Would it be okay if we went?"

"Of course, I really think you two should go to a party, especially you, Susan." Aunt Alberta said, almost too encouraging.

"I'd like to try this." Caspian said. Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold's heads turned to stare uncomfortably at him.

"Boy, you've never been to a party?" Uncle Harold demanded.

"Not ones like the ones around here, I'm sure." Caspian laughed. "I've been to a few balls, but trust me, I was studying a lot."

"A Ravenclaw like Su, then, I'm guessing!" Uncle Harold cried, slapping him on the back. "When she was little, and her mother and father were still shunting her around from house to house, she would be studying so often, always pointing out to Lucy about science and such."

I turned a shade of vermillion at the discussion of my home life, a long time ago. I was a very different girl then, one whose only love was books and my siblings.

"Shunting her from house to house?" Caspian asked.

Uncle Harold picked up on the look I was giving him. "I ought to let Susan explain. At the park."

"Alright then." Caspian said, still eying me strangely.

* * *

"What was going on about house-to-house?" He asked, now that we were in the park.

I hesitated. "I didn't exactly have a stable childhood. My parents were very poor, living in poverty in London. They were often searching for jobs and such, and sometimes didn't come home for days at a time, because they were still searching, I guess, or maybe they couldn't stand to come home with no money.

"Peter and I had to grow up pretty quickly to make sure that Edmund and Lucy didn't have to." I looked down at my ankles. "Sometimes, our parents would send us to our aunt and uncle's, or to one of their friends. One time, Child Welfare Services got involved, and they sent us to Lord Digory's house- you've met him in Aslan's Country, right? Anyways, we stayed with him for a year, while our parents cleaned up their act. Mother and Father got a temporary job in America the summer after my third year, and I got taken with them to America. Peter got sent back to Lord Digory's, and Edmund and Lucy were sent to live with Eustace, Aunt Alberta, and Uncle Harold. That was the summer that you met them on the Dawn Treader.

"They'd returned back to London for the school year, and actually had gotten a steady job when the train crash happened." I finished explaining. "That's what Uncle Harold was referring to."

"I had no idea." Caspian said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"In Narnia, I'm a legendary queen. No one really thinks of legendary queens as people," I said. "At Hogwarts, I get enough crap for being from a muggle family, so that was something I didn't want to exactly advertise."

"I never knew." He said simply. "I mean, everyone pretty much knew about my parents being dead, but no one in Narnia ever knew about the Golden Age's background."

"I think Mr. Tumnus knew." I said airily. "Lucy shared everything with him. They were fairly close. Not to mention the Beavers, but they were long gone by the time that you were alive."

"Well, I don't care who your family is, or was," Caspian said, taking my hands into his. "Well, except for your brothers, sister, and cousin, but that's because I knew them. I still love you."

I smiled. "I love you, too, Cas."

"What kind of parties do they have here in England?" He then asked.

"Well, we dress semi-formal, for you that means the tan shorts with the pockets and the polo shirt, I'll show you which one that is, and I'll be wearing makeup and a dress. We mostly hang out, do a very different sort of dancing, talk, things like that." I explained.

"How is the dancing different?" Caspian asked. I got to my feet.

"It's like this," I explained, and I began swaying, and moving my arms around. "That's how people in my era dance."

"Like this?" Caspian began to copy my moves.

"You've got it." I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.

"I prefer our way." He said, taking the position of many a prince in my days as Queen Susan the Gentle.

"It is a lot more fun." I agreed, taking my spot. We began to twirl and glide, despite the people watching us with interested looks.

"I'm just happy that we can dance together now." Caspian whispered into my ear.


	22. A Midsummer Night's Party

"Susan, it's about time to go!" Caspian called from the foyer.

"Coming!" I cried, and then I checked my lipstick in the mirror. A bright cherry red, it deeply contrasted my eyes and the white spotted blue dress I was wearing to said party. My hair was curled, but not as much as it had been that last day in Narnia. It was enough that it was pleasantly wavy.

I then descended the stairs gracefully, like Queen Susan would've, the legendary Gentle Queen. I smiled as I remembered those days, when men would practically faint at the very sight of me, and all would crowd around me, trying to flirt.

 _But none of them were as right for me as the one in front of me,_ I thought as Caspian took my hand and kissed it.

"Can we take pictures?" Aunt Alberta asked, holding up the big black camera. I faked a groan.

"We don't have a choice, do we?"

"Nope." Aunt Alberta replied cheerfully, and we began a few poses, before she allowed us out the door and down the street to Eric's. Music practically shook the house, and party lights decorated the porches. They weren't needed quite yet, as the sun was still setting and had turned the sky the color of cat vomit, if you fed him the right amount of salmon for a few weeks.

"Hey, Susan, and-" Eric stopped.

"Caspian." Caspian said pridefully.

"Yeah, Caspian. I'm so glad you guys could come. Help yourselves to the snacks, and you know where the bathroom is if you need it, Su." Eric said, before turning to some more late visitors.

We walked in, and all the teenagers from the local high school, it seemed, was dancing. We were dancing ourselves, for a little bit, until the sun went down, and we'd gone outside with glasses of coke.

"This is what they call Coke?" Caspian asked, pointing at the can I'd given him.

"Yes, it's a very popular drink in the muggle world." I said. "Wizards don't know about it, though, since they have their own culture."

"How do you get it open?" He asked.

"Like this." I demonstrated, without even breaking one of my cherry-red nails. "Might want to drink it slowly, though." I remembered the one time I'd given Lucy a can, and she downed it, and was making valiant burps, although Peter's were quite magnificent since Edmund and Lucy had invited him into a contest with them.

"Like this?" Caspian then repeated the motion, and the sticky soda squirted onto his light blue and white polo.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I cried. "I'll go home quickly and get another shirt. Just stay here." I turned to hurry away, while there was still time to get the stain out. I hurried past a few people, when I accidentally bumped into a guy.

"I am so sorry about that." I said, before regaining my balance, and I took a step to move on to the door, when the guy I bumped grabbed my arm.

"Susan Pevensie?" The guy asked. Then I recognized his brown hair slicked back, and his indigo eyes. It was Joey Landredth, one of the biggest players at Cromwell High. I'd kissed him once and flirted with him countless times when we had met at some of Eric's social events, but otherwise had had no ties to.

"Yes." I said, putting on my diplomatic face. "Joey Landredth, correct?"

"You didn't remember, Pevensie?" Joey asked, a creepy smile on his face.

"I'm afraid I've been quite busy this year at school," I replied.

"Then why don't you take some time and get to know me again?" He asked, pulling me close, hand on my waist, in a slight dip. I pushed to get back up, but he had me locked in his embrace. "Why all the rush, Pevensie?"

"I've got to grab a shirt for my boyfriend; he spilled a coke all over his current one." I said, and I forcefully pushed away from him. _He's creepy now._

"You've finally picked one, Pevensie?" Landredth sounded surprised. "You mean that weird Spanish guy you came in with? I heard that he's a transfer student at your boarding school."

I hated how disgusted he sounded. "Yes, he's a transfer student, and he's staying with me for the summer." I explained coolly. "Caspian makes me happy."

"Well, now that you're done with the widow act," Landredth gave a little suggestive shrug. "Maybe you should expand your tastes again."

No. I'll never be that girl again. I merely swallowed down my guilt, and I gave him a cold look. "I'm staying faithful."

"That never meant anything to you before." Landredth then pinned me against the wall, and I tried to kick his legs out from underneath him, but he still remained steady.

"Leave me alone, Landredth!" I cried. I wasn't afraid of making a scene, not now. "Get off!" Everyone was staring now, but no one would help, as I tried to punch, hit, and kick. Eric then came out, holding a punch cup, and dropped it, and sprinted outside.

"Why change, Pevensie?" Landredth whisper. "You're always gonna attract attention." He leaned in to kiss me, when Caspian, Eric, and some boy I'd never seen before with a rather round face, androgynous body, and short jet-black hair came up behind Landredth, and pulled him off of me.

"Get out of my house." Eric snarled, holding Landredth by the collar of his shirt.

"What I do?" Landredth asked, playing the stupid kid.

"You forced yourself on Susana, when she clearly said no!" Caspian yelled.

"So? We used to go for a spin, Spainard. You should really dump her, before she dumps you again." Landredth said, with a dirty smirk.

"Funny, how many people tell me that." Caspian said.

"They tell me that, too." The androgynous boy added.

"Let me tell you, I'm never dumping Susan Pevensie. She's never dumping me. We'll be together for a long time, so you'd do better to wrap your head around that now." Caspian finished in a low voice. Eric then escorted Joey Landredth to the door, and the party resumed.

"I'm sorry about that," Eric said. "I didn't think that he'd create trouble."

"Well, thanks for helping me." I said.

"Sorry I didn't help sooner, but I had to get your boyfriend and mine because they have more muscle than I do." Eric replied.

"Your boyfriend?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'd been meaning to tell you that." Eric said nervously. "I'm bisexual."

I smiled, and hugged him. "I'm so happy for you, Eric!" I cried. "My brother was gay, so I understand."

"Was it Edmund or Peter?" Eric asked.

"Peter, actually." I said.

"Dang, that explains a lot." Eric said, shaking his head.

"Hi, I'm Will." His boyfriend said awkwardly.

"It's nice to meet you." I said,

"Thanks for your hospitality, but I think it would be best if we headed home." Caspian said, shaking hands with both boys.

"You're welcome, have a good night." Will said.

"So, what did those words mean?" Caspian asked as we strolled lazily down the street.

"Which ones?" I asked.

"Bisexual, gay... I thought gay meant happy." He said, the picture of confusion.

I burst out laughing. "Sorry, sorry," I reassured him. "It's just that- oh well, never mind. Bisexual means that Eric's attracted to both guys and girls. Gay can also mean homosexual, which in this case means that Peter liked guys."

"Oh." His eyes burst open. "That makes a ton of sense, actually."

"Well, glad I can explain something to someone," I said bitterly.

"Susana, I'm sorry that that man tried to force himself upon you," said Caspian sincerely. "You are no one's possession, and men shouldn't feel like they're entitled to a woman. I want you to know that I've never felt that way- in fact, often enough, I feel like I don't even deserve you. You're a queen of legend, one known for her kindness and diplomacy, one who never missed a shot and seemed so untouchable. I only hope that you consider me worthy of you."

"I'm not afraid of you." I said, a smile playing on my face. "I'm a better shot, anyhow."

He smiled. "That much is true. Even with a manual bow, you could hit that pinecone."

"You were close," I offered.

"But still so far out of reach." He said, putting his arm around me. We slipped into a comfortable silence, as we completed the distance between Eric's and my house. _Not anymore,_ I thought, looking to the starlit sky.


	23. The Love of a Sister

"Today's the O.W.L. scores!" I shrieked as I ran downstairs in a bathrobe to the kitchen. Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold, who were both fully dressed, gave me a strange look. "They're exams that determine the rest of my life!"

"Calm down, have a cup of coffee, Susan." Aunt Alberta said firmly. "I won't have you running about in this state."

"Right, sorry, sorry." I took my usual spot across from Caspian, who just smiled indulgently at me, and placed his hand on the top of the table. I then took his hand, and smiled, too.

Then two owls holding our results flew in. All bets were off, and I ran to the owl. I practically ripped the letter off of its leg, and Caspian took his a bit more calmly. My heart was pounding, and I think I might've been sweating.

 _Dear Miss Pevensie,_

 _These are your results to the Ordinary Wizarding Levels (often abbreviated as O.W.L.)._

 _Transfiguration O_

 _Charms O_

 _Defense Against the Dark Arts O_

 _History of Magic O_

 _Potions O_

 _Herbology O_

 _Care of Magical Creatures O_

 _Alchemy O_

 _Divination O_

 _Magical Theory O_

 _Passing Grades_

 _O- Outstanding_

 _E- Exceeds Expectations_

 _A- Acceptable_

 _Failing Grades_

 _P- Poor_

 _D- Dreadful_

 _T- Troll_

I laughed in relief.

"What's happened?" Uncle Harold asked.

"I've got the top grades for all of my classes!" I cried.

"Congratulations," chorused everyone in the kitchen.

"Thanks," I said, blushing. I hugged my aunt and uncle, and then threw my arm around Caspian. "What were your results, Cas?"

"An E in Transfiguration, Charms, and Magical Theory. T in History of Magic, and an A in Herbology. I got an O in Care of Magical Creatures and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Oh, and an A in Potions." He said.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you!" I cried, and I gave him a little peck on the cheek. "This means we need to go to Diagon Alley and pick up our school things."

"We'll drop you off in London later today." Uncle Harold promised.

* * *

In London, we were dropped off to be picked up again at 2:00. We had to get supplies for the careers and classes we had in mind. I had owled Professor Flitwick, with that I wanted to change my career choice, and he happily agreed to hear me out. Caspian, however, was going to try to be an Auror, since that was rather suited to his natural talents.

"First, let's restock our potions kits at the Apothecary, then we'll hit Flourish and Blott's, and we'll finally take a look at Madam Malkin's, after we get our gold out of the vaults at Gringotts." I'd said. "Didn't you say that Aslan gave you a vault?"

"Yes, I've got the key." He showed me an elaborate key with an X sticking out of it and a lion's head.

"Good." I said with a smile.

Let me tell you, it took a good hour to get our bank vault, and I had to keep being patient the whole process.

The Apothecary constantly checked over our goods, trying to make sure we weren't smuggling any illegal ingredients out, or that we weren't smuggling any evil ingredients in. I think we were both relieved when that entire ordeal was over.

"Can we visit that shop?" Caspian, asked, almost childlike in his request. I looked to the direction he was pointing. There was a large orange storefront with purple fliers stuck to the window similar to the Ministry ones, but they were reading toilet jokes rather than warnings about Polyjuice Potion and Death Eaters on the loose. _Weasley's Wizard Wheezes_ , the sign read.

I shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

In Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, I was examining the daydreams box, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a face that looked so similar to Lucy. She was a brunette, though, and there were slight little changes, here and there, but otherwise, they looked very similar. My heart almost stopped, though, when I saw who was with her. There were slight changes, enough that the kids at Hogwarts wouldn't recognize them.

Those changes couldn't fool the love of a sister, though.

I took off, trying to trail the trio, and try to get to them. There was quite the crowd in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, though, and I lost them. Once I lost complete sight, I started towards the exit, and began crying on the front steps. _Was it so bad to want my siblings back?_ I didn't think so.

"What's wrong?" Caspian asked, taking the stair next to him. I sniffled.

"Sorry, I just thought I saw three kids who looked like my siblings." I explained. "I just thought, maybe for a minute..."

"Susana," said Caspian gently. "Aslan couldn't bring them back, since people would recognize them."

"I know, I know," I sobbed, burying my head in his chest. "I thought that maybe I'd finally moved on, until something like this happens, and then I realize that I haven't."

"It isn't easy," he admitted. "I remember when my wife and son were gone." _Great, thanks for the little reminder of that little fact._ "It took so long to get over it, but I made it thorough, eventually."

"You've forgotten, you've been to Aslan's Country," said I quite logically. "You've been able to be with them for quite some time, now, at least in the Narnian timeline, you have."

"True, I have existed longer than you, Susan, in the Narnian timeline, and I have had the advantage of time, although it couldn't erase the true hurt that was missing the entire time," he acknowledged. "Time is all you need." He placed his hand over mine. "That's something we've got plenty of."


	24. The Slug Club

"It's been nice, having you visit, Caspian," Aunt Alberta said, throwing her arms around him. "I certainly hope that you'll visit again next summer."

"I probably will," Caspian replied. "My sponsor wants me to stay in England until my seven school years are up."

"But what about your parents, boy?" Uncle Harold asked. "Won't they want to see you within the next two years?"

Caspian grew very quiet, and I knew who he was thinking of. "My mother and father are dead. They were dead when I was only a baby. Since then, my aunt and uncle raised me- and they aren't kind people, not like you at all. Trust me, they are grateful that I am here."

"Aw. I'm sorry." Aunt Alberta said. I checked my watch.

"We've got to go in five minutes," I said. "Take care, Aunt Alberta." I hugged her. "You too, Uncle Harold." I hugged him as well.

"We can't wait to see what you become, Susan." Uncle Harold said. "I know we don't say that enough, but you've changed so much from last year. You're...getting better, and I think you've finally discovered what matters."

"You're right, I have." I said.

"Well, we shouldn't keep you," Aunt Alberta said, eying the clock in the station that was closest to us.

Caspian and I then grabbed our trolley we stacked our stuff on top of, and we went through the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10. Inside, Ministry people were checking us through throughly before we went onto the train, and our luggage, before it got loaded into the luggage compartment. We decided to take a seat in the public compartment, which kind of resembled a dining car.

"Just to think, last year, I was moping over my siblings' deaths," I murmured, thinking back. "I made myself believe that Narnia was pretend to cope with things, and I let myself forget."

"True love can change things, can't they?" Caspian said, holding my hands over the tabletop. I saw a happiness glimmering in those dark eyes, and one of those types of smiles that made you go "what?"

I realized that I was smiling, too, and I felt my cheeks flush, and I looked down.

"Pansy, I've been given an opportunity that we've all only dreamed of," Malfoy was bragging to Blaise Zabini, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson. I involuntarily glanced over at Parkinson, and we shared a glance, nodded almost imperceptibly, and went back to our conversations.

"I wonder how things will be different at Hogwarts," Caspian asked aloud.

"Tighter security, I'm guessing," I said.

"Good thing that we hid your bow and arrows and your brother' sword in the secret compartment in my trunk." He whispered.

"Indeed." I replied in a low voice.

"I wonder what's about to come next? Aslan said a full conflict was going to come out, and that fight in- what was it called? The Department of Mysteries? I don't think that was entirely what he was talking about." He pondered.

"We're in a war, or at least, that's what the Daily Prophet has been saying, and the new laws and such certainly support this theory." I said in a low voice. "I think that is what Aslan was talking about." I leaned in a little bit closer. "I think he wants us to join the Order of the Phoenix."

"Didn't the Daily Prophet say that the Order of the Phoenix was Dumbledore's adult army?" He asked.

"Pretty much, but you have to be seventeen and have gotten out of school, first." I explained. "My birthday comes December, and yours is October, so after this year and the next, we'll be allowed to join, and we can fight against You-Know-Who."

"Tell me again, why don't people here just say Voldemort?" He asked. Everybody looked around, especially the dark-haired trio in the compartment behind us. They were the same ones I'd glimpsed in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

"We don't say it because we're afraid of him. Or something like that." I said, refusing to admit that I just never really knew why, and if someone had explained it to me, I'd long forgotten.

"I was afraid of my uncle Miraz, and I still referred to him by name," Caspian said with a shrug.

"Apples and oranges, Cas." I said.

"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just an Earthen expression. Anyways, it's different. You-Know-Who terrorized hundreds of people, whereas your uncle Miraz-"

"Terrorized hundreds of people and thousands of creatures. I see no real difference."

"Well, I don't know how else to explain it, I guess." I finally admitted in frustration. "Just... I don't know, it's social convention."

"Alright, then." He looked satisfied with this, and we simply went back to holding hands and staring. It was a comfortable silence, one that we just communicated with our eyes in. Let me tell you, it was beautiful.

"Excuse me, are you Susan Pevensie and Caspian Diaz?" A first-year girl with waist-length dark hair and glass-green eyes came up to us, holding two invitations, rolled up and everything in parchment.

"Yes," I said quickly. "What's your name, sweet?"

"Flora Carrow." She said shyly. She then gave me the two invites, and skipped away.

I unrolled mine, and read:

 _Dear Miss Pevensie,_

 _I would like to invite you to lunch in my compartment, number 21, to meet your new professor._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Professor Horace Slughorn_

"So we have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Caspian said conversationally.

I looked up at the clock. "I think it would be best if we'd gotten going, now. It's almost noon." We scooted out of the booth, and passed the dark-haired family, and I gasped at the similarities. Caspian's hand went over my shoulder, giving me all the strength I needed to walk away.

Professor Slughorn was a fairly large man, with gooseberry-colored eyes, and a huge mustache that was a paled and greying strawberry-blond. He seemed quite welcoming, though. There was fire in my eyes, when I saw Blaise Zabini as one of the guests. Also there was Cormac McLaggen in the compartment, Marcus Belby, Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, and right behind us, Harry Potter.

Unfortunately, the only open seats were next to Blaise, so I reluctantly slid next to him, keeping a solid four inches between us, forcing Harry to squeeze in a bit.

"Think you could stand to give us a bit more room, Susan?" Ginny asked. I gave her a look, and tilted my head slightly towards Zabini. She then nodded.

"What's she doing here?" Zabini pointed at Ginny.

"I was walking by, when she gave this one boy the most powerful Bat-Bogey Hex I've ever seen." Slughorn explained. "Please, eat."

I placed some pheasant onto my plate, and spooned a bit of potatoes, before passing them back around.

"I was just telling young Marcus here that I had the pleasure of teaching his Uncle Damocles. Outstanding wizard, outstanding, and his Order of Merlin most well-deserved. Do you see much of your uncle, Marcus?"

Marcus choked on his pheasant, if it weren't for Slughorn's quick charm work. "Not… not much of him, no." Marcus said uncomfortably.

"Well, of course, I daresay he's busy. I doubt he invented the Wolfsbane Potion without considerable hard work!" Slughorn chuckled.

Marcus Belby eyes him awkwardly. "I suppose… Er… he and my dad don't get on very well, you see, so I don't really know much about…"

"Well, isn't that nice." Slughorn cut him off. "You, Cormac, I heard go hunting with your uncle and Rufus Scrimigeour quite often."

"That's right, McLaggen said, pounding his chest. "That was before he became Minister, though."

"Right, right." Poor Marcus finally started on his meal again, not fearing any more interruptions.

"Ah, Blaise, and I know you are quite acquainted with your mother," said Slughorn even more jovially. I gave him a second look. Was Ms. Zabini famous? I didn't think so.

"For those of you who don't know," Slughorn said, seeing Caspian's confusion and my own. "Ms. Zabini is a quite beautiful lady, who's married many wealthy, successful men. Unfortunately, all of them died under quite mysterious circumstances."

The hair on my neck was raised, and Caspian put a hand on my shoulder, sensing my fear. If what happened to all those husbands were what I thought happened, and from what I knew of Zabini, I could've had a similar fate. _All for the sake of letting go._

"Ah, Miss Susan Pevensie. I understand that you got all O's on your OWLs, and went with Mr. Potter into the Department of Mysteries," Slughorn said.

"That's true." I said evenly.

"I also understand that you had three siblings that-" I looked down at my plate, willing myself not to cry. I wasn't going to be at that place in my life again.

"Sorry, too soon?" Zabini sneered. I looked up at him, as Caspian put his arm around me, comfort and protection when I truly needed it.

"Sorry." Slughorn said quickly, to remedy the situation. He then wordlessly conjured a tissue. I accepted it, and blew my nose. Harry, however, was giving me this look, as if I were some whiny crybaby, because his parents were dead, he lost his godfather, and watched Cedric Diggory die, and I "only" lost my siblings, the only family that was really around, and the professor. Yeah, I lost my parents, too, but let's face it- they weren't around much.

"Thank-you, Professor. I was also a friend of Professor Kirk's, and it's so tragic to have seen him dead as well." I said, knowing what Slughorn was looking for.

"Is it true that he left a wardrobe to you, then?" Slughorn asked.

"Yes, I had a game I played in it with my siblings," I said, somewhat conscious of my ex-boyfriend being right next to me, paying eerily close attention to what I was saying. "He remembered, and wanted me to have it because of the good memories."

"You do know that Digory Kirk claimed that it was made from a tree with magical properties, right?" Slughorn asked, as if talking to an incompetent child.

"Of course I do. If you'll look closely in the works, you can read my experience in the wardrobe. It certainly did have some magical memories, I'll say that much." I smirked a bit at the end of that sentence.

"What about you, Mr. Diaz? I knew there must be something special about you." Slughorn said. "I heard you came all the way from Spain, from Beauxbatons."

"I had a sponsor who wanted me to come learn from Albus Dumbledore." Caspian said immediately.

"Who is your sponsor?" Slughorn asked curiously. We exchanged a look quickly.

"Narnia Aslan." I said quickly.

"How do you know, Susan?"

"I've met his sponsor before. Mr. Aslan is very majestic, and wise, although he does seem to forget little details." I explain quickly. Take that.

Zabini looked thoughtful at this discussion.

"Come to think of it, I have heard of him. If I heard correctly, his rival was Jadis Charn," Slughorn replied, thoughtful as well.

 _How does he know this?_

"But weren't there two Jadis Charns? One that was known for wearing white, another for wearing green?" Zabini asked.

"Come to think of it, hasn't Narnia Aslan lived as long as Dumbledore, almost?" Marcus asked. I about groaned.

"Both women of the Charn line were enemies of Mr. Aslan." Caspian said, full fire in his eyes. Then the realization clicked for me. The Lady in the Green Kirtle that Peter had told me that Eustace and Jill Pole had talked about was a reincarnated Jadis.

"It seems that your mentor has taught you the same." Slughorn said, sounding a bit sad.

"I have...personal reasons," said Caspian, and his eyes flicked over to me.

"Did she threaten Susan?" Zabini asked, sounding too curious for it to be good.

"Not exactly. My family stood up against her." I said bravely.

"You? A bunch of Muggles?" McLaggen asked. I raised my eyebrows in a queenly manner.

"Yes, and I don't know if you know, but my family is actually quite powerful, or was, anyway," I said with fierce, motherly pride in my voice.

"Powerful?" McLaggen asked doubtfully.

I pressed my lips together, in a sudden idea, that just came to me. I whirled my wand in a big circle above my head, and brought it down, and with it came a crackle of lightning, and a unicorn was right there in the room. Screams and cries of shock and surprise filled everybody's mouth, including Caspian's.

"The next time anybody doubts my family, they can see what I can do." I finished, after I sent the unicorn back to her home. Everyone regarded me quietly.


	25. Just a Dream

**AN: Sorry about the lack of writing. Temporary losses of muse suck. Sorry it's so short, there will be more next time.**

* * *

After the Great Feast, which went over new rules of paranoia, I gave Caspian a kiss on the cheek, a quick little peck, really, and began to go back, when the eldest of the kids that looked like Peter, went up to Caspian.

"You're Caspian Diaz?" He asked. I gasped it was Peter's voice.

"Who are you?" Caspian asked, regarding him strangely.

"Someone who'd like to have a quick conversation in the Charms corridor. Come on, I'll take you." The boy said.

"Peter?" I asked in a whisper.

He crumpled his face into confusion and anger. "No. Get out of here, Pevensie." I concealed my own anger, and stormed back to Ravenclaw Tower. There was a crowd, like there always was the first night.

I used the knocker. _"Picture two sisters. The first is born of the second, and the second is born of the first. Who are the sisters?"_

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "The sisters are day and night."

"Nicely done," the knocker replied, before swinging open to reveal the common room. I held it open as they all went in. Some first-years looked excitedly at me, and pointed, chattering about the Department of Mysteries, I think.

I sat down heavily into a silken armchair. I pulled open my notes on inter-dimensional travels, when a first-year came up. "What's up?" I asked.

"I was wondering if you could teach me some more about riddles," said the little girl.

"What exactly about them?" I asked, as I snapped shut my notebook, and set it down in the folds of the furniture.

"How to solve them." The little girl said sheepishly. "I don't get them."

 _Oh,_ I realized. _She's a concrete thinker._ I thought about it. "You've got to think about alternate meanings, symbolism." I said. "That's the best that I can suggest for you, sweetie."

"Oh," said she dejectedly. I sighed and went back to my notes. After seeing the family on the train and Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, I'd taken up my old obsession again. I would figure out how to get to Narnia, and I'd then use my Time-Turner, which the Ministry somehow forgot about, and I'd use it to get my siblings back, and my parents. Maybe we could live a better life, and I could sell my discoveries to the Department of Mysteries and get tons of gold so we could live comfortably, happily ever after.

 _It's just a fantasy, Susan,_ I reminded myself harshly. _Is that what they'd want?_ I felt daunted by the question, so I decided to go get ready for bed. I'd figure something out in the morning.

* * *

At first, my sleep was blackness, then I appeared in the Ravenclaw dorms, to see a boy in front of me, a year older than me, with dirty blond hair and warm brown eyes, dressed in a Gryffindor uniform.

"Peter," I whispered. He came over to me. "Peter, is that you?" I asked.

"Sister, it's been so long," he said, as he sat down on the edge of the eiderdown. The dream was so realistic, I could feel the pressure on the sheets. I hugged him, smelling the cologne he always used to wear that smelled of pine so strongly.

"Peter, why are you here?" I asked, pulling away to see his face, just as young as it was at sixteen, when he died, a few weeks from his birthday in August.

"I'm always here when you need me, Su," he said reassuringly, placing his hand over mine. It felt warm, much to my surprise, not the cold of a corpse, like at the funeral, when I tapped it in the open casket.

"I've been waiting, and trying," I said sadly. "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, but I can't, Peter. I miss you, Lucy, and Ed too much."

Peter took my hands into his. "Susan, loss takes time. I wish it didn't hurt you so badly, but you've got to take advantage of the fact that you were allowed to live. It was Aslan's will that you help in the fight against Lord Voldemort."

I looked at him curiously. "You said his name, Pete."

Peter shrugged. "In Aslan's Country, we have nothing to fear." He said.

"There's this family, that looks like you, Lucy, and Edmund," I confessed. "I keep thinking that they're you and the others, but Caspian says I'm just confused, that you can't be here-"

Peter looked around frantically, as Lisa turned in her sleep, and murmured something that sounded like "go to bed." He placed a finger over my lips, checked over at that bed again, and stroked my hair gently.

"Susan, we're in Aslan's Country, you have to believe me," he said. "But that doesn't mean that I've stopped caring, and neither has Lucy or Ed. Understand?" I nodded. I closed my eyes, and lay back, as Peter hummed a Narnian melody.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, he was gone. _It was just a dream._


	26. Lies

**AN: Sorry, guys. I've been busy with the Apples and Snakes trilogy, and kinda lost muse. Here's a long-awaited chapter.**

* * *

The next morning, I awoke, feeling a bit more depressed than I had for a long time. I got up, barely drove the comb through my hair, and got dressed. I didn't even bother with my makeup. I just instead went down, and got some breakfast, even though I almost didn't want what little I'd gotten.

I joined up with Caspian in the Great Hall, and went to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Imagine my surprise when I saw Snape in the classroom.

"Sit down," he said coldly, and we filed into seats, and looked about the room. Gruesome pictures lined the walls of many dark and deathly scenes. I stared at my desk, for it was a bit too much for me to see, despite having seen death and dark magic in Narnia at some of its worst.

"These are pictures, as you have noticed, are pieces of dark magic. This is the..." I blocked it all out.

"Susan, are you okay?" Caspian asked.

I sighed. "I just miss Peter so much. And Edmund, and Lucy."

"I've noticed," he said. "I just wish I could take away your pain, Gentle Queen."

I shrugged. "These wounds are just too real." I said that as I walked straight into one of the new kids, the one that looked like Peter.

"I'm Pierce Blackburn," the boy said introduction.

"Susan Pevensie," I said coldly.

"Excuse me for asking, but are you alright?" Pierce asked.

"It doesn't matter," I snapped. I turned to leave again, when Pierce took my arm.

"I'm sorry, but any honest soul can tell that you're hurting, Susan," he said. I jerked my arm out of his grip.

"It's just nostalgia and sad memories," I assured him. "You remind me of my dead brother, Peter. He was in Gryffindor as well, and looked a lot like you."

Pierce suddenly looked nervous and fiddled with his tie. One of Peter's tells when he's lying, I remembered. I narrowed my eyes, and looked around. I then pinned Pierce against the wall.

"Why are you lying to me, _Peter_?" I demanded. "You've got five minutes." I pointed my wand at his throat, and already a few spells that would leave my lying, scheming brother quite damaged.

"Susan, I'm not-"

"Oh, save it, Peter," I snarled. "Just tell me why you _lied_ to me. That dream last night wasn't a dream, was it? You actually got into Ravenclaw Tower, and into my dorm room. Don't you _dare_ lie again!"

Peter sighed, and revealed a bit of his glamour. "I'm undercover for the mission for Aslan," he explained. "Unlike Caspian, though, my time is up after your mission is accomplished."

"Are Edmund and Lucy here?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "Now, this is well and all for a chat, Su, but can you please let me go?" I did so reluctantly, and the glamour went back up.

"Why did you lie to me, Pete?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Aslan didn't want to burden you with false hope," he replied.

" _Alslan wants_ \- does anyone consider what _I_ want? I'm not trying to complain, but honestly, you expect me to not know my own brothers and sister? What kind of sick, twisted idea is this?" I demanded fiercely.

"Su, we can talk later," Peter promised. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have Transfiguration to attend."

I watched him in horror. I turned my ice glare on Caspian, who was watching Peter walk away.

"You _knew_ , didn't you?" I snarled.

There was real fear in those dark eyes. "Susana, I just-"

"Save it," I ordered, putting a hand up. "I'll be around when you decide that you want to stop _lying_ to me." With that, I stormed off to the library, where I started to cry from the injustice of it all.


	27. Just Swimming In It

"Out with it. _Now_ ," I commanded, holding myself with every inch of the Queen that I used to be. "Tell me what's going on and why you've been lying to me. Lux, I mean, Lucy, care to start?"

She gulped, and she waved her wand over her disguise, and looked down at her shoes.

"Aslan told us that you and Caspian might need help. But he didn't want you getting too attached, since we'll be going straight back," she said.

"Still, to have you back for a few more days is better than never again," I explained, still feeling my frustration from when Peter told me. "Caspian, how much of this did you know?"

"Susan, I-" His dark eyes were hopeful and begging my forgiveness. They made me feel a little guilty, but I wasn't backing down. They were _lying_ to me. All of them were, and I was growing impatient.

"I'm sick of being treated as if I'm so fragile!" I finally burst out. "That I can't know because it would upset me in some way or another! That I can't possibly understand what's good for me! What if I want what I _want_ , not what's good for me?"

"Aslan-"

I screamed out in frustration and about tore a strand of my hair out. "I'm sick of that lion always acting as if I can't be trusted with anything! You have no idea, do you, what I've had to go through?"

"I remember Divination," Edmund admitted.

"Then you understand, right?" I demanded.

"Aslan, he helped me, he knew," he said with a frustrated hesitation. "I have to let him do his work the way he wants it, Su. I owe that much to him."

I threw my hands up. "Fine, fine!"

I turned to leave, having enough. I had to get out of there, away from the lying bunch of traitors that I loved and in return broke my heart.

"Where are you going?" Peter asked.

"To go do things myself, since I can't be trusted to do things myself and not break down and be fragile like I'm made of glass, made of paper!" I would complete the mission myself, since I couldn't trust any of them. I was going to no longer continue having attachments with any of them. It would hurt for a little while, but when it was all over, I'd be better off, and stronger for it.

I'd been only walking a little way when I'd realized that one of the four traitors had been following me. I stopped abruptly. "Leave me alone."

"Susana, I-" Caspian stopped, and against my better judgement, I turned around to see that pleading look on his face, that look that made me want to reconsider everything I'd just decided.

"What?" I asked, a little more harshly than I'd wanted. "What could you possibly have to say to me after all of that? I know where your loyalties really lie. Isn't that enough for you?"

"Susana, I don't understand, you were fine just days before. We were fine. What happened? What's got you so upset?" He asked.

"You _lied_ to me, Cas!" I cried angrily. " _All_ of the people I loved _lied_ to me. Do you have any idea how much it hurts? How much living hurts? Maybe I don't have to live in physical pain or with something like that. But I have emotional pain that makes every breath hurt, every second, and it never dulls, never relents. Death always seems to win. That's the dark side of loving someone, and I've gone through it more than I should. Add that they're back, something that might have made it all lighter for a little while, and what do I get? They're _lying_ to me."

I was almost in hysterics. "Just cherry on top, wouldn't you say? Or, I forget, the apple on top for you! I've been swimming along in my pain for a year, and I'm starting to get in over my head! Maybe I wouldn't be so upset-wait, I _wouldn't_ be so upset if it wasn't everything else!"

"Susana. . ." He says slowly as he tries to approach, but I'm not interested. I turn away before I can be convinced to give it up. _I've got to be strong for myself. That's all I care about now._

I walk away, even though it takes everything I've got to leave them all behind. They gave up on me, so it was time that I gave up on them.


	28. Draco Malfoy's Book

I ignored the whispers said about me in the Great Hall the next morning. Somehow, they knew that there was a rift between Caspian and me. I was used to having things said albout me. About little Susan Pevensie, who broke hearts like glass. Little did they know how my own family saw mine as a heart of glass.

I knew that You-Know-Who had to have agents in Hogwarts. He'd be stupid not to. I began thinking of the Telmarines, which then led to thoughts of one Telmarine in particular. I shook my head to clear it. Who would be trusted to do the job?

 _Definitely one of the Slytherins_ , I thought as I stealthily glanced at the table between bites of porridge. _And also one of the inside-circle. Probably Malfoy, Goyle, Crabbe, maybe Zabini. Not Parkinson-Davis is a muggleborn. Greengrass could be a possibility. Well, you know what they say-keep your friends close, and your enemies closer._

I rose, ignoring Caspian's puppy face. I strode with my regality and dignity still quite intact and continued into the library. I scouted the Restricted Section, and decided I would wait there. Maybe I'd find a piece to the puzzle. After all, the Restricted Section had to have books Dark Arts users would want, right?

I began planning for the Ravenclaw knocker and how to get in and out. I wasn't as lucky as Harry Potter and his friends were, so I'd have to plan quite carefully for the heist. But it would happen. I promised myself that. I'd done enough delay in Aslan's mission to stop You-Know-Who.

* * *

It was late at night when I sat in the Restricted Section, having snuck in as carefully as I could. Queens know espionage more than others might believe. My wand and bow were ready for any intruders. Well, other than me, of course. It was creepy, waiting in that section. I was careful to avoid Filch and Mrs. Norris, but I could hear her mewling in the distance, haunting cries, and the creak of floorboards. At one point, the Gray Lady even floated by, looking at me disprovingly before moving about her business.

I was about to give up for the night when I heard footsteps. I peeked through the gap in the bookshelf and caught a glance of Malfoy. A sense of dread filled me, and I nocked an arrow in my bow and held it ready to aim should he attack me.

But then he stopped, taking the book with him. Before I could read the title, he had snuck away.

All I could think of was figuring out how to get into Draco Malfoy's schoolbag. I supposed I should sleep on it-but I'd have to be quick about it.

* * *

The next morning, I checked my schedule and prepared for Potions-I had that with Malfoy, and I could bet on the opportunities to steal something would be ample. Never underestimate a queen, I thought with a smirk on my face.

I ignored the longing looks from Caspian, Lucy, Peter, and Edmund at breakfast, even despite the fact that Caspian would have Potions with me. I walked down to the dungeons, careful not to slip or trip. While I wielded makeup usually as a weapon, today it was a camouflage. I looked as plain, as ordinary, as invisible as possible. The perfect face for a thief.

I slid into the seat that was next to Cas, and stared down Malfoy's seat.

 _How to get it?_

"Attention!"

My eyes snapped up to the board, where Slughorn stood.

"Today, we'll be making a Cold Concotion," Slughorn said. "This is an easy way to cure just about any minor illness, muggle or magical. Nothing as serious as dragon pox, I daresay, but it will do the trick when cold season comes about."

I ignored him as he read out the rest of it. I could make the potion-my eyes were on the book. As soon as Slughorn set us free, I began taking the long way around to the cupboard. While Malfoy rushed forward, looking haggard as usual, I pried open the bag, heart racing. I rummaged through, my hands closing on the tattered book. I then shoved it down my sweater and hurried to the potions cabinet, my heart starting to slow down but not quite normal.

I ignored Caspian's wide brown eyes as I slipped the little book into my bag, and continued making potions like normal. Malfoy didn't notice, thank Aslan. But I didn't want to hang around for long. As soon as class was dismissed, I sprinted out and hid behind a pillar. I then took out the tattered book.

 _The Works of Jadis Kirtle._

I dropped the book.


	29. Jadis Kirtle

_Jadis Kirtle? Like the White Witch? Or someone else?_

My mind raced as I quickly scooped up the book and hurried for the Ravenclaw common room before anyone else could see me. I needed to read through, see what I could come up with. There had to be a way around whatever Draco was planning.

In the safety of my dorm room, I began to leaf through the pages, finding things about a silver chair, a wand from a land unknown to me, a recount of rings and the oldest friends of Narnia-especially including the Professor.

 _This did belong to the White Witch!_ I realized. Then I turned to the last twenty pages of the tattered book. It was written by a "Myrtle Kirtle" which made me laugh, of course, and added several nasty spells that could only be used for enslaving and torturing and killing and other things I skipped over, for if there is one thing I know, it is that there are knowledges that are forbidden for a reason.

The end note was an afterward by Narcissa Malfoy, of all people.

 _To whomever this concerns,_

 _The Malfoy family would like to donate this work to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as a prime example of dark witches and dark artifacts for educational uses for the Defense Against the Dark Arts class._

 _Sincerely, Narcissa Malfoy_

I didn't know what left there was to say. Draco Malfoy was using a book like that to probably hurt or kill someone-but who? Harry Potter? That boy was protected like an iron wall was around him. Dumbledore? That was insanity!

Still, I went back through the book and looked for any indication of what Malfoy might use. The only such indication I found was in the Resurrection Spell, a spell that I recognized all too well all too quickly. Malfoy was clearly playing with forces beyond his reach. I didn't like where that would end up. But who would he be trying to resurrect? The White Witch? Some Death Eater?

I tossed and turned that night as I tried to come up with answers. It was all too confusing to do on my own, but I wanted to prove to Aslan that I could do it on my own, that I didn't have an emotional crutch or anything like that.

I realized then that my life sucked. A lot.


	30. Schemes for Malfoy

"So, Susana," Caspian said, "You mean to say that Draco Malfoy is trying to resurrect the White Witch."

"It sounds like it could be the Lady of the Green Kirtle," Lucy offered.

"Who's that?" I asked confusedly.

Lucy, Edmund, and Peter exchanged a glance.

"Eustace and his friend, Jill, found her," Peter began. "They were on a quest to free Caspian's son."

"Your son?" I asked, glancing at Caspian. "Well, why do you think that she might be a possibility?"

"Didn't you say that you read a passage about a silver chair?" Edmund asked. "Because that was what the Lady of the Green Kirtle used. It captured Caspian's son, I can't remember the name exactly-"

"Rillian," Caspian said quietly.

"Thank you," Edmund said. "And it kept him there till close to the end of Caspian's life. Also an Animagus, could turn into a snake if all accounts were true. We'd better be careful, if she is the witch Malfoy's going to try to resurrect."

"But the White Witch didn't have a sister!" I protested. "At least, that's what I remember the Beavers saying."

"Professor Kirke said that she did," Peter said. "She killed her sister, supposedly, in the war that destroyed her original world. So she can't be Myrtle Kirtle, whoever that is-"

"Myrtle and Jadis mean green!" I realized, standing up. "The two witches are related, and that means that the Lady of the Green Kirtle can cheat death."

"That's not possible," Edmund said, turning pale. "No one can, especially not in this world."

"It isn't even really possible in Narnia," Caspian added. "Not without outside help, and I don't know who would resurrect a witch who hadn't been alive in that world ever in Narnia. Either witch, however, would prove to go on Voldemort's side. We must make sure they do not return."

"I thought you'd say that," I said. "Well, how do you want to go about trying to stop Malfoy?"

"What are your ideas?" Caspian asked eagerly.

"Well, I think we need to confront Malfoy," I said. "Together, so that he'll have to listen to us. We'll take him to Dumbledore-surely he has a plan from there. If not, we'll get the Aurors involved. I don't care how mad the Malfoys get-they'll get over it in time. Aslan will help guide us through this, I know."

"Well then," Caspian said, "we'll try that. Where would we find Malfoy alone, though?"

"I think I can help with that," Edmund said. "I'm quick, quiet-he won't know that I've found him until the rest of you lot show up. Give me a week. In the meantime, I'll have to come up with a signal..."

"Send a Patronus," I said. "Your Patronus will come find us, and will guide us to you."

"It's a sound plan," Peter admitted.

"Deal," Edmund said with a smirk that made me smile


	31. Prince Caspian

Caspian, to my surprise, kept walking with me from the random sitting room we'd found in the castle. I assumed he would go off with Peter, but he stayed with me.

"You've been really clever," he offered.

"Well, I'm not in Ravenclaw for nothing," I said. "I just hope it works. Are you ready? Malfoy is going to be dangerous."

"He's just a kid," Caspian said.

I shook my head. He never did seem to understand.

"My brothers and my sister and I were only children when we defeated the White Witch," I said. "We were only kids when we helped you regain the throne. You were only a kid yourself when you were king."

"True," Caspian admitted. "I guess I keep forgetting. I felt older, and you definitely seemed wise beyond your years."

I couldn't help but blush-survival instinct, I suppose, in a world where my feminine diplomacy and beauty were to be wielded like weapons in a man's world, little daggers that would find the chink in the armor.

"Thank you," I allowed myself to say. "But we cannot underestimate Draco Malfoy. Aslan knows that Dumbledore most certainly is. It's so obvious that boy is a Death Eater, I'm surprised he hasn't run down the Great Hall screaming it with a Dark Mark hovering over his head yet."

He smiled. "You do certainly have a way with words, don't you, Susana?"

"I suppose that'd be why the Hat considered me for Slytherin," I said cheerfully. "It certainly did call me charismatic."

"I suppose that's why everyone falls in love with you," Caspian said.

I snorted. "You always are the charmer."

"I'm sorry, Susana."

I stopped. "What?"

"I'm sorry, and you were right, I should've told you what I knew," he said. "I know you probably still will be mad at me, but I want you to know that I do still care about you."

I took a deep breath, sorting out what I was going to say pragmatically.

"I care for you, too, Cas," I said. "But I'm not ready for us to get back together. I have some. . . Dependency issues I need to work out on my own. Surely you understand."

"Of course, Susana," he said. "I understand."

"Good."

We continued to Transfiguration.

* * *

Later, I considered this again. I knew Caspian would wait forever-well, he'd already done for that. And as much as I felt like I might owe him, I know he wouldn't want me to think that of myself. I didn't owe him anything, and he didn't owe me. We were partners in this, even if we weren't together right now. . .

Wait, what did I just say?

Well, I guess the thing I thought of is how I wanted to get back with him. I know, stupid, right? But I'd been lying to my heart for far too long. I saw the sun in his smile, the stars in his eyes, and most of all, he fit like a glove. It felt comfortable, to hang around him.

When I fell asleep, I saw his face.


	32. Return of the Witches

Naturally, we were called by the Patronus when we least expected it. For heavens' sake, I was in the bathrooms near the Quidditch pitch when I saw it. Since Caspian, ever the gentleman, had decided to wait outside for me, I came out, and we exchanged one look before running after the Patronus.

It twisted into the castle in a familiar path that filled me with dread. _Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom._

Someone had died in that bathroom before, and I didn't want the second to be Edmund again. I pushed harder, sprinting faster than I ever had before, leaving Caspian to barely keep up. I skidded in the bathroom and fell into the water with a splash.

I forced tears of pain back as Cas helped me up, and I realized that it was too cold in here to be natural. I took my wand out and cautiously stepped forward, around to the sinks-I almost dropped the wand in surprise.

A wall of ice had taken up a good portion of the room, and there was a circle made of salt on the floor. In the middle was Malfoy, and near him was Edmund lying on the floor.

"You hurt him!"

In a panic, he turned around as I marched towards him, wanting his blood for whatever he'd done to Edmund.

"He's not dead, just out of it!" Malfoy said, rising to his feet, only to slip and fall on his back. He winced as he propped himself up on his elbows, only for me to snatch him up by the collar and hold my wand to his neck.

"Listen to me you little twit," I hissed dangerously. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I-I-"

"Thought you'd just resurrect some witches you knew nothing about?" I continued. "Well, I've got news for you-you're dealing with magic you will never understand! The White Witch is no laughing matter! Now tell me, why would You-Know-Who want the White Witch or the Lady of the Green Kirtle in his ranks when they are more powerful than he will ever be?"

"Dakhel yonik hakena!" He spluttered. I felt the cold instantly and dropped him, raising my wand to the wall of ice. Just as I'd thought, a face appeared in the ice-the White Witch, like before.

"No," I whispered, my voice raising to a shout as I stepped back, fighting against the paralyzingly fear radiating from the ice. "No, no, no, NO!"

"Ah, Susan, how I've missed you," the Witch said with a smile that she'd only used on Edmund before.

"Cut the crap," I demanded, surprising everyone there with my word choice. "I know you hate me, and to not mince words, the feeling's mutual, Jadis."

"Ah, quaint, using my old name," she murmured. "I always did wonder why Aslan called you the Gentle."

"Quit chatting her up and get to it!" another voice whispered. It was a snakelike voice that made my hair stand on end. I frowned, and carefully planned what I was to say next.

"Am I in the presence of the Lady of the Green Kirtle?" I asked, putting on my most charming voice like I apply makeup-with ease, and dare I say brilliantly?

"Yes..."

Another face then appeared in the ice. While the White Witch was pretty in her colorlessness, the Lady of the Green Kirtle was too colorful. The ice was stained by radiant green of her dress and eyes, her golden hair spread behind her like a storybook princess, and her rosy complexion.

"Susan, dear one," she began. "I know your heart. You have been left behind, left alone too much for your heart to bear. If you let my sister and I free, we can teach you magic beyond what this world can teach you."

"We can make you a queen again," Jadis added. "But this time, with your true name- Queen Susan the Ultimate. The Ruler of All Worlds. With us at your side, you will be unstoppable."

Before I could say a word, I was knocked to the ground by Lucy, and Peter was in the circle. I struggled against the weight of my sister, but she had a good grip on me, making it impossible to throw her weight.

"Peter dear, how nice it is to see you," the White Witch crooned.

"Stop it! Go for the one who summoned us," the Lady of the Green Kirtle hissed.

"Yes, I'm the one who summoned you!" Draco shouted over Peter and Caspian, who'd stepped in again to restrain him.

In desperation, remembering what happened last time the boys decided to handle a situation like this, I finally found the strength to buck Lucy off, and rose to my feet, only to get grabbed from behind.

"Lucy, let go!" I ordered. "I have this sorted!"

"No, you're under her control!" Lucy screamed.

"And the boys aren't?!" I demanded, seeing how enchanted all three of them were becoming. "You have to trust me, Lu!"

"To do what?"

" _This_." I broke free of her grasp and swiped her dagger.

"SUSAN, NO!" Lucy yelled, running at me. I side-stepped her and walked up to the wall of ice.

"That's it, Susan," the Lady of the Green Kirtle said encouragingly. "Just one drop of blood will allow us to help you."

I pretended to look down at my palm, as if I would. Before anyone could stop me then, I plunged the dagger into the ice, causing it all to shatter into pieces. Queen Susan the Gentle, I might've been. But no more. I was Queen Susan the Fierce.


	33. How They Lived Ever After

We were later found by Snape and Dumbledore, and had to go to his office to explain what had happened. Draco Malfoy explained his situation, putting his family into hiding, and You-Know-Who was unable to invade Hogwarts. Dumbledore would die at the end of the year, and we would be heroes alongside Harry Potter.

The final battle would be in another year, and in the aftermath, I had to say goodbye to Peter, Edmund, and Lucy. They had gotten the job done of helping defeat You-Know-Who as Aslan had asked. Peter in particular was surprisingly cheerful about this due to Cedric Diggory being in the Other Place. Apparently they had gotten quite close in the afterlife together, and they were partners. Edmund and Lucy have yet to find significant others, but that's alright. Not everyone needs a romance.

But I suppose you're wondering what happened to me? Well, for one, Caspian stayed. Something about unfinished business, he'd said. We went on to have surprisingly successful careers. I would become one of the top Unspeakables in the Department of Mysteries, one of the few able to actually create a portal to another world. The secret really relied in a fairy powder that was quite easy to obtain, particularly if you were once and always a queen of Narnia.

Caspian was an Auror of surprisingly high caliber, leading a squad whenever Potter couldn't. With focus both on muggle and magical weapons, he proved himself to be surprisingly competent against such criminals.

We would go on to get married in a few years, with a small but regal ceremony. We had children, four of our very own, and told them stories about Narnia in hopes that one day they would find it, or perhaps many other worlds.

There would be a Call to them, after all, being the heirs to two of the greatest Narnian monarchs to live. They would be ready when it came.

* * *

 **AN: I'm sorry to say this story has come to a close. Thank you for being patient for the ending. I thank you all for reading this story.**


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